Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Craking Brain

Crying is something good for a reason i dunno how to explain. crying for me is the best medicine as i can recall back towards all the things that occured in my life...enough crap..reality here..yeah ok!

today was crappy in many odd ways...woke up every hour since wandy's last call last night till the crack of dawn. dunno whats wrong with me.the only thing i want to do at that precise moment is to soak myself in hot water so i can feel good bout myself again. when to have a bath around 9 before going to my first class of the day. it was ok.nearly shed a tear when my ustazah talked bout KEBESARAN ALLAH. didnt know why but my heart just ache a thousand bits per sec. it just touches me to the deepest core but gain back my strengh to wash the tears away. i feel neglected and so lonely...the emptiness space is getting bigger.

~~LUNCH~~

after lunch everything came back to normal...not really but yeah it was quite ok. slept thru the 2 hours gap between classes and wandy called so tears fell at the right place and i felt good afterwards. after waking up i walked to class early than usual. was still down cause the loneliness hasnt gone completely away from me but im copping. i was the first to arrive in class even if i took about 10mins to finally reach my class. stairs. stairs. stairs. tiring actually but how to complain right? my classmates started to come to class at 230pm. no big deal. hours after that i became normal once again. laughing, cracking jokes n yada yada.

as for now i feel lonely again..i seriously need a counselor..but not someone from my uni for one thing. no way hozey. anyways i guess thats about all...im going to go back to my room now n rest. but before that i maybe (i repeat) maybe go indulge myself with food. my bestfriend in the whole wide world.

toodles...i love the beautiful world...


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