and so it is....

arrived kch at 10pm. called someone that aint eager to know im here. im safe here. and still wondering why. im no fun anymore. i just realise that. i get emo everyday. and i hate it.

2moro will be the day for the beach. sadly im having my period now. cant swim. but ill definately enjoy the sun. here i come!!!!

good night myself. i hate this feeling. im lonely.

p/s: i am sad. my life is sad. *currently listening to a sad song....*

Love,
Nina

kemenanganku....

kau tunjukkan aku bahagia, kau tunjukkan aku derita...
kau berikan aku bahagia, kau berikan aku derita....

itulah kemenangan untuk diriku.

mohd irwandi ammegie, kaulah trofi ku. trofi kemenangan yg tidak dapat di tukar ganti. sememangnya ku telah jatuh cinta sama kamu. hanya kamu.

i'd love to say "i do..."

Lots of Love,
Nina

creating an illusion...

one thing i know i cant bare with is UIA. i want to be very far away from here. literally speaking la. not technically.i wish i was meant for another uni. but i love this uni also. so how ah? i got my result today. and it sucks! 0.1 drop. and im frustrated. i wished it could be better. but nooo...it had to suck all the life of today. NOT. back in UIA makes me feel so...i dunno, lost! i want to go home. thank god im going home this weekend. i love you everybody. im going crazy.

BELLA LUNA will be my anak's name...ehehhe *hUgS*

LOve,
Nina

im a fan...

of brown...pink...black(makes me look sexy and slim at the same time)

and of all the colours in the world. makes my life cheerful

of THE O.C

of Orlando Jonathan Blanchard Bloom

of Magics and anything that has to do with it

of MYSELF

of a Mini-Cooper

of ....and other things that is worth being a fan of. DUH!

cheers!

what the heck?

people say my course is good. can get good source of money. but thats what they said about any other courses too if u were to ask. years ago, they said civil was the best and worthwhile. then came up iT. now what? the medicine era? aiyah...so tiring la all this course choosing. might as well stay home and wait for the money to fall from the sky. but that aint happening aint it? so there they were the lil kids wanting to grow up (tuija jak sidaknya...) and us adult wanting to be children again. less hassle, less messy, less HEADACHE. and i want to think everyday will be the same...me playing the barbie dolls or "masak-masak" and not think bout business deals and making money. i think thats why PeterPan just refuses to grow up. OH THE CLEVERNESS of me he says....HAIL THE CARTOON CHARACTERS! they are so cute and happy.

the other things...

(at a.lily's house on the 16th)
the minute i entered the house....

a.kiah : sik nampak kurus pun...
nina : ah? mena ka?
shit ive lost like 20kilos already and u dont see it? - in my mind la...

but i still managed to crack a smile. but then suddenly when i went to send some stuff to her the next day she was like...

a.kiah : eee...kurus kitak, nina oh? *she smiled*
nina : eyh? sekdala...ntah.
aiyer...wussup with this lady? so fickle kah? or just being nice to me?
im so confused...- playing in my mind again.

was depressed for a minute when she told me i dont look like ive lost any weight. but there goes my brother saying...

boy : iboh dgr bah cakap nya. a.kiah bah. palak sik betul sikit. *he laughed*
and i just *sigh* and didnt say anything till we get home that evening.

many things ran in my brain...doing flip flop, mind tricks to me. and i was paranoid of how i look. and also not to forget i sleep in depression that evening. but i can still hear my mom's conversation with my dad on sunday night.

mama : pa, kiah told something to our daughter.
appa : what?
mama : she said she didnt look like she lost any weight. nina was so depressed.
she still is thou.
appa : how u know?
mama : boy la madah...sapa gik?

that was it i heard...didnt hear anything else as i lay on their bed that night. pretending to be fast asleep that later on i actually did feel asleep. till the time came to send my dad to the airport later that night. so i didnt say much that day. and not till today. im avoiding to see ppl. only close friends. suddenly all the ugliness i feel comes back.

aiyah i was so happy with myself until that statement. stupid. but still am. in smaller proportion. *gRin*

old conversation

ok!

this time my mom occured a sound.the slightest that makes you think so much.

we (my mom and my siblings) were gathered in my mom's room earlier this evening. was watching our favourite indonesian tv drama "DIA". sappy drama that is. if you haven't heard of it. pity YOU! cause its kinda good to sit down and watch it with the whole family. spending quality time even it isnt so much great. but its still family time!

ok enuff. actually before we went to barong tinuk (so cool la this place..i shall bring you one day!?) for dinner, my mom pass a statement that her anak-anak should marry a foreigner. so may be better phrase cute gorgeous men and women. cause her theory is; so we shall never get ugly children that has flatten nose and weird eyes. or something like that. so, she said to me...maybe you should consider getting an org putih boyfriend. or latino. or even indonesian with good features. ahahahah. that was funny. while she was refering to that my brain starts working and running to find any available person for me to start with. and there came up felanie's name. ahahha *nong if ure reading this dont get me wrong...he's so adorable and very hard to resist...thats all!* my brain was playing mind tricks with me again. all this fantasies of having good looking boyfriend is so irresistable. but i have yet to find one. im evil. *sorry syg*

afterwards, we went to dinner and bumped into my other family members. what a small world kuching is. so we ended up eating together. the 10 of us. food was delicious and there was another round of post-motem of the anniversary party. gossiping again. as usual. but funny thing is, i realise my family has this love-hate relationship that makes me wonder how we actually can stand each other for so long. hah! blood-tie.

weird thing happened....the topic of gorgeous people came up again. i think my family is obssess with "org kacak". we can never be bored of them. we eventually will be mesmerized by the fact that someone gorgeous is standing beside us. nasib tak drooling....ahahaha.

so ending...we like gorgeous people! cause it makes the sun shines brighter. to me la. up to you to judge. i guess one day ill consider my mom's suggestion. or will soon find one. im gorgeous also what! wow...i actually said that. good night everybody.

toodles!!!

Love,
Nina

revatalizing....

let me tell you a stroy of last weekend. 8th of April. A date of my aunt's and uncle's wedding anniversary. the function turn out well. thanks to everybody involve that is. +US+ ehehehe it was a fun night comparing to the months work some of us had to do to prepare it. especially my cousin Kak Long. She was so dedicated man. No one i know can be half as hardworking as she is. To the rest that contributed to it, aiyah they were simply the best too. Nothing beats us for any family gatherings. "Togetherness tek nakkkk..."

everyone was so beautiful and handsome. yes they were. all in their evening gowns and tuxedo. ive never seen anything more alluring than that. some are just incredibly sexy. including my mom. the guys i must say some of them turn out to be hot. i met this handsome couple. both mat salleh of course. i bet they are mix latino. cause that feature is damn prominent. they were gorgeously paired up. me and my cousins were like "WOW! look at that....they must be the king and queen of the night" but oh well, despite that others were gorgeous too. do check out the pictures folks!

at the beginning, the function was so formal. but towards the end everyone started loosen up. had a few drinks around, and people started dancing the poco-poco. geez, people are just craving for that. and then when it ended, i just realise the only ones on the dance floor at 3am was me, felanie, nong and isk. where did everybody else go? so u can just imagine what party people we are la...i basically jump from one place to another. from the dance floor to the stage. got few stares from me mom to behave. but let's see...erm?? we didnt even care! thank god she didnt blow up. but to round it up. it was fun. terrific.

ending...the 4 of us went up to my room and sleep. zzZzzzz NIGHT!

enough said....check out the pictures aight??!!!

here >>> www.qu33n.multiply.com/photos

Lots of Love,
Nina the Belacanism.....