ok, remember those days when you would just sit down with few close friends and everything feels so ultimately right? just a friendly chat, from sitting by the road side, to the old chang kee "kedai kopi" or this most glamorous cafe with the small touch of luxury? well, i still remember those innocent days. not to mention money rolled out of pockets as we may sit down there for hours just to pass time. but it was the best. and i want those times to recollect. it has the undeniable feel of security and happiness. and the only thing we talk about is...."ermmm..let me see, everything?!" *LOL* those were the daysss...
reminiscing through the lovely time of family trips. we've been all over and yet we cant get enough of ourselves. from the immediate family to the very furthest of relationship. we love everyone in a similar way. thats to the max. we get on everybody's nerve once in awhile. but thats what families are for. we bitch about one another and we attempt to kill each other slowly by the word of "wisdom." NOT! but life since small have been fun because of the trips. its been a look forward thing to. and its been 4years since i had a big gateaway with the whole family. and im looking forward to this china trip. it will be another long row of quarrelling, yelling and shouting. and bad mouthing, and who will pay the excess luggage due to, too much shopping but its all good in the end. because we love each other and we are together. despite what everyone may think of us, we are united. thick blood is never to be chopped. so my family, here we go! and let this be a blast.
while writing this post, i got a call. a baby is crying through the ear piece. and from that moment i know my cousin just gave birth. thank god both are safe as we were worried the previous night when the embrical cord was around the baby's neck...but they are fine. fit as a bull. welcome to the family dearest prince! we will surely treat you as one. i wonder how it feels to give birth. its so nice to suddenly have something you own. and nobody can take it away. to see those cute little baby fingers and toes...with his first smile or cry when he sees you. oh how adorable. i cant wait to have a kid of my own. it would be the best ever thing happening to me. not that im saying im ready now, but the idea sure looks tempting. but i know my journey in life is unfinished. until i get what ive dreamed of, i wont embark into that just yet. babies will be the completion of my life. "Pelengkap hidupku..." aiyer thats "jiwang."
life as teens and young adults are always complicated. im experiencing it now. from the love damage, head damage, heart flip flops, rows with family members, fashion victim or icon, to the "it" group, and the list goes onn..... but who cares for all those? just be urself, like i always convince myself and hear my mom advise me, but how can you? when the rest of the world population is thinking in that way? there are so many books written on the subject. i once saw my cousin reading a book. and honestly i think its pathetic. the title is "how to be popular..." what the f*ck? do we really need to read all this shit? i know some self-help books are pretty awesome and it works. but this particular one im skeptical of. and i feel bad if someone thinks she is lesser than another if she's not popular. popularity is to be earned not bought. and different people will have different popularity. if u want a socialite life, make sure u be one. but dont be something ure not. doing things just to impress another being is just dreadful and a waste of time. im sick and tired of people telling me, no ure not good for this, hey, you should do this. screw it. im doing things my way. and who can stop me? only myself. im on a petition of self happiness. and who is with me?!!?? im happy...so let it be. dont disturb my teritory. cause it is totally restrcited to parasites, wananbe, fakers, and dishonest people. be true to yourself. and one day you'll find the rightful happiness.
*cross-fingers* hoping mine is going to work...
its been a wild ride. im stopping something for good. and i hope ill have the strength to do just that. welcome to the world of dellusion.
NinaLiyana