all my misery. all my anxiety. all my worries are partially gone. the hearing has finally ended. and the verdict was out and it turned out ok. even so i feel like a convict that didnt really do anything wrong in my dictionary. but im ok now. no more sleepless night or nightmares. i lost concentration because of this. but ive recovered. and im all good now. full force coming up! im tired...i dont feel like blogging bout this anymore. this sucks. bye.
p/s: i still think love life is just a phase and it will never happen to me. im pretencious.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Movie
Today = Fun
Finally had an outing after so long... well to a shopping mall and doing something fun that is. when to watch a movie. i may sound pathetic or its sad to hear my lack of social life. but thats just it. i dont feel like socializing anymore. i use to love going out and staying out late. Ill only be in the house for sleeping time. but its different these time around. im back to my homely self again. nesting in my comfort zone called home. and its so stress free. not really but its still peaceful. no one bothering me with annoying facts and figures. etc.
oh btw, i watched Hair Spray today with sue, radhi and my sister. this is thanks to sue's suggestion. and it turn out to be INCREDIBLE. ill go watch it for the second time. for sure. infinity kudos for it. KUDOS. KUDOS. KUDOS.
despite the normal daily routine i have, the movie was intriguing. and its fun fun fun fun. thanks!
good night.
Finally had an outing after so long... well to a shopping mall and doing something fun that is. when to watch a movie. i may sound pathetic or its sad to hear my lack of social life. but thats just it. i dont feel like socializing anymore. i use to love going out and staying out late. Ill only be in the house for sleeping time. but its different these time around. im back to my homely self again. nesting in my comfort zone called home. and its so stress free. not really but its still peaceful. no one bothering me with annoying facts and figures. etc.
oh btw, i watched Hair Spray today with sue, radhi and my sister. this is thanks to sue's suggestion. and it turn out to be INCREDIBLE. ill go watch it for the second time. for sure. infinity kudos for it. KUDOS. KUDOS. KUDOS.
despite the normal daily routine i have, the movie was intriguing. and its fun fun fun fun. thanks!
good night.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Dedicated to life with friends...
This is a tribute to life and friends i have...
ok. here's the thing. im sitting in front of my personal PC and thinking of what i have to do next? i did most of the things i have to accomplish today. wake up. checked. took my bath. checked. go to class and break fast with appa. checked. studied. checked. what else is there? so here goes my mind. WONDERING. PONDERING. RESTLESS. so, instead of getting my beauty sleep as i would definately complain about lack of sleep when i have to wake up for class early morning 2moro, im browsing around the net for juicy gossips. not celebrity gossips. just normal earthly people gossip. so i re-read the blogs entries my friends posted dated from a week ago. Its so ironic that when u least expect it, then ure eyes will see the larger picture. my friends are actually undergoing emotional crisis that is unbearable. and where am i? sitting here not comforting them. why? cause i have my own problems to deal with. i may sound selfish. but here's the thing, my soul is too tired to hear stories of others. even if i know i can. but if given a choice i dont want to. not that i want to push people aside and not be with them in the times of need. but i just like my state of ALONE now. just for the time being. sorry....ill be better. dont worry people..i know i will. im strong remember? fit as a bull? teehee... i promise ill be a better friend to all of you.
to my friends that i rely on : daydeck, zahie, mizi, syaza, radhi, sue and kuhaz...
im very thankful that God sent, you beautiful people to me. u have always been there for me. thank you. if ever i create hatred in your big hearts, do tell me cause i am very ignorant at times. to those who are having a hard time with studies and life itself, i hope you guys find your light at the end of the tunnel. i will pray for you people. especially my dearest sue. ure special and dont let things pull you down. and obviously ure not a mediocre. its a bigger sin to think that way! i love you. kuhaz, hang in there ok? ull make big! i believe it so. syaza and radhi; you girls will always be my beautiful anchors. my ship will sink without both of you... i have special thanks and deep love for both of you. mizi: thanks for being the best pal ive got. ure outrageously interesting! *BIG LOVE*
specially for my "idiotic" ida : i know we have been through so much lately that our relationship nearly exploded into tiny bits of pieces once upon a time. but i do cherish you. i just want you to know that. i had great times with you last semester. i didnt know what went wrong. was it me? you? or perhaps it was both. i wasnt nice for me to bitch about you. i know i have sinned. im sorry. but u just got on my nerves in so many extreme ways. i hope ure copping and getting better. i want to see the less insecure, less confused and much of a better grown up IDA. cause u know ure older than us right? i hope you will really make a difference from now on....cause u deserve to be happy. just toss away those negative feelings ok? take care of urself. and cherish your self pride. we love you. i love u. pls care for your own best interest...
wow thats long! and this is tribute to my life... i have so many things to repent for. so many regrets. and so many problems to face. but you know what? im going to take baby steps and make things work. and make life better cause i know i deserve it. i will complain and whine soon enough AGAIN but what fun is there without it right? my life is beautiful. my life is beautiful. my life is very beautiful (chanting it away...) and im going to make it wonderful. variecolours....and having iman. thank you.
to the other people i owe my life to. i have an endless thanks to give out to. and ill be happy when you are. so keep smiling. maybe the world will smile back at you..... :)
The Ink Slinger Herself,
+NinaLiyana+
ok. here's the thing. im sitting in front of my personal PC and thinking of what i have to do next? i did most of the things i have to accomplish today. wake up. checked. took my bath. checked. go to class and break fast with appa. checked. studied. checked. what else is there? so here goes my mind. WONDERING. PONDERING. RESTLESS. so, instead of getting my beauty sleep as i would definately complain about lack of sleep when i have to wake up for class early morning 2moro, im browsing around the net for juicy gossips. not celebrity gossips. just normal earthly people gossip. so i re-read the blogs entries my friends posted dated from a week ago. Its so ironic that when u least expect it, then ure eyes will see the larger picture. my friends are actually undergoing emotional crisis that is unbearable. and where am i? sitting here not comforting them. why? cause i have my own problems to deal with. i may sound selfish. but here's the thing, my soul is too tired to hear stories of others. even if i know i can. but if given a choice i dont want to. not that i want to push people aside and not be with them in the times of need. but i just like my state of ALONE now. just for the time being. sorry....ill be better. dont worry people..i know i will. im strong remember? fit as a bull? teehee... i promise ill be a better friend to all of you.
to my friends that i rely on : daydeck, zahie, mizi, syaza, radhi, sue and kuhaz...
im very thankful that God sent, you beautiful people to me. u have always been there for me. thank you. if ever i create hatred in your big hearts, do tell me cause i am very ignorant at times. to those who are having a hard time with studies and life itself, i hope you guys find your light at the end of the tunnel. i will pray for you people. especially my dearest sue. ure special and dont let things pull you down. and obviously ure not a mediocre. its a bigger sin to think that way! i love you. kuhaz, hang in there ok? ull make big! i believe it so. syaza and radhi; you girls will always be my beautiful anchors. my ship will sink without both of you... i have special thanks and deep love for both of you. mizi: thanks for being the best pal ive got. ure outrageously interesting! *BIG LOVE*
specially for my "idiotic" ida : i know we have been through so much lately that our relationship nearly exploded into tiny bits of pieces once upon a time. but i do cherish you. i just want you to know that. i had great times with you last semester. i didnt know what went wrong. was it me? you? or perhaps it was both. i wasnt nice for me to bitch about you. i know i have sinned. im sorry. but u just got on my nerves in so many extreme ways. i hope ure copping and getting better. i want to see the less insecure, less confused and much of a better grown up IDA. cause u know ure older than us right? i hope you will really make a difference from now on....cause u deserve to be happy. just toss away those negative feelings ok? take care of urself. and cherish your self pride. we love you. i love u. pls care for your own best interest...
wow thats long! and this is tribute to my life... i have so many things to repent for. so many regrets. and so many problems to face. but you know what? im going to take baby steps and make things work. and make life better cause i know i deserve it. i will complain and whine soon enough AGAIN but what fun is there without it right? my life is beautiful. my life is beautiful. my life is very beautiful (chanting it away...) and im going to make it wonderful. variecolours....and having iman. thank you.
to the other people i owe my life to. i have an endless thanks to give out to. and ill be happy when you are. so keep smiling. maybe the world will smile back at you..... :)
The Ink Slinger Herself,
+NinaLiyana+
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Representing, David Sides....
This is techinically the best pianist ive encountered. Check out how he immitates the piece. Aiyah why arent i born with the talent? *envy* check out David Sides playing "Ciara-Like A boy" on the piano...there are more to this...but this is simply my favourite!
ENJOY!!!!!
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Cant Leave Just Yet
Good Evening earthlings. Ramadhan Mubarak!
life has been a real rollercoaster lately. not complaining cause its bad or leaping with joy cause its beautiful. but its perfectly nice. im feeling well rested, content and happy. i just lied. *sigh* i dont feel all that at all. well not wholely. why me? why me? why me? God, this conversation has always played in my head ever since i know what defines "men". it is never a sweet escape nor a fairy tale. maybe just the initial part but there's no gurantee it will last. why i say this? through past experience of course. *duhhh* will i always type or narrate things like this? im sick of it!
....now im convinced maybe there is no certain soulmate for everyone. maybe it slipped God's mind to create one for me. cause the ones that hooks up with me are just junks. its either they are not satisfied with me or the other way around. but im easily pleased you know. i just want the basics, but they give me lousy relationship. is it my fault? tell me it is. so i know....no offence to my past lovers, some are great. but most just make me end up miserable.
Oh ya, Updates:
im seeing and talking to joe again.....
not that we were at war or some sort before hand. we just parted for awhile. but we clicked back during this past week. dont get me wrong. im not looking for a relationship. just a good friend. So yeah we went out, had dinner, and the usual innocent outings. Ah how wonderful it was to have someone to talk to that really understands. I forgot how much fun i always have around him. I cherish you...im serious. Even when i use to fight with mama because of him, but he is the being that makes me smile. ALWAYS. through my tears, tantrum and dramas he always had ways to cheer me up. thats the beauty of it. :)
other updates of life is...
everybody else is happy. Daydeck found herself her other half or completion. im happy for you darling. some of my friends are already united in holy matrimony and its nice to see happy faces. My friends at college are having a hard time doing course works. so am i. but i bet they are happy in their own little ways. Zahie is busy going for sampling, and doing her thesis on her beloved bulbul. At least she likes what she does. so yeah..im happy for her too. at least i have a reason to be happy. My brother Asyraf found himself a partner too. and she turned out to be OK. mama disagree because she thinks its too early. but i think its ok. so cheers brother! *victory dance* for you... and my sister is quite content with her life. so is my parents as they manage to make me not date. hehehe but im ok. SO EVERYBODY IS HAPPY! good. finally.
i just want my dream bad boy. then ill be fine. but he is leaving....good luck in studies! come back a star!!!!
take care everyone... and have a pleasant life.
current mood song : Ciara ft 50Cent - Cant Leave 'Em Alone
+NinaLiyana+
life has been a real rollercoaster lately. not complaining cause its bad or leaping with joy cause its beautiful. but its perfectly nice. im feeling well rested, content and happy. i just lied. *sigh* i dont feel all that at all. well not wholely. why me? why me? why me? God, this conversation has always played in my head ever since i know what defines "men". it is never a sweet escape nor a fairy tale. maybe just the initial part but there's no gurantee it will last. why i say this? through past experience of course. *duhhh* will i always type or narrate things like this? im sick of it!
....now im convinced maybe there is no certain soulmate for everyone. maybe it slipped God's mind to create one for me. cause the ones that hooks up with me are just junks. its either they are not satisfied with me or the other way around. but im easily pleased you know. i just want the basics, but they give me lousy relationship. is it my fault? tell me it is. so i know....no offence to my past lovers, some are great. but most just make me end up miserable.
Oh ya, Updates:
im seeing and talking to joe again.....
not that we were at war or some sort before hand. we just parted for awhile. but we clicked back during this past week. dont get me wrong. im not looking for a relationship. just a good friend. So yeah we went out, had dinner, and the usual innocent outings. Ah how wonderful it was to have someone to talk to that really understands. I forgot how much fun i always have around him. I cherish you...im serious. Even when i use to fight with mama because of him, but he is the being that makes me smile. ALWAYS. through my tears, tantrum and dramas he always had ways to cheer me up. thats the beauty of it. :)
other updates of life is...
everybody else is happy. Daydeck found herself her other half or completion. im happy for you darling. some of my friends are already united in holy matrimony and its nice to see happy faces. My friends at college are having a hard time doing course works. so am i. but i bet they are happy in their own little ways. Zahie is busy going for sampling, and doing her thesis on her beloved bulbul. At least she likes what she does. so yeah..im happy for her too. at least i have a reason to be happy. My brother Asyraf found himself a partner too. and she turned out to be OK. mama disagree because she thinks its too early. but i think its ok. so cheers brother! *victory dance* for you... and my sister is quite content with her life. so is my parents as they manage to make me not date. hehehe but im ok. SO EVERYBODY IS HAPPY! good. finally.
i just want my dream bad boy. then ill be fine. but he is leaving....good luck in studies! come back a star!!!!
take care everyone... and have a pleasant life.
current mood song : Ciara ft 50Cent - Cant Leave 'Em Alone
+NinaLiyana+
Monday, September 03, 2007
Life Oh Life
Things has been rather slow. days are slower when there's no one around to spin it for you. this is my 4th day of sem-break and im complaining. geez i need a life. i miss home. i miss my family. i miss my comfort zone. im not saying life is entirely lame and boring. but mom and sister just went back this afternoon and i hate the feeling of emptiness and blank. its only 1 hour and 45minutes plane ride to go home. but the impossible-ness of it makes it so frustrating. time is the defactor.
i know i have things to do...lots of it in fact but i cant get myself up to do it. because im dumb. hah! i have a presentation due next week and a report due on the 19th. and why am i not doing my research? cause i told you. im dumb. my head is spinning rather rapidly now. and while im thinking that my stomach is lurching. darn i dont know what to do. today must be the most boring day of my life. everybody seemed to be paired up somewhere enjoying the holidays. sarah and munshi went to PD being lovey-dovey. dont get me wrong. im not envious. mayb i sound like it. but i am not. seriously. im totally happy. but i want it to. i desperately want my boyfriend here. i want my memory of our trip to Sematan to re-collect. i want to soak myself under the sun, playing in the deep waters with him and just sit on the beach looking at him swim. nature begins within. and i know that now.
other than my immaculate and pathetic life cycle. other things has been developed for the past week. my friendship with a particular being has developed a new leaf. im glad. but i hope this is a beginning of a wonderful end. i dont want to fight nor be depress over things anymore. so be it. im happy. and i hope they are no more parasites in this world that would destroy a beautiful relationship. but ill miss the rows thou. tee hee.
to end; HAPPY 50TH MERDEKA MALAYSIA. you're indeed my home and the integration is a true nature. i love YOU! -this is for the date of 31st August 2007
with much love,
NinaLiyana
i know i have things to do...lots of it in fact but i cant get myself up to do it. because im dumb. hah! i have a presentation due next week and a report due on the 19th. and why am i not doing my research? cause i told you. im dumb. my head is spinning rather rapidly now. and while im thinking that my stomach is lurching. darn i dont know what to do. today must be the most boring day of my life. everybody seemed to be paired up somewhere enjoying the holidays. sarah and munshi went to PD being lovey-dovey. dont get me wrong. im not envious. mayb i sound like it. but i am not. seriously. im totally happy. but i want it to. i desperately want my boyfriend here. i want my memory of our trip to Sematan to re-collect. i want to soak myself under the sun, playing in the deep waters with him and just sit on the beach looking at him swim. nature begins within. and i know that now.
other than my immaculate and pathetic life cycle. other things has been developed for the past week. my friendship with a particular being has developed a new leaf. im glad. but i hope this is a beginning of a wonderful end. i dont want to fight nor be depress over things anymore. so be it. im happy. and i hope they are no more parasites in this world that would destroy a beautiful relationship. but ill miss the rows thou. tee hee.
to end; HAPPY 50TH MERDEKA MALAYSIA. you're indeed my home and the integration is a true nature. i love YOU! -this is for the date of 31st August 2007
with much love,
NinaLiyana
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