Today I woke up fresh and went to work early. I've never felt this good for the longest time. While sipping my morning Milo, I thought of the things my cousins used to tell me "once you start working, thats your life and gradually the work will consume you. Changing you either into a bad or good person". My response was simple; Bullshit! But today, I can't agree more.
In kindi - I wanted to be Sleeping Beauty; which I LOVE to do during all the free time I have now. (partly I've achieved it...LOL)
Below 12 - I wanted to be a fashion designer because that time I was an overweight kid who couldn't wear nice clothes. Than, I was determine to make clothes that fit bodies like mine. Can you believe that I thought of this when I was small? Weird much!? I think YES.
2001 - After PMR. The only dream was to get the hell out of the boarding school. Successfull - went to day school for the next 2 years.
2003 - Just after SPM: wanted to be an architect and got a chance to do so but blew it. Typical.
2005 - Registered for a different course which I think is so much better than my intial Architect dream. I was taught to design and do policies for TOWNS! I felt so POWERFUL. *evil laugh*
2009 - Graduated with a dream in Mind, U.N as my ultimate career goal and I don't care how I get there but I will be part of that.
So decided to go for Masters - applied but never left the country. I think I'm partly brain damaged.
Currently - Employed and Stuck in a foreign bank with a Boss who thinks my 2009 U.N goal is Immature because he is against Social Workers. WTF? Just a Note: That's not what I wanted to do. *Haish. He said, "I saw you as this immature young lady with extremely good potential. Thats why I hired you". I know its a compliment but I felt offended. Oh well, at first I did like my job here but now I'm just rethinking.... &
Still wondering if 2009 goal is achievable or not. Hopefully next year I really get to leave the country to pursue my education. *Cross-fingers*
Just plain old ME with Big Dreams (as usual),
+Nina Liyana+
Friday, July 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
ARB
hello. from the ARB computer.
this is the only social networking allowed. pathetic? somewhat yes. :)
so..the blue is sky! adios amigos!
this is the only social networking allowed. pathetic? somewhat yes. :)
so..the blue is sky! adios amigos!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Just me...
One day when i see the light ill walk to it but if i dont, ill stay where i am. No one can hurt me. No one can make me cry. im strong eventhough i know no one could understand why. ive weep but its alright. everything is fine. will they get justice? i know im pretty ugly. thanks. we are what we are.
xoxo
xoxo
Thursday, November 12, 2009
thursday...
"plain truth" is addictive. This is a recommendation to my friends who loves reading. The author is Jodi Picoult. Her writing is cool and full of anticipations. So if you have time, try to read it. I took 2months to finish due to the fact that working life tires me down.... so people, stay pretty, handsome, hot and cool. 143.
p/s: even how busy you are in life, put some love into gaining different knowledge out of your study scope. i tell u, its worth it.
p/p/s: BOND trading anyone?
p/s: even how busy you are in life, put some love into gaining different knowledge out of your study scope. i tell u, its worth it.
p/p/s: BOND trading anyone?
Monday, September 07, 2009
taking back whats mine
It has always been mine, never yours. It has always been my destiny, my happiness, my pride and my joy but never yours to claim. Nothing is impossible, for only those who are brave enough could survive this agony. Agony created by an earthling called YOU.
Anguish is never a choice but it comes naturally. One day this feeling of mine will go away. One day it will change into something really beautiful. Similarly to the beauty butterflies posses at a short time span but still has an impact. Love is great, so is hate.
Therefore people, its time for us to 'bertakafur'..... good luck! Hopefully we'll make a wise choice. *full stop*
Anguish is never a choice but it comes naturally. One day this feeling of mine will go away. One day it will change into something really beautiful. Similarly to the beauty butterflies posses at a short time span but still has an impact. Love is great, so is hate.
Therefore people, its time for us to 'bertakafur'..... good luck! Hopefully we'll make a wise choice. *full stop*
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Little Mis-Concept
the concept of success is...
it is already there (in our lives). it depends on which path you take and how fast you'll arrive to the preferred successful destination.
however, my cup of tea is swirling... success is indeed somewhere inside. i know i can do it.
thanks for the gift ma, pa. i love it!
it is already there (in our lives). it depends on which path you take and how fast you'll arrive to the preferred successful destination.
however, my cup of tea is swirling... success is indeed somewhere inside. i know i can do it.
thanks for the gift ma, pa. i love it!
Saturday, August 08, 2009
dumb dumb
i think my brain is deterorating. i think my mind wanders to every place it wants or can think of. i think my head spins too fast at times that i feel like puking. and maybe at times my brain fails for a reason. perhaps? but i can still remember the day when my brain was in good shape. is it the age or have I just stopped using it properly? oh blimey me....help the wanderer!
Thursday, August 06, 2009
The Girl behind the mask
One fine day, a girl walks and cries. her heart bleaks.
what happened? she slipped and tumble. thats why.
but today she is strong and independent.
will people still judge her and will there ever be pure bliss at the end of the tunnel?
how she wish, this is not another concrete jungle leaving people to suffocate.
the timeline is ticking....the path is set. one day it will spell out victory.
so, Cheers! to the happiness awaiting. With patience, real essence and joy we shall be there.
what happened? she slipped and tumble. thats why.
but today she is strong and independent.
will people still judge her and will there ever be pure bliss at the end of the tunnel?
how she wish, this is not another concrete jungle leaving people to suffocate.
the timeline is ticking....the path is set. one day it will spell out victory.
so, Cheers! to the happiness awaiting. With patience, real essence and joy we shall be there.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
dah sudah lah....
sometimes we're too caught up of living our lives that it goes on without us realising that it is stepping into new chapters everyday. just last week i thought i wouldn't be able to finish the cs and make it for clearance. but i finally did. and im so so so happy. *leaping with joy* as to that, i am proud to say im officially a graduate! ~exams are over, project paper was a success, cs done, clearance done, final transcript collected and most importantly, im no more bonded to UIA.. yes! for now, im free and await for my convocation in october. this is such a relief. -----next in my near future?! what will happen? well, lets see..... love you guys. and i miss my S and K. *mwahs
Saturday, April 18, 2009
happiness
i have finished final exams. i have finally hard bounded my thesis. im worthy of a degree. yes? im so happpyyyyyy! hopefully everything goes fine from now. this is my sound of freedom. :)
Monday, March 09, 2009
Foam Quack Quack
ok i dont have pictures but the event was a blast. nothing beats being submerged in foam and being all flirtatious among guys i dont even remember their names after 5 minutes being around them. hah! i miss the foam, the coldness after you had the shower (to clean yourself esp. the eye) and decide being in the foam is much better and warmer. LOL i dunno how to describe this...but i definately will go to a party like that again. no doubt. as long as its clean and happening. who ever is wondering what im talking about, its the Quack Quack Foam party held yesterday, sunday 8th March 2009 at Market Place. its the beginning of great events for me this year. practically sloshed and unable to remember anything after. what say you? i wished some of my other friends were there too, but the 8 of us that went surely had fun. i can tell. as for now, im trying to find where they are posting the pictures, so i can see how silly i was and show you guys how massive the foam was. ill miss last night. my first experience. i am not a FOAM PARTY virgin anymore. hahahhaha thanks guys! and keep it up! they should do this again soon.
p/s: im thinking of this party for my birthday.... now i know what i want. hahahaha
xoxo
Sunday, February 15, 2009
im sick but blessed
im blessed with loving parents.
im blessed by having good friends.
im blessed by having cousins who understands me and like being around me.
mostly im blessed for being me.
thank you God for giving this terrific life to me.
im blessed by having good friends.
im blessed by having cousins who understands me and like being around me.
mostly im blessed for being me.
thank you God for giving this terrific life to me.
Friday, February 13, 2009
perfect...
tonight was nearly perfect...i think!
last weekend was perfect when i heard his voice.
but most of all, my life is perfect when i have YOU.... (fill in the blanks...)
p/s: i nak kahwin la....LOL. oh btw, happy advance VALENTINES day my friends: syaza, radhi, sue, kuhaz, ida. & extra special to NOREEN and DEWI. u girls are my pillars!
last weekend was perfect when i heard his voice.
but most of all, my life is perfect when i have YOU.... (fill in the blanks...)
p/s: i nak kahwin la....LOL. oh btw, happy advance VALENTINES day my friends: syaza, radhi, sue, kuhaz, ida. & extra special to NOREEN and DEWI. u girls are my pillars!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
should i?
its been a long time. but its coming.
im not good with hellos, arrival, goodbyes or even departures. a person has to make the first move before i get friendly and departure happened twice recently that im glad i had strength to hold on.
my friends departed somewhere i believe is very exciting. one place with beautiful beaches and places to explore, another a laid back place where it feels like a second home to me whenever im there. however, i know it must be scary for you but its an experience! a new world, a new chapter. i like the sound of it. u girls be glorious promise?
events after events drool over me in recent weeks. i fail to understand myself sometimes. but i love the hustle and bustle of it. i dont make sense. along the way ive learnt to appreciate myself, and along the line ive seen myself as beautiful. maybe one day ill see more of myself. and maybe, just maybe that person will notice.....
please dont leave me....
im not good with hellos, arrival, goodbyes or even departures. a person has to make the first move before i get friendly and departure happened twice recently that im glad i had strength to hold on.
my friends departed somewhere i believe is very exciting. one place with beautiful beaches and places to explore, another a laid back place where it feels like a second home to me whenever im there. however, i know it must be scary for you but its an experience! a new world, a new chapter. i like the sound of it. u girls be glorious promise?
events after events drool over me in recent weeks. i fail to understand myself sometimes. but i love the hustle and bustle of it. i dont make sense. along the way ive learnt to appreciate myself, and along the line ive seen myself as beautiful. maybe one day ill see more of myself. and maybe, just maybe that person will notice.....
please dont leave me....
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
The Awaiting
One day i will look back to the days i have experienced and gone through these past 4years (here) and if u were to ask me what i'd miss or will i miss it? honestly, my answer is "i don't know". I have no direct attachment to any area of my university grounds nor any programs in particular. but i know ill miss my girlfriends who never fails to give me a "sense of joy". definitely. 2 of them are leaving real soon. and i bit them good bye and all the best of luck. im happy for you both. *big hug* i'd miss my other friends too. they are like pillar of "gembira-ness".
or maybe (i just thought of this actually), i would miss calling kak hanim (my dean's p.a) up to make appointments to see prof mansor. She's so nice, And maybe i will miss most lecturer's room that i often visit. Other than these, if u'd ask again what else i will miss in my life if the wind direction changes soon, is the warm feeling of having my beloved family around. I would miss raya's and every other occasion we celebrate yearly. and the moral support they give me generally. as well as their endless love for me thoroughly.
pls promise me people you will come visit wherever i go in the future. ill come to you too if God is willing.
Mama: ill miss your endless nags (i know u'd want only the best for me), your delicious cookings, and most of all your warm hugs and kisses that are able to shay the pain or sorrows i feel, away
Appa: ill miss your advise (u never bore me with it), excellent general knowledge-ure like a living encyclopedia, and a pillar to hold on
Asyraf: ill definitely miss the endless argues we have EVERYDAY but i will surely miss to have you sticking up for me EVERYTIME. and also the most important is, ill miss ur singing (hahahaha)
Amyrah: ill miss ur silence (most of the time), that unique laughters u fill my days with and ur remarkable huge appetite. ill miss it all.
Kak Tina: she is like family. without her we are doomed. ill miss the fresh clean cloths that i don't have to do myself daily, ur "i'm always right" attitude (funny) and the mouth-watering sambal tempe and appam. ill miss it if i go far. *drool*
Noreen: i miss partying with you, shopping with you, eating with you, and talking crap with you. u're like a bigger sister i never had. u were always there for me. thank you. i will definitely and surely miss you.
but whatever it is, just pray i go somewhere cool, the best, safe and beautiful. So this sem's resolution is to score; dean's list or more and make the best out of all things. *cross-fingers* Amin.
XOXO
or maybe (i just thought of this actually), i would miss calling kak hanim (my dean's p.a) up to make appointments to see prof mansor. She's so nice, And maybe i will miss most lecturer's room that i often visit. Other than these, if u'd ask again what else i will miss in my life if the wind direction changes soon, is the warm feeling of having my beloved family around. I would miss raya's and every other occasion we celebrate yearly. and the moral support they give me generally. as well as their endless love for me thoroughly.
pls promise me people you will come visit wherever i go in the future. ill come to you too if God is willing.
Mama: ill miss your endless nags (i know u'd want only the best for me), your delicious cookings, and most of all your warm hugs and kisses that are able to shay the pain or sorrows i feel, away
Appa: ill miss your advise (u never bore me with it), excellent general knowledge-ure like a living encyclopedia, and a pillar to hold on
Asyraf: ill definitely miss the endless argues we have EVERYDAY but i will surely miss to have you sticking up for me EVERYTIME. and also the most important is, ill miss ur singing (hahahaha)
Amyrah: ill miss ur silence (most of the time), that unique laughters u fill my days with and ur remarkable huge appetite. ill miss it all.
Kak Tina: she is like family. without her we are doomed. ill miss the fresh clean cloths that i don't have to do myself daily, ur "i'm always right" attitude (funny) and the mouth-watering sambal tempe and appam. ill miss it if i go far. *drool*
Noreen: i miss partying with you, shopping with you, eating with you, and talking crap with you. u're like a bigger sister i never had. u were always there for me. thank you. i will definitely and surely miss you.
but whatever it is, just pray i go somewhere cool, the best, safe and beautiful. So this sem's resolution is to score; dean's list or more and make the best out of all things. *cross-fingers* Amin.
XOXO
Monday, December 01, 2008
urghhh
langkawi is amazingly beautiful and the sand is exceptionally gorgeous. i want to spend the rest of my time on the beach here. and there, people thought we do not have sandy white beaches. langkawi says it all. im in love. joe, lets go! i want a getaway with you here. :)
results are sucky. no elaboration.
ma, im sorry. *big hug*
results are sucky. no elaboration.
ma, im sorry. *big hug*
Thursday, November 13, 2008
yada-yada
Who’s the funniest drunk person you know?
myself… really! I get real stupid. *grin*
How did you feel when you woke up? this morning?
With a smiling face thinking what a great day today would be.
How is your hair?
messy. I like.
Name something great that happened Friday?
ermm….i had all the people I love around me. My family and my friends in the same day.
When was the last time you saw your father?
this morning before he left for work
Do you like your life as of now?
no…its depressing. Exams!
Anything you want someone to realize?
yes of course! Open your eyes and look at me already. Damn.
Do you regret doing something in the past week?
yes, not studying extra hard.
Have you ever been kissed by a person thats name starts with J?
hahahahha this is a good one! Lets figure…
Do you drink coffee?
yes I do…
Do you crack your knuckles?
every once in awhile
What is your most recent accomplishment?
sleeping til 5pm..wanted to do that for the longest time really.
Does anyone call you babe or baby?
*grin*
Last thing you drank?
water
What were you doing yesterday at midnight?
drinking with my cousins at home… and eating laksa sarawak
What can’t you wait for?
holiday, korea trip, road trip with the girls and bla bla
What do you currently hear?
the thunder outside
Who was the last person’s voice you heard over the phone?
my dad
Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor?
nope but if u consider sleeping in the bathroom the same then yes.
What was the highlight of your week?
exams. Exams and more of it. boringgg
When is your birthday?
June 13th
Do you get along with girls?
yes. Why not?
Do you like surprises?
think so.
Plans for this weekend?
dad’s birthday, mama and myra is coming! Completion…
Are you listening to any music?
yes…
It’s 4 in the morning, your phone rings?
yeah so?
When was the last time you laughed really hard?
last night. Oh thank you, you two…
Where did you get the shorts/pants you are wearing?
from seeds. hahahha
How tall are you?
5’5” or 6”…
Do you ever keep arguing even when you know you’re wrong?
maybe
When is the next time you will see your grandma?
never.. she passed
Do you have or want any piercings?
I do but want more esp on the nose
What are your plans for the future?
korea in 2 weeks, road trip with the girls in dec, langkawi for new year, maybe in may off to oz
Have you ever set foot in a tanning bed?
nope..dont need it
What’s the last time you watched a hockey game?
like never?
Have you ever bought/sold anything on Ebay?
nope..
Do you know the Souldja Boy dance?
yeah…the funny one!
What is your favorite number?
13
Favorite sport to watch in the summer Olympics?
track, swimming, gymnastic and current favourite is volleyball.
Ever flushed a fish?
nope…not that dumb!
Do you recycle?
sometimes
Do you make your bed everyday?
of course!
What do you spend most your money on?
food. I love ‘em food
How many pillows do you sleep with?
like 6?
Got anything to do today?
dinner with dad.
Peppermint or spearmint?
none
Who came over last?
no one..i went over my cousins’
What was the last movie you watched at home?
cant remember…
Who introduced you to your boyfriend/girlfriend?
the club. hahahahha
What kind of milk do you drink?
skim milk!
myself… really! I get real stupid. *grin*
How did you feel when you woke up? this morning?
With a smiling face thinking what a great day today would be.
How is your hair?
messy. I like.
Name something great that happened Friday?
ermm….i had all the people I love around me. My family and my friends in the same day.
When was the last time you saw your father?
this morning before he left for work
Do you like your life as of now?
no…its depressing. Exams!
Anything you want someone to realize?
yes of course! Open your eyes and look at me already. Damn.
Do you regret doing something in the past week?
yes, not studying extra hard.
Have you ever been kissed by a person thats name starts with J?
hahahahha this is a good one! Lets figure…
Do you drink coffee?
yes I do…
Do you crack your knuckles?
every once in awhile
What is your most recent accomplishment?
sleeping til 5pm..wanted to do that for the longest time really.
Does anyone call you babe or baby?
*grin*
Last thing you drank?
water
What were you doing yesterday at midnight?
drinking with my cousins at home… and eating laksa sarawak
What can’t you wait for?
holiday, korea trip, road trip with the girls and bla bla
What do you currently hear?
the thunder outside
Who was the last person’s voice you heard over the phone?
my dad
Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor?
nope but if u consider sleeping in the bathroom the same then yes.
What was the highlight of your week?
exams. Exams and more of it. boringgg
When is your birthday?
June 13th
Do you get along with girls?
yes. Why not?
Do you like surprises?
think so.
Plans for this weekend?
dad’s birthday, mama and myra is coming! Completion…
Are you listening to any music?
yes…
It’s 4 in the morning, your phone rings?
yeah so?
When was the last time you laughed really hard?
last night. Oh thank you, you two…
Where did you get the shorts/pants you are wearing?
from seeds. hahahha
How tall are you?
5’5” or 6”…
Do you ever keep arguing even when you know you’re wrong?
maybe
When is the next time you will see your grandma?
never.. she passed
Do you have or want any piercings?
I do but want more esp on the nose
What are your plans for the future?
korea in 2 weeks, road trip with the girls in dec, langkawi for new year, maybe in may off to oz
Have you ever set foot in a tanning bed?
nope..dont need it
What’s the last time you watched a hockey game?
like never?
Have you ever bought/sold anything on Ebay?
nope..
Do you know the Souldja Boy dance?
yeah…the funny one!
What is your favorite number?
13
Favorite sport to watch in the summer Olympics?
track, swimming, gymnastic and current favourite is volleyball.
Ever flushed a fish?
nope…not that dumb!
Do you recycle?
sometimes
Do you make your bed everyday?
of course!
What do you spend most your money on?
food. I love ‘em food
How many pillows do you sleep with?
like 6?
Got anything to do today?
dinner with dad.
Peppermint or spearmint?
none
Who came over last?
no one..i went over my cousins’
What was the last movie you watched at home?
cant remember…
Who introduced you to your boyfriend/girlfriend?
the club. hahahahha
What kind of milk do you drink?
skim milk!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
its them, and has always been
one night...
NL: i love you both.... :)
NN: but i love isk!
DW: can i love myself ah? hehehehhe
NL: i dont care i still love you both... *GRIN*
NN & DW: u cannot love 2 person at a time. its called cheating. JB?
NL: if thats called cheating...then ive cheated all along. cause ive always been in love with both of you! ahhh who cares?
*thinking...i've always loved the family. its unity, its bond, the endless love within, its odd ways of expressing and acting, the ranjak-ness, the care....nevertheless they are still the coolest. no matter what others say, love has been carved for them through bad times and good times. this is the thick blood.
xoxo
NL: i love you both.... :)
NN: but i love isk!
DW: can i love myself ah? hehehehhe
NL: i dont care i still love you both... *GRIN*
NN & DW: u cannot love 2 person at a time. its called cheating. JB?
NL: if thats called cheating...then ive cheated all along. cause ive always been in love with both of you! ahhh who cares?
*thinking...i've always loved the family. its unity, its bond, the endless love within, its odd ways of expressing and acting, the ranjak-ness, the care....nevertheless they are still the coolest. no matter what others say, love has been carved for them through bad times and good times. this is the thick blood.
xoxo
Thursday, September 04, 2008
closure
if i am or was at WRONG. tell it to my face. don't go complain to anyone else but me. if you're too chickened out to tell me face to face, there are many ways of communicating in our diverse world today. thanks to technologies. go ahead pick and choose.
if i am BAD, don't say its because of somebody else's influence. its all me. don't blame it on my parents, my siblings, my friends or even MY COUSIN. its me. and please don't say nasty things about them. cause YOU don't know them well enough like I do. be sensible.
if i am so IMPOSSIBLE to be with, why say you stay forever in the first place? just let me be in the shadows of not knowing. let me await the moment for the FOREVER-ness to kick in; when or where ever it shall happen. im happier by knowing someone is learning to love or loves me in the present even if it means NOT forever.
if im ever a bad FRIEND to anyone or not worth being friends with, leave me and go find other people who can love and treat you well cause honestly you're doing justice to yourself and me. save us all the trouble of bickering and bitching about. i don't want to fight anymore.
if ever you wished that im the PERFECT daughter for you, im sorry to disagree or to be the total opposite. i have my flaws but nevertheless i know for sure i love you more than anything. please don't brag about me, don't fret about me, don't compare me, but just love me for being me. i hope one day when you see that, you will learn to appreciate what im doing for you before, now and than.
if one day you realise that every thing i say is a LIE and im SELFISH, on that day promise me (each and everyone of you) that you move away from me cause the last thing i want to do is to hurt everyone of you by lying or just being the STUPID me.
have a delightful life. im ok. :)
if i am BAD, don't say its because of somebody else's influence. its all me. don't blame it on my parents, my siblings, my friends or even MY COUSIN. its me. and please don't say nasty things about them. cause YOU don't know them well enough like I do. be sensible.
if i am so IMPOSSIBLE to be with, why say you stay forever in the first place? just let me be in the shadows of not knowing. let me await the moment for the FOREVER-ness to kick in; when or where ever it shall happen. im happier by knowing someone is learning to love or loves me in the present even if it means NOT forever.
if im ever a bad FRIEND to anyone or not worth being friends with, leave me and go find other people who can love and treat you well cause honestly you're doing justice to yourself and me. save us all the trouble of bickering and bitching about. i don't want to fight anymore.
if ever you wished that im the PERFECT daughter for you, im sorry to disagree or to be the total opposite. i have my flaws but nevertheless i know for sure i love you more than anything. please don't brag about me, don't fret about me, don't compare me, but just love me for being me. i hope one day when you see that, you will learn to appreciate what im doing for you before, now and than.
if one day you realise that every thing i say is a LIE and im SELFISH, on that day promise me (each and everyone of you) that you move away from me cause the last thing i want to do is to hurt everyone of you by lying or just being the STUPID me.
have a delightful life. im ok. :)
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