NEW YEAR

happy new year little earthlings! its a brand new opening and im happily greeting it. i hope we accomplished our resolutions this year even if i dont have any aims. but im hoping this year is a good one. for me and for you.

the real scenario

life has a weird way to show its rebel towards people. my luck for the past 20years wasnt always on top but it wasnt even bad to start with too. but for the past 2 weeks. its been like shit. no one can understand what ive gone through. not you. so forget it. to those who has helped me along the way in making myself stronger and solving what ive gone through, i appreciate. and for what i still hold indebt with you people, ill soon repay. for you i want to say thank you. to you i hope for your life long jolly good of happy life. cause honestly. u people are the best. thank you. i love you deep down. and i mean it.

this that this

i just came back from penang last night at 1am. penang is ok. just hot. well, cant expect to do anything more than eat and visit few people we know in a short time of a day. due to my stupid meeting at 2pm today, we didnt stay 2nights as we planned earlier. but its all alright. appa met his old collegue uncle goh. and another guy that i cant remember his name. and then we went to meet my aunt from my dad's side in sungai petani. well, it wasnt anything grand but its ok. met everyone in just a short 2hours. and then we drove back to kl. the weather was melancholy last night. i drove half the way last night until i decided not to when we reach kuala kangsar. so hard to drive in that drizzle. during the drive mama said something to me... "i know whats going on in your life now, dont forget i have instincts..." hehe i just laughed. but she was damn serious for me to break up with who ever the guy im with now. apparently she thought he was a dj of some sort. yeah, in that scene but toally different. im just gonna re-think about it. so much things to consider. she said this too "you dunno if ure on a rebound unless u hit something along the way..." maybe it is true. or not. who knows? so ill sit down and think this over. good bye for now. hugs and kisses from me to everyone. special reminder...IM HAPPY.

*LOVE*

Pictures of MOI

ATTENTION!!!!!

hey beautiful people...check out new pictures i posted in multiply. just direct yourself to the my picture link. me and radhi at C.V and also raya pictures! finally i can post them. especially to my worthy cousins. go check out our raya pictures. hehe love you people!

*mwahs*

hater

im so foolish. how can i be so foolish? and how can people be so cruel. GOD! my life is fucked up again. Just because of YOU! i hate you. and i never ever want to see you! not now not ever. GO AWAY!

aie eh...

im sick of everything at this moment. i think ill die with no one around me. i know i sound pathetic but this is my chapter today. i thought things are turning for the better. but it hasnt actually. but im still partially happy. thanks to all supportive beings. big or small. *gives myself a hug* love is never easy...its tiring!

Just dont be Me! its sad...

p/s: this song is playing in my head while posting this: Maliq & d'essentials - kau yang ada dihatiku *sigh*

wha diz?

life is just a normal cycle. we are born into this world, we die into the world in our later life. but what happens in between is the interesting part. will we be the goody angel or the red devil? well, our actions speaks louder than words. thats why God keeps a record of all the actions we do. from the bad to the good ones. which weighs heavier wins. well, it sounds so simple but it takes every effort in ourselves to determine what type of person we are. i may want to be good by nature but persuaded being bad once in awhile by other forces. so yeah, i dunno anymore. what ever comes out of us is our responsibility. dont blame it on others. im trying not to. so if i blame the wrong-doings of mine onto you, dearest people, remind me about this post ok? im my own responsibility. and no other.

Love, respect and hate each other with good basis. dont just judge or pin point at others. it doesnt work that way. LIFE is BEAUTIFOOL. like you and me.

Lots of things in head,
Nina

ok. STOP.

i love my boyfriend. yes i know i do. so stop saying i dont and im on a rebound. ok? just stop. you know for a fact its not. *urghhh* ive let u go ages ago. and i am definately not turning back even how often you tell me stories that maybe in 2-3years time we will reminisce back our past and start planning our future. US together? i hope not. i dont want YOU. so bug off. i admit i love you once and i still miss you but just let go and let me live my life. i want to feel something other than your stupid lies and your denial life. So, STOP. Move on. Im on the head start. Follow your path as i follow mine. Cause i know ure not worth my time crying, sobbing and feeling sad about. So give me space to create my new life eliminating you from it. yes. zero you. thank you for those illusion u put in my head for the past 3 years. and this is a stop to it. good day!

p/s: im forever myself's.

Let go,
Nina

Secretly....

Hello World! for the past few days, i was too happy to blog (not that im less happy today, but i just felt the urge of sharing it). when ure happy you have nothing to complain. and when u dont have anything to complain, u just want to sit down and dream that this good feeling stays the same til the end of times. Prolly im living in the illusion but no one can stop me. Thank you for bringing life back into me. *special dedication for my love one and GREAT friends*

i read sue's blog on fs and saw this musical title - fiddler on the roof. oh god, im trully touched. sue has this thing of finding things that are far too sweet and cool. sue, u dah buat i terasa hati baca that dialogue. and uve proved that love can also be learned and gained after marriage life not just at the first sight. *thinking smile*

today is a special day too, because it's EJ's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE. he is my very own hustler and my personal PIRATE. hehe a year older huh bee? i hope ure wiser...and im guessing ure having the time of your life in maison at this very moment im writing this blog. well, truthfully i hope u do have fun! and drink for me also alright? i LOVE you darling. and many happy returns for you now and forever!!! *mwahs*

ok, this is my complete cycle of today...the journey of life begins here and im hoping to have the best of it. another past life gone, a new chapter im stepping in. my book is fresh and my ink is full. so i better start writing and jotting in it soon. Here's to a funfilling and exciting life ahead...cheers!

p/s: im not dumb....just too clever! *LOL

Love,
Nina

a turn over...

its strange how life can just flip it's pages within seconds, minutes or hours for that matter. what i want to tell you now is that im happy with my current life. im not expecting a tremendous change in my so-called boring life. but a girl can hope. can they? ive had it with dramas, with tears and cat-fights. i want to be happy. as simple as that. and today is a happy day. ill remember this moment till the day i die. *THE DAY NINA CHANGED* and the mark of having someone totally new in my life. HOORAY! so, im happy. happy as can be! i love you....

to the friends i lost along the way in search of myself and being so drop dead emotional; especially my UIA friends, syaza, radhi, sue, kuhaz....forgive me if i ever hurt you guys ok? i love you guys from the bottom of my heart. and i mean it. *BIG HUG*

cheers to a happy ending!

Good Old Days

Listen to this song people - Bethany Joy Lenz "Then slowly Grows"

I got to know this song from my friend, ida. and ive been listening to it ever since i got to know it. this is how i feel now...but ill always be here!

Love,

Nina

taste it....

The distance separates us, little that we know responsibilities for others threw us apart while the love petals bloom. New kids walk pass us, they come and go. Family ties broke us down, even in this power of love. We seek second chances, but wished it was the way we were before. It came down to the lonely hearts to bring out the rainy day women. So dearly beloved, may we return with accomplishment and start our mallpisode with the blaze of glory. Forget violent beauty. Cause you're my love, my blood.

Love,
Nina

YO!

"Beauty of style and good rhythm depends on simplicity..."

rooted

im back in kch already. im happy (for now...). doing nothing thats why im blogging. i feel sakit perut. thanks to all the indian food i ate 2days ago at my dad's suprise dinner. he was actually stunned to see my mom in the house. who would expect his wife flying all the way over south china sea to come see him for his birthday?!? i would never expect my boyfriend or husband for that matter to do it. cause as it is im jinxed on getting clueless boyfriends. cant they like, be more sensitive towards things? aiyo.... *sigh*

if i havent booked my flight back today, i would have joined my cousins in cynna for a blast off birthday party and get drunk. he he he but being a good daughter (im trying my level best ok!) i flew back with my parents. how i wonder what my life would be if my parents are not family oriented people. well, i dont see them often but their instructions about family unity is really firm. sometimes situations are so unpredictable. at one time they dont care, at another they get emotional over nothing or simply say a BIG no. so, thats my family. YES! BIG HAPPY FAMILY!

i miss campus life already (the wonderful bits and pieces only). i miss my BFF ida cause she is just simply heartmelting psycho. no offence ida. i miss all the fun nights we had. im glad she is a changed person. and sorry for the bitchiness ive told about you. well marah kan...but we are good and cheers to her better rs so far. take care of her dude! *wink!

when will my life start to evolve towards the better side? to get better people around me, to get genuine friends that dont have a big ego, and just fun people to chill out with. and i seriously dont want a uia lifestyle. it freaked me out for awhile. so im HAPPY. and well rooted. *hugs myself*

Love me not..i dont care,
Nina

Life List

28th October ended...there wasnt any difference in the excitement.
Raya spirit ended...
Planning Studio 3 ended...
Portfolio ended
EXAMS...are just starting in few days.
Love life is resuming back...thank GOD.
Bitchiness are arising
Caringness is at stake

and i wonder what else will end my year.
and i wonder will my life be long enough to see what i may or may not become one day?
will i see myself good for the people?
will i see myself building a happy family and taking care of my parents & siblings?

or will i just be the next person the life will soon ends? i still wonder.....

p/s: i have my own mind too...but where are you now?

Love the Loveless,
Nina

Percentages

Body State - 70% strong 30% weak

Mind State - working 80%, dont care mode 10%, asleep 10%

RAYA spirit - 40% jiggie 60% lost spirit

Family unity - 60% : so low these days

Happiness - 40%

Sadness - 60%

BITCHINESS - 100%

Friends - 50%

Love - 20%

Hate - 70%

Complacent - 10%

Total LIFE percentage - 54.54%

Thank god its still above half. so i can say my life is still normal. *wink!

living pieces......

The significance of fasting month is you can lose weight or gain weight easily. what happen to me was, the first 2 weeks i lost a lot of weight due to takde selera makan...but currently im gaining again. due to my unstoppable eating habits. i like to snack. screw me if u have a problem with that. but this is what stress does to a person that has not been eating snacks for the past year. thanks to it, now im officially having BELLY again. not much though, but it has worsen this time around.

Another good thing about fasting is, time seems to fly rather fast and i cant wait to celebrate hari raya that is just in a week's time. im done with projects. i hate them tops. i just want to get our of this UIA circle and lead a normal life without having to wear hijab (my hair drops!!!! ish..), please people around me with diplomatic measures (just not me yo!), no more staying up at night to meet project deadlines and far worst is i dont want to look at this one particular face for a long time..maybe just for now(ntah...). but i just need a break from that pathetic n fugly face. GO AWAY BITCHES!!!! *opps puasa...*

now im having GIS class, havent started yet though but im not overly eager to come. my lecturer just had HIS PMS perhaps. he blow off his madness this morning with all those stupid reasons. ok, we are just human u know. dont expect us to be robots and do everything perfectly. i seriously think he knows about our internal portfolio today. and i seriously think he knows we will be supremely busy. but what did he do? got mad because the morning session didnt come to his class this morning. why we didnt? because we had our FCUKING portfolio didnt we? and our presentation was at 10 in the morning. class was at 8. u fcuking mad? he even said he will fail the morning session students. how much crueler can he be? is there such word? maybe becoming the next cruela devil. aiyohhh....life is so sad down here in gombak. seriously! so kesian....

ok, no more swearing nina, holiday is just around the corner....HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ME!! TO ME! TO ME! and a very Happy Raya to all. may your holiday be fill with fun and smiles. i hope mine will....i miss everybody back home already. and i never ever EVER want to come back to UIA ever again. can i? *YES!!!! YIPPIE!!!!*

p/s: my parents came back from umrah today..so thats one thing to be happy about. im glad they came back safely. i hope everyone in my family came back healthy. LOVE YOU GREAT PEOPLE that is called MY PARENTS. mwahs

Deep down Love From,
NinaLiyana aka The Living Legend. *hah*

merry go-round

life is at a downfall for me now. im a saddist bitch now. life is so fcuked up. too busy to care. i neglect many people around me. i hate this situation. why did i ever enrol in this stupid course! workloads pile up like mountain high. assignments after assignments, projects after projects, diplomatic maeasures after another. i hate being around UIA people for more than a certain period of time. its sucks life out of me. especially considering the love life that never came. sharks! i told u im lame.

ok, i have many confession. one thing may lead to me losing a friend. but one day, i may just have to tell. before i hurt & humiliate her more. pity this world. im fcuked up. enough said. and screw the world LOVE, LUST, LIFE. what a girl wants is only to feel that true love from a genuine person. may this come?

ida...maybe it will. kan? *smiles*

so, guys stop being pretencious. it doesnt work. and quit playing with our vulnerable heart. its too hurtful to bare. but girls do the same to. so both genders...just STOP! ok. least u can do is respect people's feelings....cause one day it may come back to you. life is a merry go-round.

Love,
Nina

drastic measures

i have to admit that being around uia people for straight 4 months (non-stop) and nada social life has robbed my way of thinking totally. i was talking to my friends last night over dinner for our so-called "sunat" break fast about this and its actually true that im very much a changed person. i need to get back to my other life! pronto! i am not saying this is totally bad...but im really scared of this other side of me. toooooo drastic. i think it all came to mind really hard when i lost my uncle. its a new leaf turnover. and its coming so fast. i even have the intention of wearing tudong outside! and my mom was ok with it. aiyah....cannot be la like this! break. stop. argh!!! prolly this is what we call, influential mode............so for now im going to re-think this measures. and many more things to consider before taking the next huge step.

till later people. toodle loo!!!

p/s: dont assume im so bad that i dont want this change but its
just not me. i need to think deep bout this.

Love,
Nina

Monthly Update

many have happened for the past few months. and yet i have no time to update my blog to share my happy and sad moments with everyone that cares. most shocking news i got was the death news of my uncle 2 weeks ago. it seems like just yesterday i last spoke to him and hear his laughters or his sacarstic remark on things around our house. and it was 2weeks ago too he just came back from melbourne. God is Almighty. He took him after he completed his circle of visit to all his children. yes, its unfair. but maybe Allah loves him more. and he is not needed here in this life. maybe he is now smiling down at us. looking at us in amaze how we bust our energy to get things done. or maybe he is with my grandparents gathered together with love. who knows for sure? but my love, prayers and tears will always be here everytime i think of him. I LOVE you PAPA OMAN. may you rest in peace. and may your soul is put among those who are "beriman" amin.

*brushing the sad momentum away...*

life have been going really fast these days. last week i went to Penang for our urban design studies trip. it was the bomb. and from there me and syaza went back to Sungai Petani to go see my dad's side of the family. it has been like 5-6years since i last saw them. my cousin got married a year ago. and gave birth to a baby girl. its kinda cool. other nephews n nieces are in good condition. my cousins are looking good. some changed totally and some remain the same. i think thats what life is all about. changes and circles. Mak Long is in good condition. She's fine. and my 2days stay was worthwhile. i wished i could stay longer but i have classes. i may come back again one day.

assignments are bulking up. mid-terms are coming up too. im busy. yes. and this may be one of those post i put for people's review for another few months coming. *smiles*

there's no time for love, admirance and flings. now is to boost up energy to study and score. i have to restore dignity and uphold papa oman's wish to have us complete our studies with flying colours.

take care everyone. im going to go now. assalamualaikum

Lots of Love,
Amanina