writing my retarded self...

im miserable. im depress. but somehow i can see the light at the end of the tunnel. the light is dimming but i can still see it. how can he be so cruel? how can he not feel the void like i do? but it has always been about a HE. why cant it be something else that im sadden of. why should it be a HE? im sick of games. im sick of dissaproves. and forbidden love is reflected as the best of all. you know why? cause its simply irresistable. and the anxiety u get out of it is pure satisfaction. but in the end it was doomed. this is my modern romeo and juliet story. but at least romeo and juliet were looked up to as one of the best love story of life. mine? just a monochrome of it. i wish it was simplier...i really do. but somehow its not. life oh life. i will miss those moments. but oll live it thru. as what a favourite saying of myself..."some are just not meant to be...." im strong. i can do it! but i never regret knowing you. The HE that showed me how to live a fun life and not think of anything but happiness. but things changed. and its a sad change. but i will always remember you. yeah i will. cause finally someone made me cry the dry tears. a big deal in my dictionary. im happy you found someone else...and thank you for being mine for those little times...*hugs&kisses*

My 21st....

MY INVITATION CARD

Turning 21 is one of the occasion that you would want to share with the rest of the world. well, in my case it was just that. i was happy with everything. i had a wonderful party that turned out to be the best thing ever! puuuurrrrrfeeeccttttt! i celebrated with my whole family and lovely friends. and to them i have to thank. for brightening my birthday this year more. there is a list of people i could never say enough thank you-s to, but here it goes...

firstly, thank you mama for everything. from the huge amount of bills to having to tahan with me making so much tantrum at home due to "stress". i thought it only happened to brides but i had anxiety attack of course. *hahahah* to appa, thank you for being the person who made it possible for me to look good that night. the arrival of shoes and jewelleries at the precise moment. to aunty kiah, the bead work was wonderful! thank you.

and special thanks i convey to my hardworking cousin cum party planner; kak nina for making this possible to pull off within a week. i feel your stress too. but i know u loved every bit of it! and to her brother iskandar thanks for the incredible mixture of so many drinks that i now have forgotten their names as ive gotten so drunk that night. but it was all so damn good. if i ever open a club you will definately hear from me! *as if la kan...*

to my friend mizie, oh gosh i can never thank you enough. you helped me go thru everything. thanks a lot chap! i sooo loveee you. from my disastrous pinata to the shopping spree of my dress. *smiles*

to my BROTHER, ure so wonderful that u pulled together a band just for the sake of me having a band to play within short notice. not forgetting the endless time u had to practice to make sure the songs are perfect. im so sorry i had to be an ass to u. but i so love you! thank you. to the band thank you too. and my little sister thanks for helping me out with the preparation of my invitation cards. ure the most silent person i know in the world that dont even grumble when i asked so many things of you. thank you sis. i love you.

my friend radhi, ure the bomb girl! thanks for designing my invitation. u definately know me in and out. i likkkeee! emma, thanks for being a good spot when i need to have few laughs during the week and being a good company while shopping.

kak ma, the tuak was fantastic! we had more of it in sematan thou...hehehe ure the best! yasmine, ure a good niece! uve been the one that helped me in times of crisis. thanks for being there at the right time.

and to the lovely chef melvin who have made my cake a wonderful one. its my dream cake and its yummylicious....wooohooo!

lets see, to my family from my aunties, uncles and all my cousins and nieces-nephews, thanks for celebrating my birthday with me and made it a memoriable day. dear friends, you all made it a night to remember! just for coming. to those who got sloshed...i bet u will never forget the day huh? kekeke Not forgetting to those who gave me presents. thank you. i love each and every one of it. *grin* i feel like a small kid all over again. teeheee.

oh ya, special tribute to my mr roy montana. thank you for taking care and being my personal body guard that night. from driving me to the hotel and also taking me home safely. i know i was a serious mess for u to take care but i appreciate you helping. thank you....

if i forget anyone im so sorry. my memory is not functioning so well. as a summary, the party was a blast. and thanks to each and every one of YOU. i love you guys heaps! and do check out the pictures and videos through my multiply. thank you again....

The One and Only Me.....

My Birthday...

it all started like any other ordinary birthdays everyone has. u know, the basic wishes and calls from loved ones when they are far away. and i like the old traditional way. cause its feels familiar. thank you to those who wished me on my birthday. im really flattered. it means a lot. *smiles*

ok the interesting part is yet to be revealed. as the time goes by yesterday, it ticks slowly. woke up at the slightest creek of sound. the renovation sound...*dum dum* so my day started early! and then the rest of the day just pass by like any other normal days. only at 12midnight (eve of my birthday) was my the ultimate possesion. my friends waited for the clock to strike 12, to wish me happy...and im glad you guys were there. *hugs&kisses* coming back to the story during the day...well, nothing happen la. it passed just like that. Mom brought me for lunch, and the day continued to be the same again. until just now...where 2 of my friends came to have dinner with me. and as usual, i dont eat! "have to get ready for the big day!!!" to cut the long story short...i like the story of-just now. cause....i feel special. he likes. *grin* ok. im done narrating...ask me about it....doodles! and goodnight.

p/s: im nervous for friday...hopefully its all ok.

Lots of Love,
Nina

MONDAY

im happy...being being happy. and me mama said me can go go to the beachy! yeay! and there comes the interesting part...................me and frenzy all going. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

me likeyyy

today is a cool day. i like today. and i feel its a blooming day....a start of a different story. and particularly a happy one...IM HAPPYYYYYYY! lets be merry....i like!

my retarded brain

u dazzle my days with your smile, and you sparkle my nights with your face in my dreams. how i wish i could hold you and never let go. how i wish it was ok to do just that. but its not. not in your eyes i think. i miss you everyday... *sigh* and i wonder if you know it. i want to talk to you everyday..but i wonder if u would mind...i want to see you 24/7. but is that ok too? one day maybe ill tell you this. but the day would have to wait. cause losing you is far worst then keeping this feeling lock inside. so love, i wish u merry! and i will wait til the day both of us are totally readyyyy......

Lots of Love,
Nina

A friend...

i didnt know ure sick...and u didnt even tell me? why? what a bad person i can be...and far worst i took it for granted that everybody is ok....cause i tot it would be just like that. and because i tot nobody would be far worst than i could be...im sorry. im wrong. i wasnt there for you, never was and i didnt even bother to check on you.....im truly sorry.

IMPORTANT!!!!

to my family and those who came with us on the trip! do help yourself to some of the china pictures ive posted on multiply!! its on the left handside....so enjoy! if u want the fullversion (softcopy) tell me aight!

*hugs&kisses*

AMANINA

The Trip

ok lets see what i have insight for you people. came back from china yesterday at 430am. and it was a tiring journey. had to travel from shanghai to hangzhou back and that took us 4hours to reach cause we had to take the immediate flight from hangzhou to kuching. (thanks to the idea of chartering the plane!! geez) and that is another 5hours. in total we travelled more than 10hours. darn it was tiring! and i definately stink! hehe despite all the bus travel and sight seeing to all those different different gardens and historic places, china was not so bad. minus the food and toilet condition lah. it can be an ideal gateaway for shoppers though. i just wish we had more time to shop. i would have bought more and for everyone. but im happy with my buy. finally i shopped for myself. and for my new bedroom! woohoooo... and ive spent all my working money on it. and im satisfied. *smiles*

so, in summarization my china trip is...

family fun + family gossips + group pictures at all those weird places + shopping + sightseeing + disastrous food + gruesome toilets + hilarious tour guide + me being happy = MY CHINA!

p/s: too bad i didnt get to see any hot dudes on the street...i wonder where they went!?

p/p/s: to my cousins, do check our pictures on my multiply. ill be uploading it soon. miss u guys much! mwahs

nina
xoxo