Perit....

Ku tatap gambar wajahmu, Sinar mata itu, Lirik senyumanmu, Pesona yang membelai, Wajahmu bercahaya, Memberi bahagia, Tiap yang memandang hati menjadi salju......kau terlalu istimewa, tetapi ku ingin melihat mu dewasa. Ku tak tertanggung rindu tuk mendengar suaramu dan tawamu mengusik jiwa.........adakah ini akan menjadi fantasiku didalam realiti diriku. Atau adakah ini titik noktah kebahagiaan dalam kesenduan?! apa dayaku....

...my senses...

some stories are better left untold. some words are better left unspoken. and certain acts are better left unexplained. why? because a tiny bit of mistake done will cause far much trouble and too much pain. in the end the people involve will get mislead, sad, bitter, and heartbroken. **Note; trust and honesty is the best quality. but can we be just that all through our life? i think not.

so people, even if u think ure right in most situation, there will be a time where u better keep your mouth shut n don't even try to make sense of certain things. i'd prefer someone to held an emotional help than mere words.

i love you. *mwahs*

Stand Up!

sadness is my cloud now. my forever emotional state. it erects anger in me. and i turn pretty ugly. this happens last night. i became protective of my own feelings. mine only. and didnt care of the others. i nearly lost someone last night. someone who i am comfortable with, part of my soul. im thankful for not losing him permanently. a friend once said "if you cant leave him, endure living with him cause you know you can't live without him.." it was one of the most wonderful thing ive heard. coming from someone i never thought would have said it. can't be better rephrase. so, today im better. after a dreadful night, crying myself to bed. and feeling all bitter, im fit to say...FAITH has brought myself together.

My Suprised Belated Bday Party

happened last saturday. it was the same as any other day. me and my siblings when out for a drive. afterwards we went visiting our aunt (our 2nd mother..). bla bla bla...nothing un usual happened. so to cut the story short...

my brother told me we were going to watch a midnight movie. some story la he said. and guranteed me ill simply love it. so here i was being naive. i said, ok. lets. and then he said he will come pick me up at around 10. just get ready he says. (dah ada lesen kereta katakan....) so, at 10.10 i was still waiting. he came back at around 10.30 with a bunch of boys..cute! much younger boys. geez im pathetic. *grin* it was 11.00 when we finally went out.

we took the usual road we take everytime going to the cinema. so i didnt expect anything. but when he turned at the next traffic light, away from the cinema, i was thinking to myself. why didnt he turn into the cinema? but i was like..... maybe picking up more friends kot! so i didnt say anything. not until he stopped in front of grappa. our local club. i was getting suspicious. i said why are we here? he just smiled and parked.

to cut the story shorter...there i was sitting in the club. with my boring face and dunno what to do. when suddenly a lot of people came. all smiling at me. i was wondering who they were. so, as usual i smiled back. then came the drinks. and my brother came and made a toss. he said "to the birthday girl, my beloved sister! happy birthday!!!" he apologise for not having a cake. he said budget tak cukup. aahahha. i said nevermind. thank you. everybody sang for me. and i heard a dedication from the dj's booth. and everyone in the club started to sing for me. i was so embarass. i can feel my face getting hot. but it was fun. i hugged him. and the everyone started to get wild n dancing.

well, at least he remembered! ehehhe or mayb it was just a small gesture to make sure he could party that night. ahahah i dont know. but im happy. at around 2am we moved to another club-rainforest, everyone i know just happened to be there. nearly everyone said hello. i felt like a celebrity all of a sudden. funny. and then the dj played RnB songs for me as soon as i walked in. My brother's doing again. so im proud. im happy. and i can say, im satisfied. i feel loved.

Thank you brother...you're the bomb! despite the no cake and the idea of it being a belated occasion, uve succesfully made my bday a blast. Happy Birthday to me! i wish my other half was with me......

p/s: to view pics from the night, http://qu33n.multiply.com/photos/album/13

Love,
Nina

From the noble Qur'an

Woman was made from the rib of man, She was not created from his head to top him, Nor from his feet to be stepped upon, She was made from his side to be close to him, From beneath his arm to be protected by him, Near his heart to be loved by him.

perfection

our wants and needs are overlapping each other when it wants to. in that perfect moment we couldnt decide which is more important. wants or needs? sometimes we cant even differentiate these thing. its so complicated! yes it is.

this is not selfish! wanting true love to exist is not selfish. but how can u tell when its true and when its just another monkey love? well, im lucky and proud to say ive found someone worthwhile. i know ive posted this kind of blog a thousand time before. but it doesnt hurt to actually PRONOUNCE it as a mere satisfaction. this is my perfection. he perfects me. eventhough sometimes he gets on my nerve. who doesnt once in awhile? but it is HIM who could make we go around the world with feelings. thank you.

this is for you my lolo;

- im the girl who likes your hug and hopes for a kiss at the end
- i like it when you hug me without any aparent reason...it melts me.
- i would want to stay in LOVE with you and forever more.
- i cannot forget the first time u kiss me on my forehead...the first ever!
- i like listening to you mumbling even if i dont get it sometimes.
- i like it when u laugh at my silly jokes....i know its tiring.
- i like the idea of having you for my own.
- i want to wake up one day & have you beside me & u never have to leave
- ure my bestfriend, my lover and my savior.
- i love it when you stare at me and say "I love you baby..."
- i want you badly to be right back beside me.
- i like it when u make me feel safe in your hands at night while i sleep.
- your arms around me tight, everything feels so right.
- i like it when u introduce me to your friend as "This is my girlfriend.."
- im walking on cloud nine everytime im with you.
- you keep things so smooth, so happy, so magical...
- but i hate everytime u give statements that would make me cry
- anyhow, the bitterness is lovely when u start caring again
- even so, our fights are always there...and will remain as such.
- ure the perfect mate through my hardship. thank you....
- i now, will just wait for the moment of time to say "i do..."

i love you my LOLO...

ok, i know some people would puke when reading this. some might say its lame. or maybe some may say this aint true. "she doesnt love him like what she says." but who are you to say those things? its my life. its my book. my chapter. its up to me to scribble anything i like. and this is the post i like best. cause suddenly i feel so alive again. so real, pure satisfaction, and supercalifragelisticexpialidocious.

dedication; my syg, i will try to keep our promise intact. i want it to be there always. and may this bloom like the rising sun. i love you darling.

note; even if i dont end up with you in the later years, i know this meeting was a blast. it has become something good and part of me will keep is as the best memories ive had, kept under special care. but for now, u have perfected me in so many ways. to you i have to thank. to you i owe. im glad to have finally met my soulmate.

toodles!

Love,
Nina Liyana

state of mind

humming: "say u love me all around the world....just say u love me"

the lyric is stuck in my head. it humms automatically when ever i switch the play button. old songs has it's sentimental value i can never learn to describe in words. not now. not ever. some of it has the most impact on me than the rest of the songs i know from this millenium. not to mention the lovely well written lyrics. and the beautiful angelic voices.

the world is changing into some random voice pit stop. take malaysia for instant. everyone is trying so hard to gain back the gloriest era of our local music industry. but so far none has succeeded to make a diff. why do i say so? we cant even commercialize our industry outside of malaysia. accept for siti nurhaliza la. but what happened to the new comers? to all the provoking AF candidates? malaysian idol? they were famous just because of the shows' publisity and afterwards...everything comes to a pitch black. so quiet. even we can here the cicak clicking...(i guess thats what its called...ahahaha).

and most that made the way up... well sorry to say but it's so understated. so NOT BEST. and commercial value is low. cant blame our generations if we prefer outsider musicians better. most of the people i know would rather have indonesian songs in their playlist than any local singers' songs. and if there were malay songs, it will be from the 70s and 80s.

sayang la...we have all the beautiful ethnic and exotic music rythmn and instrument. why arent any of us manipulating it and make full use of it? than copying some other foreign country but isnt as near as good. pity. such pity.

some people may not agree to my statement. but this what i feel. im in thirst of good local music. if someone could change our state. im happy.

good night.

p/s: influences are good.but when its not. it turns ugly.

*smiles*

Love,

Nina