i wonder.....

at the very last moment u always wonder what it would be like if u had done something differently. i always do. im in the central of emotions now. i preach about love and how to handle it in a proper way but i dont act as what i preach. I guess being a preacher aint that easy huh? yesterday was a mark of victory... manage to persuade something to do something. but dont ask me what's the something. im never telling. relationships for me are going strong. love each other so much. yet lotsa hassle bassle along the way.

what i wish? something good in return for what ever sacrfices ive met. rollercoaster going round and round and i feel dizzy. but yet im alright. things are mounting up. piling every day per inch. im drowning in my own thoughts. i know this post sounds depressing. but i know also that im not depress nor unhappy. im just being normal. trying hard to express in a way that my thoughts doesnt hurt myself nor others. i love life. i thought its sucky. but for real, its full of miracle and magnificent things that has yet to be explored. see the sun, we only use the effect of light and heat..but the particles? its beyond reach. the moon shines so brightly every mid-month and lovers intwinned themselves towards it. a mark of love n embrace. how i wish my days are full of that. but im happy as it is. i dont need changes if it isnt for the best. i just need love. its spelled easily but to obtain n cherish it will be one mighty job. i guess i have never appreciate love. not in my life before or now. i take things for granted. but im happy.

so who's selfish? i am. no other people can match that up. i keep loosing..but i gain. that is what makes me confident everything can be earn over and over again. i guess i just realise my mistake when its actually gone. when the love never shines anymore, when the sweet melody dreads the song, when the birds stop chirping to the sun, and when the moon seems so dim for the first time. Have u ever felt that way? i know i did. i know i got depress over it. i know i cried. but one thing i do not know...will i change for that matter?? people often say they will. but do they actually do it?

life's so short to wonder and look at the past and regret everything uve done. what we really need to do is grab chances and do our best. walking on a field of corn, u should pick the best corn u see and u can never turn back. so the similarities to life is..once uve missed that special chance of getting the best as u always delay daily the encounter of grabbing it at that precise moment, once uve realised it. its gone. and no way we can turn back and say to life, i just wish i could have gotten a second chance to do it all over again. real life doesnt work that way. thats why humans are full of regrets. live your life to the fullest. and always see your glass half full.

let people love u, care for u, cherish u but never take them for granted or not be appreciative. remember, the cycle of life goes around and may not come back to the very beginning. we may die in the duration, we may have another cycle. we never know. so appreciate people around you. as i am trying my best to....

Lots of love,
Nina