blurhhhh

angry moments. sweet moments. all are crushed in me. sipping my blood dry little by little. i have hatred for my friends(not all la). they dont know it cause im a coward lion. i nag a lot. but not do anything about it. aiyah. life. im sadist.but im happy with myself.dont judge me. or ill say "ouch". dont mind this post. its just to past time. i love you darling. hugs.

GIS Lab

classes started yesterday. today is my first considered i terpaksa ponteng yesterday. anyway, we didnt have UNGS 2040 today. dunno why. so now in the GIS lab waiting for Prof. Alias our lecturer. me and computer are bestfriends. have internet connection lagi tue. so cool. and this is the first class im attending for this semester. and im a SENIOR. aiyah....i feel so old. but its exciting to see those juniors running around. he he he ok lah, before i get caught using the net to blog and banned from it..ill go. bye

weekendersss....

wow. it has been a hectic weekend. partying like hell. i cant even remember the last time i really slept. rainforest was the bomb. everyone should come again next year. or mayb make it a family event. i like all this togetherness. other than the party facts, nothing really interesting happened. except for my future business in mind. and negotiation. battle of the band is coming up in kch. and i get to be part of it. wanna score big bucks. aiyah i hate this business side of me. i get so busy. and i neglect people around me. ***im sorry syg...

uni started already but because i couldnt get tickets to come back on time plus my back is aching like hell...im sick. so i terpaksa ponteng one day. i hope i wont get summoned or anything. but to hell with it. im in love with kch. i want to be here all the time. ive been so involved in my hometown's event. and i pretty much enjoy it. cheers to the NEW me!!!

oklah, catching a flight in few hours. good bye kch. ill miss you. *mwahs*

talk the talk

this madness, this glory of sadness is sipping through my veins. i wish i could just fly. just fly out of the galaxy into the other world. i hate u. i hate u too. and i dont want anyone. go away illusion. go away imagination. i want to feel safe in the arm of an angel but not you. i hate u. hate.

unfaithful

And he knows im unfaithful and it kills him inside to know that, im happy with some other guy. I can see him dying. I dont want to do this anymore. I dont want be the reason why. Everytime i walk out the door. I see him dying a little more inside. I dont want to hurt him anymore. I dont want to take away his life. I dont want to be a murderer.....

Perit....

Ku tatap gambar wajahmu, Sinar mata itu, Lirik senyumanmu, Pesona yang membelai, Wajahmu bercahaya, Memberi bahagia, Tiap yang memandang hati menjadi salju......kau terlalu istimewa, tetapi ku ingin melihat mu dewasa. Ku tak tertanggung rindu tuk mendengar suaramu dan tawamu mengusik jiwa.........adakah ini akan menjadi fantasiku didalam realiti diriku. Atau adakah ini titik noktah kebahagiaan dalam kesenduan?! apa dayaku....

...my senses...

some stories are better left untold. some words are better left unspoken. and certain acts are better left unexplained. why? because a tiny bit of mistake done will cause far much trouble and too much pain. in the end the people involve will get mislead, sad, bitter, and heartbroken. **Note; trust and honesty is the best quality. but can we be just that all through our life? i think not.

so people, even if u think ure right in most situation, there will be a time where u better keep your mouth shut n don't even try to make sense of certain things. i'd prefer someone to held an emotional help than mere words.

i love you. *mwahs*

Stand Up!

sadness is my cloud now. my forever emotional state. it erects anger in me. and i turn pretty ugly. this happens last night. i became protective of my own feelings. mine only. and didnt care of the others. i nearly lost someone last night. someone who i am comfortable with, part of my soul. im thankful for not losing him permanently. a friend once said "if you cant leave him, endure living with him cause you know you can't live without him.." it was one of the most wonderful thing ive heard. coming from someone i never thought would have said it. can't be better rephrase. so, today im better. after a dreadful night, crying myself to bed. and feeling all bitter, im fit to say...FAITH has brought myself together.

My Suprised Belated Bday Party

happened last saturday. it was the same as any other day. me and my siblings when out for a drive. afterwards we went visiting our aunt (our 2nd mother..). bla bla bla...nothing un usual happened. so to cut the story short...

my brother told me we were going to watch a midnight movie. some story la he said. and guranteed me ill simply love it. so here i was being naive. i said, ok. lets. and then he said he will come pick me up at around 10. just get ready he says. (dah ada lesen kereta katakan....) so, at 10.10 i was still waiting. he came back at around 10.30 with a bunch of boys..cute! much younger boys. geez im pathetic. *grin* it was 11.00 when we finally went out.

we took the usual road we take everytime going to the cinema. so i didnt expect anything. but when he turned at the next traffic light, away from the cinema, i was thinking to myself. why didnt he turn into the cinema? but i was like..... maybe picking up more friends kot! so i didnt say anything. not until he stopped in front of grappa. our local club. i was getting suspicious. i said why are we here? he just smiled and parked.

to cut the story shorter...there i was sitting in the club. with my boring face and dunno what to do. when suddenly a lot of people came. all smiling at me. i was wondering who they were. so, as usual i smiled back. then came the drinks. and my brother came and made a toss. he said "to the birthday girl, my beloved sister! happy birthday!!!" he apologise for not having a cake. he said budget tak cukup. aahahha. i said nevermind. thank you. everybody sang for me. and i heard a dedication from the dj's booth. and everyone in the club started to sing for me. i was so embarass. i can feel my face getting hot. but it was fun. i hugged him. and the everyone started to get wild n dancing.

well, at least he remembered! ehehhe or mayb it was just a small gesture to make sure he could party that night. ahahah i dont know. but im happy. at around 2am we moved to another club-rainforest, everyone i know just happened to be there. nearly everyone said hello. i felt like a celebrity all of a sudden. funny. and then the dj played RnB songs for me as soon as i walked in. My brother's doing again. so im proud. im happy. and i can say, im satisfied. i feel loved.

Thank you brother...you're the bomb! despite the no cake and the idea of it being a belated occasion, uve succesfully made my bday a blast. Happy Birthday to me! i wish my other half was with me......

p/s: to view pics from the night, http://qu33n.multiply.com/photos/album/13

Love,
Nina

From the noble Qur'an

Woman was made from the rib of man, She was not created from his head to top him, Nor from his feet to be stepped upon, She was made from his side to be close to him, From beneath his arm to be protected by him, Near his heart to be loved by him.

perfection

our wants and needs are overlapping each other when it wants to. in that perfect moment we couldnt decide which is more important. wants or needs? sometimes we cant even differentiate these thing. its so complicated! yes it is.

this is not selfish! wanting true love to exist is not selfish. but how can u tell when its true and when its just another monkey love? well, im lucky and proud to say ive found someone worthwhile. i know ive posted this kind of blog a thousand time before. but it doesnt hurt to actually PRONOUNCE it as a mere satisfaction. this is my perfection. he perfects me. eventhough sometimes he gets on my nerve. who doesnt once in awhile? but it is HIM who could make we go around the world with feelings. thank you.

this is for you my lolo;

- im the girl who likes your hug and hopes for a kiss at the end
- i like it when you hug me without any aparent reason...it melts me.
- i would want to stay in LOVE with you and forever more.
- i cannot forget the first time u kiss me on my forehead...the first ever!
- i like listening to you mumbling even if i dont get it sometimes.
- i like it when u laugh at my silly jokes....i know its tiring.
- i like the idea of having you for my own.
- i want to wake up one day & have you beside me & u never have to leave
- ure my bestfriend, my lover and my savior.
- i love it when you stare at me and say "I love you baby..."
- i want you badly to be right back beside me.
- i like it when u make me feel safe in your hands at night while i sleep.
- your arms around me tight, everything feels so right.
- i like it when u introduce me to your friend as "This is my girlfriend.."
- im walking on cloud nine everytime im with you.
- you keep things so smooth, so happy, so magical...
- but i hate everytime u give statements that would make me cry
- anyhow, the bitterness is lovely when u start caring again
- even so, our fights are always there...and will remain as such.
- ure the perfect mate through my hardship. thank you....
- i now, will just wait for the moment of time to say "i do..."

i love you my LOLO...

ok, i know some people would puke when reading this. some might say its lame. or maybe some may say this aint true. "she doesnt love him like what she says." but who are you to say those things? its my life. its my book. my chapter. its up to me to scribble anything i like. and this is the post i like best. cause suddenly i feel so alive again. so real, pure satisfaction, and supercalifragelisticexpialidocious.

dedication; my syg, i will try to keep our promise intact. i want it to be there always. and may this bloom like the rising sun. i love you darling.

note; even if i dont end up with you in the later years, i know this meeting was a blast. it has become something good and part of me will keep is as the best memories ive had, kept under special care. but for now, u have perfected me in so many ways. to you i have to thank. to you i owe. im glad to have finally met my soulmate.

toodles!

Love,
Nina Liyana

state of mind

humming: "say u love me all around the world....just say u love me"

the lyric is stuck in my head. it humms automatically when ever i switch the play button. old songs has it's sentimental value i can never learn to describe in words. not now. not ever. some of it has the most impact on me than the rest of the songs i know from this millenium. not to mention the lovely well written lyrics. and the beautiful angelic voices.

the world is changing into some random voice pit stop. take malaysia for instant. everyone is trying so hard to gain back the gloriest era of our local music industry. but so far none has succeeded to make a diff. why do i say so? we cant even commercialize our industry outside of malaysia. accept for siti nurhaliza la. but what happened to the new comers? to all the provoking AF candidates? malaysian idol? they were famous just because of the shows' publisity and afterwards...everything comes to a pitch black. so quiet. even we can here the cicak clicking...(i guess thats what its called...ahahaha).

and most that made the way up... well sorry to say but it's so understated. so NOT BEST. and commercial value is low. cant blame our generations if we prefer outsider musicians better. most of the people i know would rather have indonesian songs in their playlist than any local singers' songs. and if there were malay songs, it will be from the 70s and 80s.

sayang la...we have all the beautiful ethnic and exotic music rythmn and instrument. why arent any of us manipulating it and make full use of it? than copying some other foreign country but isnt as near as good. pity. such pity.

some people may not agree to my statement. but this what i feel. im in thirst of good local music. if someone could change our state. im happy.

good night.

p/s: influences are good.but when its not. it turns ugly.

*smiles*

Love,

Nina

movie review

i love X-MEN : THE LAND STAND. a movie u must watch. gurantee to satisfy the need of action. even da vinci code couldnt be better than it. aiyah...i like!

river of emotions

HAPPY+sad*sorry*enmity+euphoric

*hatred+LOVE*

~ostentatious-loveless*deliberate~bashful+

stupid-smart+missing~

>wanting+needing*tedious-boring*chirpy+LONELY*isolated>

dilema-like+tired~energetic-

dope,dreams^wonder-magnificent~setia+confused

*HOT+cold+CARE>grumpy~

uncomfortable*uneasy-queasy,thirst

+beautiful+CINTA^lovely

>WADEVA....."\/\/"

<*>

wadeva it is.....time for us to get straight with ourselves.

take care people.....

M&M's

people say kfc is finger licking good. but M&M's? wow wee mouth watering. ok i may exaggerate more than i should. but this is what chocolates do to people like me. ive not eaten chocolate for like....ermm half a year? tonight is a marking of a natural delight. i like.... and here's to the alcoholism! and chocolatism....!!!! aajaaaaa....

love all of you! *wink!

Love,
Nina Cullen (eyeh?)

my fav book review

ok...im trembling while typing this review. i want to say many things about this. once i saw this book "twilight by stephanie meyers" in BORDERS bookstore last month, i was captivated by it. but didnt have the cash to buy it. cause i was stuck with other 2 books. but 2 weeks ago. i came to my friend's room, kuhaz, and saw this familiar book on her table. i nearly screamed when i saw it.

so, i finally finished reading the book on wednesday after finishing my other book. honestly, this book is not close to what i can imagine. i thought it would be just another normal teen book. but i got it wrong. it was the best ever book ive read. the book is the type that will keep u wondering for a long time even after u finished the last page. not to mention the writer make vampires look less scary and more intriguing. some sort gorgeous.

ok, here's the deal. the book tells us the story of a girl meets boy, boy meets girl and both fall in love with each other and finally the girl found out that the boy is inhuman = a vampire. eventhough she knows how dangerous it is. she still goes on with the relationship. how sweet is that? the most interesting part is how edward cullen (the gorgeous vampire with porceline skin...) fight/struggle with his own internal beings. it wasnt easy but he tries very hard. because of one reason. HE IS IN LOVE WITH BELLA (the girl...). dont u just like stories like this?

btw, i cant tell you more than this. cause it will spoil the fun. u must go read this book. up till now im still dazed by it. and if im lucky i might just end up with a guy like that (aiyah...see im even dreaming of having a guy like that?) but i dont mind. i dont mind if i have to turn into a vampire myself just to have a guy like that. true love is...stronger than anything in the world. even for a living vampire. *sigh*

so people...go get this book. grab it while u can. before the movie starts(i hope..) cause it will be the first movie with too many gorgeous people casting. i bet you girls out there will be "rambang" mata after this. HAVE FUN!

i rate this book as 9/10.....my favourite book of the year for the moment.

p/s: i bet ill have another dream of vampires again tonight.....

Love,
Nina Cullen

and so it is....

arrived kch at 10pm. called someone that aint eager to know im here. im safe here. and still wondering why. im no fun anymore. i just realise that. i get emo everyday. and i hate it.

2moro will be the day for the beach. sadly im having my period now. cant swim. but ill definately enjoy the sun. here i come!!!!

good night myself. i hate this feeling. im lonely.

p/s: i am sad. my life is sad. *currently listening to a sad song....*

Love,
Nina

kemenanganku....

kau tunjukkan aku bahagia, kau tunjukkan aku derita...
kau berikan aku bahagia, kau berikan aku derita....

itulah kemenangan untuk diriku.

mohd irwandi ammegie, kaulah trofi ku. trofi kemenangan yg tidak dapat di tukar ganti. sememangnya ku telah jatuh cinta sama kamu. hanya kamu.

i'd love to say "i do..."

Lots of Love,
Nina

creating an illusion...

one thing i know i cant bare with is UIA. i want to be very far away from here. literally speaking la. not technically.i wish i was meant for another uni. but i love this uni also. so how ah? i got my result today. and it sucks! 0.1 drop. and im frustrated. i wished it could be better. but nooo...it had to suck all the life of today. NOT. back in UIA makes me feel so...i dunno, lost! i want to go home. thank god im going home this weekend. i love you everybody. im going crazy.

BELLA LUNA will be my anak's name...ehehhe *hUgS*

LOve,
Nina

im a fan...

of brown...pink...black(makes me look sexy and slim at the same time)

and of all the colours in the world. makes my life cheerful

of THE O.C

of Orlando Jonathan Blanchard Bloom

of Magics and anything that has to do with it

of MYSELF

of a Mini-Cooper

of ....and other things that is worth being a fan of. DUH!

cheers!