Feeeeeeling Numb

numbness is something u feel when you dont even care anymore what the situation will be. right or wrong? its halfway there. no one cares. im numb now. i dont feel a thing. only cold. alone. afraid. and despair. negative vibes are coming to me. why? imust be too tired to think. i love the endurance of projects but to finish it......you answer.

im sick now..tired to top it up and im still searching. thanks to those who made my life easier. toodles!

Love,
Nina

opps LUPAK...

hey....just wanted to say this....

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! MAKE YOUR RESOLTUIONS RIGHT THIS TIME U GUYS.


Love,
Nina

Jom Makan?

im currently sitting in the kaed lab now after printing my landscape planning assignment.and online now. i was sleepy in QSB this morning due to lack of sleep and i slept thru break. and im hungry and wanna eat. please help me. i need to eat. i want to go to the cafe now and indulge myself in those helathy food that keeps me trim n firm. ahahhahaha. ok...i nak gi makan. hungry seh!!!!! take care everyone.

p/s: i hope sarah wants to accompany me. *gRin*

Lots of love,
Nina

Say What?!

Merry Xmas everyone!!

im happy, im feeling useful and handful. should have gotten that PDA phone. but nooooooooooo wanted to be a jewel in front of my mom and said its ok ma. ill pass. "lagikpun phone kmk gik bagus bah..." how corny can i get...but everything's good. going shopping AGAIN tomorrow. more shoes and more tops i suppose? owh ya, one thing i wanna share. i lost another 2kgs today. i mean i check weekly. so i lost again. in total 9.4kgs. isnt that cool? i feel so healthy now. very.

what else is there to blog? more workloads every week. and tension arises. nothing to complain or feel proud of. copping well. i love my course for the time-being. and can't wait for wandy to come back. i love the familiar smell of him especially after he sleeps on my bed. that smell makes me wanna smile. i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

oh ya, bout the dillema. im over it. thanks to ida. i realise something. how stupid of me. but im happier and losing weight. so i can say im getting gorgeous? ahahhaha okla...toodles n nite nite everyone. huggies!!

Lots of Love,
Nina

continuation....

oh right...this is a happier version. (instruction:read the first one first b4 proceeding)

*scroll down...


i like the way i know it. it makes my heart grows rapidly big. and makes me feel beautiful but as i said it embarassing. ha ha ha ha.

actually i just wanted to write, i spill water on my baju kurung this morning while accompaning syaza n radhi for breakfast at HS cafe. thank god it was just water. if not ill cry. and now everything is good. class starts soon. so ill be off in a jippy!!

to everyone out there who knows this dilemma of mine. fingers-cross and shut the hell out of your mouth. i want it to happen but not this way. i love all of you. hugs. mwahs

Lots of Love again,
Nina

Gateway....

had sleepness nights last night and the night before. struggled to sleep as usual at night eventho how tired i am. read the QSB book to make me fall asleep. it did work for awhile but i guess my brain just didnt want to register that i need sleep afterwards. had dreams about lotsa stuff. all this legolas thingy is sipping into my head like no body's business. how weird is it that someone u like, may like u back. especially when it considers 2 years crush. i hate those people who like to play ppl-matching. i hate em i hate em i hate em. the least i need now is for someone to mismatch me and with that particular person. its so embarassing. so yeah, talking about my weirdest dream. i dream bout this person for days now, since i learn the truth. i know some would say im "perasan" but actually i dont like the feeling at all. i hate not being able to be myself around him anymore and hate for not being able to joke around him like i use to. or in a shorter version, being myself. its depressing. the ambience in the studio is growing tense for me when ever he is around. i don't deny i like to know what i know. but i guess some girls just cant cope with the truth especially for someone like me. i may seem robust, inconsiderate with my words, outspoken, happy, occasionally crazy (ermm..?), and etc but.....some things i would appreciate people to lay low. cause i am indeed embarass now. i dont keep secrets. but if this means ill loose my face to someone or loose my freedom of acting n speech. ill lay low from now. no more telling secrets to ppl. let me be the one listening to ppl for a change. ill turn the table around for awhile. till i gain my strength back. im tired, im sick and i have headache. ill push it away now before i grow nuts. now i understand why sue n kuhaz are secretive. i like that way more now. ill have to ask them for advice and learn how to be discreet. toodles for now. off to class in awhile. hugs everybody. i love....

p/s: to wandy, if ure reading this dont be sad. im expressing. no confirmation. i love u.

Lots of love,
Nina

memories

"I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all."

-Lord Bryon

i wonder what this quote indicates for my future life. still wondering and will never stop. do i stay to dwell or i leave and never turn back? clock is ticking hard and yet i couldnt solve it.........

Second Week of Lecture

Ok ill start off with ALOHA! Yesterday was a public holiday for the whole Selangor due to the Sultan's Birthday. Because of that, me and my immediate family went for a road trip to kuantan and terengganu during the weekend. It was fun despite the moments i have to go to the toilet every hour because of my over-flowing period. Well, talking bout bad timing to go travelling. So i would like to advise anyone with the same problem like mine to walk around as much as u can before entering the car. Cause the more u sit the more painful n over-flowing it is. Ok, enough of those gross detail. I came back around 730 last night and just started my assignment. I was lucky to be able to finish it at 5am this morning.Thanks to syeeq that accompanied me all night so i can stay awake. If not ill surely cry with deep shit. Yesterday also wandy called saying he's heading for Brunei and maybe will be in sabah for a few days after.Im happy for him as i bet he is enjoying every bit of his holiday. Will be seeing him again for new year. that wont be long. but ive already missed him so much. i guess ill just have to be patient. Anyhow, classes starts full blast today. Met Dr Spahic Omer, my Quran, Sunnah n built environment lecturer. He is adorable. I don't understand why people say his class is boring. I like his lecture. makes all the sense in the world. so i can say i like him la. cool kan? i finally have a foreigner as my lecturer.

Ermm what else to write? i dunno la, the ironic of all situation is i talked to hafiz, wandy's nephew aka my old friend in MRSM yesterday. It felt so weird knowing that i have a crush on him long before i know wandy. And now im having a relationship with his uncle (sounds so old la the word...but same age la)? so weird. even talked to isz, my classmate in MRSM and also a relative of wandy's. what a small world after all.

to wandy : if u come across this post, i just wanna say i miss you and i love you. hope ure having the time of your life and do take care. simpan your passport properly.dont want it to go missing again do we? send my regards to everyone and keep on missing me ok? i love you so very much. mwahs mwahs mwahs *hugS*

to everyone else...this is the end. im ending this so i can go to the cafe to meet my friends. they are having lunch now. so till later. toodles!!

Lots of Love,
Nina

Represent, represent Cuba!

ok, im currently listening to the songs from dirty dancing ost. nothing much to report this time of the month. its december and i dunno what to write. spent time with wandy and family mostly. my parents finally met wandy and didnt complain much. mayb his charm? i also dunno. no comments. other than that, nothing interesting happened. what ever me and wandy do on our first real date is for us to keep as memories. i didnt imagine i could do that EVER! but it did happen. dont get me wrong. nothing disgusting happened. just a stroll and fun-ish (if there's such a word) doings. to sum it up, it went well till he had the stomach cramp attack again. but he's ok now.

2moro ill be going back to campus and here starts the hectic life of mine. results was ok, but could've done better. will be seeing my friends again. Miss them la actually. plus my whole family is going for our yearly trip and im left out. as usual, duty calls. sad aint it?? oh ya before i forget, today my 2 close cuzz nong n zuki went to this explore race thingy. cross-fingers and hopefully they go thru it? its the second round anyways. so mayb we could catch them on tv.

dah la, im board of writing. ill keep my pencil down now. bye everybody. *hugs*

Love,
Nina