"If God Made You"

Hey Kid... Your time has come to change
Though I need you more than I've needed anyone in any way tonight
Hey Kid... I know it won't be long
The Captain's calling...come to see you back where we belong

Something inside me is breaking
Something inside says there's somewhere better than this...

Sunset sailing on April skies
Bloodshot fire clouds in her eyes
I can't say what I might believe
But if God made you he's in love with me

Hey Kid...Do wishes count at all
Can you give me a sign...give me anything I won't tell a soul you told
Hey Kid...Will you hold me when I sleep
Will you find me when the tide decides that I got to leave

Something inside me is breaking
Something inside says there's somewhere better than this...

Sunset sailing on April skies
Bloodshot fire clouds in her eyes
I can't say what I might believe
But if God made you he's in love with me

Sunset sailing on April skies
Bloodshot fire clouds in your eyes
I can't say what I might believe
But if God made you he's in love with me

Something inside me is breaking
Something inside says there's somewhere better than this my love

Sunset sailing on April skies
Bloodshot fire clouds in her eyes
I can't say what I might believe
But if God made you he's in love with me

Sunset sailing on April skies
Bloodshot fire clouds in your eyes
I can't say what I might believe
But if God made you... he's in love with me...

By,
Five For Fighting

writing my retarded self...

im miserable. im depress. but somehow i can see the light at the end of the tunnel. the light is dimming but i can still see it. how can he be so cruel? how can he not feel the void like i do? but it has always been about a HE. why cant it be something else that im sadden of. why should it be a HE? im sick of games. im sick of dissaproves. and forbidden love is reflected as the best of all. you know why? cause its simply irresistable. and the anxiety u get out of it is pure satisfaction. but in the end it was doomed. this is my modern romeo and juliet story. but at least romeo and juliet were looked up to as one of the best love story of life. mine? just a monochrome of it. i wish it was simplier...i really do. but somehow its not. life oh life. i will miss those moments. but oll live it thru. as what a favourite saying of myself..."some are just not meant to be...." im strong. i can do it! but i never regret knowing you. The HE that showed me how to live a fun life and not think of anything but happiness. but things changed. and its a sad change. but i will always remember you. yeah i will. cause finally someone made me cry the dry tears. a big deal in my dictionary. im happy you found someone else...and thank you for being mine for those little times...*hugs&kisses*

My 21st....

MY INVITATION CARD

Turning 21 is one of the occasion that you would want to share with the rest of the world. well, in my case it was just that. i was happy with everything. i had a wonderful party that turned out to be the best thing ever! puuuurrrrrfeeeccttttt! i celebrated with my whole family and lovely friends. and to them i have to thank. for brightening my birthday this year more. there is a list of people i could never say enough thank you-s to, but here it goes...

firstly, thank you mama for everything. from the huge amount of bills to having to tahan with me making so much tantrum at home due to "stress". i thought it only happened to brides but i had anxiety attack of course. *hahahah* to appa, thank you for being the person who made it possible for me to look good that night. the arrival of shoes and jewelleries at the precise moment. to aunty kiah, the bead work was wonderful! thank you.

and special thanks i convey to my hardworking cousin cum party planner; kak nina for making this possible to pull off within a week. i feel your stress too. but i know u loved every bit of it! and to her brother iskandar thanks for the incredible mixture of so many drinks that i now have forgotten their names as ive gotten so drunk that night. but it was all so damn good. if i ever open a club you will definately hear from me! *as if la kan...*

to my friend mizie, oh gosh i can never thank you enough. you helped me go thru everything. thanks a lot chap! i sooo loveee you. from my disastrous pinata to the shopping spree of my dress. *smiles*

to my BROTHER, ure so wonderful that u pulled together a band just for the sake of me having a band to play within short notice. not forgetting the endless time u had to practice to make sure the songs are perfect. im so sorry i had to be an ass to u. but i so love you! thank you. to the band thank you too. and my little sister thanks for helping me out with the preparation of my invitation cards. ure the most silent person i know in the world that dont even grumble when i asked so many things of you. thank you sis. i love you.

my friend radhi, ure the bomb girl! thanks for designing my invitation. u definately know me in and out. i likkkeee! emma, thanks for being a good spot when i need to have few laughs during the week and being a good company while shopping.

kak ma, the tuak was fantastic! we had more of it in sematan thou...hehehe ure the best! yasmine, ure a good niece! uve been the one that helped me in times of crisis. thanks for being there at the right time.

and to the lovely chef melvin who have made my cake a wonderful one. its my dream cake and its yummylicious....wooohooo!

lets see, to my family from my aunties, uncles and all my cousins and nieces-nephews, thanks for celebrating my birthday with me and made it a memoriable day. dear friends, you all made it a night to remember! just for coming. to those who got sloshed...i bet u will never forget the day huh? kekeke Not forgetting to those who gave me presents. thank you. i love each and every one of it. *grin* i feel like a small kid all over again. teeheee.

oh ya, special tribute to my mr roy montana. thank you for taking care and being my personal body guard that night. from driving me to the hotel and also taking me home safely. i know i was a serious mess for u to take care but i appreciate you helping. thank you....

if i forget anyone im so sorry. my memory is not functioning so well. as a summary, the party was a blast. and thanks to each and every one of YOU. i love you guys heaps! and do check out the pictures and videos through my multiply. thank you again....

The One and Only Me.....

My Birthday...

it all started like any other ordinary birthdays everyone has. u know, the basic wishes and calls from loved ones when they are far away. and i like the old traditional way. cause its feels familiar. thank you to those who wished me on my birthday. im really flattered. it means a lot. *smiles*

ok the interesting part is yet to be revealed. as the time goes by yesterday, it ticks slowly. woke up at the slightest creek of sound. the renovation sound...*dum dum* so my day started early! and then the rest of the day just pass by like any other normal days. only at 12midnight (eve of my birthday) was my the ultimate possesion. my friends waited for the clock to strike 12, to wish me happy...and im glad you guys were there. *hugs&kisses* coming back to the story during the day...well, nothing happen la. it passed just like that. Mom brought me for lunch, and the day continued to be the same again. until just now...where 2 of my friends came to have dinner with me. and as usual, i dont eat! "have to get ready for the big day!!!" to cut the long story short...i like the story of-just now. cause....i feel special. he likes. *grin* ok. im done narrating...ask me about it....doodles! and goodnight.

p/s: im nervous for friday...hopefully its all ok.

Lots of Love,
Nina

MONDAY

im happy...being being happy. and me mama said me can go go to the beachy! yeay! and there comes the interesting part...................me and frenzy all going. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

me likeyyy

today is a cool day. i like today. and i feel its a blooming day....a start of a different story. and particularly a happy one...IM HAPPYYYYYYY! lets be merry....i like!

my retarded brain

u dazzle my days with your smile, and you sparkle my nights with your face in my dreams. how i wish i could hold you and never let go. how i wish it was ok to do just that. but its not. not in your eyes i think. i miss you everyday... *sigh* and i wonder if you know it. i want to talk to you everyday..but i wonder if u would mind...i want to see you 24/7. but is that ok too? one day maybe ill tell you this. but the day would have to wait. cause losing you is far worst then keeping this feeling lock inside. so love, i wish u merry! and i will wait til the day both of us are totally readyyyy......

Lots of Love,
Nina

A friend...

i didnt know ure sick...and u didnt even tell me? why? what a bad person i can be...and far worst i took it for granted that everybody is ok....cause i tot it would be just like that. and because i tot nobody would be far worst than i could be...im sorry. im wrong. i wasnt there for you, never was and i didnt even bother to check on you.....im truly sorry.

IMPORTANT!!!!

to my family and those who came with us on the trip! do help yourself to some of the china pictures ive posted on multiply!! its on the left handside....so enjoy! if u want the fullversion (softcopy) tell me aight!

*hugs&kisses*

AMANINA

The Trip

ok lets see what i have insight for you people. came back from china yesterday at 430am. and it was a tiring journey. had to travel from shanghai to hangzhou back and that took us 4hours to reach cause we had to take the immediate flight from hangzhou to kuching. (thanks to the idea of chartering the plane!! geez) and that is another 5hours. in total we travelled more than 10hours. darn it was tiring! and i definately stink! hehe despite all the bus travel and sight seeing to all those different different gardens and historic places, china was not so bad. minus the food and toilet condition lah. it can be an ideal gateaway for shoppers though. i just wish we had more time to shop. i would have bought more and for everyone. but im happy with my buy. finally i shopped for myself. and for my new bedroom! woohoooo... and ive spent all my working money on it. and im satisfied. *smiles*

so, in summarization my china trip is...

family fun + family gossips + group pictures at all those weird places + shopping + sightseeing + disastrous food + gruesome toilets + hilarious tour guide + me being happy = MY CHINA!

p/s: too bad i didnt get to see any hot dudes on the street...i wonder where they went!?

p/p/s: to my cousins, do check our pictures on my multiply. ill be uploading it soon. miss u guys much! mwahs

nina
xoxo

HardDrive

ok, remember those days when you would just sit down with few close friends and everything feels so ultimately right? just a friendly chat, from sitting by the road side, to the old chang kee "kedai kopi" or this most glamorous cafe with the small touch of luxury? well, i still remember those innocent days. not to mention money rolled out of pockets as we may sit down there for hours just to pass time. but it was the best. and i want those times to recollect. it has the undeniable feel of security and happiness. and the only thing we talk about is...."ermmm..let me see, everything?!" *LOL* those were the daysss...

reminiscing through the lovely time of family trips. we've been all over and yet we cant get enough of ourselves. from the immediate family to the very furthest of relationship. we love everyone in a similar way. thats to the max. we get on everybody's nerve once in awhile. but thats what families are for. we bitch about one another and we attempt to kill each other slowly by the word of "wisdom." NOT! but life since small have been fun because of the trips. its been a look forward thing to. and its been 4years since i had a big gateaway with the whole family. and im looking forward to this china trip. it will be another long row of quarrelling, yelling and shouting. and bad mouthing, and who will pay the excess luggage due to, too much shopping but its all good in the end. because we love each other and we are together. despite what everyone may think of us, we are united. thick blood is never to be chopped. so my family, here we go! and let this be a blast.

while writing this post, i got a call. a baby is crying through the ear piece. and from that moment i know my cousin just gave birth. thank god both are safe as we were worried the previous night when the embrical cord was around the baby's neck...but they are fine. fit as a bull. welcome to the family dearest prince! we will surely treat you as one. i wonder how it feels to give birth. its so nice to suddenly have something you own. and nobody can take it away. to see those cute little baby fingers and toes...with his first smile or cry when he sees you. oh how adorable. i cant wait to have a kid of my own. it would be the best ever thing happening to me. not that im saying im ready now, but the idea sure looks tempting. but i know my journey in life is unfinished. until i get what ive dreamed of, i wont embark into that just yet. babies will be the completion of my life. "Pelengkap hidupku..." aiyer thats "jiwang."

life as teens and young adults are always complicated. im experiencing it now. from the love damage, head damage, heart flip flops, rows with family members, fashion victim or icon, to the "it" group, and the list goes onn..... but who cares for all those? just be urself, like i always convince myself and hear my mom advise me, but how can you? when the rest of the world population is thinking in that way? there are so many books written on the subject. i once saw my cousin reading a book. and honestly i think its pathetic. the title is "how to be popular..." what the f*ck? do we really need to read all this shit? i know some self-help books are pretty awesome and it works. but this particular one im skeptical of. and i feel bad if someone thinks she is lesser than another if she's not popular. popularity is to be earned not bought. and different people will have different popularity. if u want a socialite life, make sure u be one. but dont be something ure not. doing things just to impress another being is just dreadful and a waste of time. im sick and tired of people telling me, no ure not good for this, hey, you should do this. screw it. im doing things my way. and who can stop me? only myself. im on a petition of self happiness. and who is with me?!!?? im happy...so let it be. dont disturb my teritory. cause it is totally restrcited to parasites, wananbe, fakers, and dishonest people. be true to yourself. and one day you'll find the rightful happiness.

*cross-fingers* hoping mine is going to work...

its been a wild ride. im stopping something for good. and i hope ill have the strength to do just that. welcome to the world of dellusion.

NinaLiyana

my own misery....

you know, i never thought today may come. ive always had dreams about it. since i was very little. i wake up in tears sometimes thinking of what ive just dreamed. unfortunately the day came. this is what i call a phase of change. its a total 360deg turning zone. i dont blame anyone for whatever that is happening or about to happen. they have their own reason why they choose to do something. the hardest part is never to feel that love again. or even feel the warm touch of someone uve known your whole life. and also to know they have stop loving you. one day, ill be like them. but hopefully i will never have to make decisions like this upon anyone. im so sorry for whatever that has happened. i never meant to be the person who ruins the bond. but i just did. and for that i have a whole lifetime to regret it. goodnight my heartlovers. i will always miss you. *virtual hug*

Love,
Nina

all because of you

i never thought the day would come. but it did. i will always remember the date 31st March 2007. its a day of memories. the day he says he loves me for the very first time. thank you for making the feeling happen. this a beautiful beginning. *smiles* despite what ever happens from now, this is going to be my fantasy of a lifetime. one day if this relation fails, this is the memory ill remember to keep me smiling. my love, my obsession. and obviously, i love you too.

p/s: my dad met him today....i wonder whats playing in their heads.


Love,
Nina

rock on with life

theres no time for sappiness, theres no time for regrets, but there is always time for fun-filling activities. yes? for the past few weeks life was actually a wild rollercoaster ride. i didnt expect it to be so much fun but it was. and ironically i like it.

people fall in and out of love, and no one can ever predict when the true love comes around until uve finally lost it to this big big dellusional world.

ive come across 2 person that are trying to live life separately and act like they dont need each other but in actual fact they do. the signals and symptoms are so obvious. they match each other perfectly in so many ways but why is it so hard to be one? they get jealous of each other, they hate each other in so many cute ways, and they just have this sparkles around them that will set them on fire any minute. thats the hotness of that relationship.

well from my perspective of mind, sometimes what we see is deceiving. and we may think it could work but it wouldnt, but when we think it wouldnt it would. some people can look like they complete each other but in other fact they are just so wrong....im not trying to be a negativist. but this are facts.

one day ill find MY mr right. love is too complicated when someone plays game within. so, ill just sit back relax and pretend i dont need it. soon it'll gradually falls. maybe this is the phase im waiting my whole lifetime for. but i wouldnt dare bet everything on it. cause its too early to say. people change, people lie, people stop loving, people stop caring. i hope you wont. for now, i fell for you because of YOU! the person i look up to....come back fast....

+Nina the Gorgeousness+

Got Tagged

Each player of this game starts off with ten weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own ten weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose six people to be tagged and list their names. No tagbacks!

1- ok i dont have anything weird to say bout myself cause im not weird. weird huh? :)
2- the more people say i look fat, or ive gained weight, the more i would stuff my face with food. so dont start with it...
3-i hate looking in the mirror. i look hideous in it.
4- but i like taking pictures cause im photogenic? hehehhe
5-once when i was in highschool my teacher called me by the name NORA. it was even on my matric card. aiyo...that name and me, dont match. the total yin and yang. i hated it til i refuse to see the teacher for almost a week.
6-i have a very imaginative innerchild that could rule over my head once in awhile. nothing like chucky but dangerous for my health though...
7-my choice of music is the old/retro-ish type. it helps me get in touch with my future self. the future old me. hehe
8-the fact is, im a cindian+malay,but i dont even look close to what ever i am mix with.go figure!
9-im in a crisis of love. i told my mom that im giving her the full responsibility to find me my groom. so, that part of my future is settled. hehe even if i dont believe in arrange marriage, this idea seems the best for now. haha (not that i want it soon...age 30 pls!)
10-im a faker and always horny. hahahahhaha

so kuhaz, ive done this. where's my reward?
here's the list of people i tagged are AQISS,WANDY, JARL, EIN, DAYDECK & SYEEQ....

whats in my head

i see things around me and i stop. i see myself in the mirror then i stop. i see my friends sobbing, laughing, and smiling, that makes me stop and wonder about this is life. the world is so full of miraculous events that we are sometimes too busy to notice. i always thought life would be easier when the IT world comes around, but what happens is actually not what they predicted. world has became complicated by day since the new evolution. it has became violent, inconsiderate and too modern for any human minds to handle. and yet we want the modernity to continue. well, call me old fashioned but this is the truth. instead of being able to spend our time for more than just one thing a day, we end up being busy over a particular detail. finding money is the only thing that matters in this world. you dont have money, no one will look up to you with dignity. how i wish life is much simpler. like the one narrated in our childhood story books. where life of a family is full of love and simplicity. where did the beauty go?

we see corrupted youth out there. no one is stopping them. why? cause we are all corrupted inside and the corrupters. why make a big fuss of loiters, drug addicts, bribery if we ourselves dont change. preaching is good. but when u cant preach to yourself to do good, nothing u say to
others makes any difference.

i always tell myself not to talk a lot. just keep quiet and listen. but i just cant do just that. i have so many things to say to each and everyone of you. and so does i hope you people will tell me things that makes me learn. especially my friends. i have so much to say but i am just holding it in....what do you have to say about me?

i see a friend of mind being idiotic, it hurts inside. i see my friend being foolish, i weep inside. and i see all my friends not happy, i feel bad inside. i see my friend ruining his life cause of stupidity, it bleeds me inside. there's so much of life than those you have done. you could do better than that. truthfully. i may look like i dont care but do you know exactly how i feel inside when i see you hurt? when i see you not doing anything to prevent yourself from hurting? i can say a million things to each of you to help out, but if you yourself wont do anything about it or realise, i raise my case. cause to you i have love for, to you i care about, to you i feel close related to. you people are the source of my life. that i may want to keep a life long more.

families are your guardian angels. to keep you safe from harm. thats what my mom especially, did for me. but being a rebel as i am. i ignore the fact of just that. but i realise now the consequences. ill try to change. its not going to be easy but ill definately try. im sorry....

where's my love fairytale? it has gone all wrong. the fairytale gone wrong. its going to take time to get out of this entire piece of sh*t cause the wound was already there before it got cut again. but i never said i didnt have anything to remember or reminisce about. i enjoyed it. eliminate the bad things happening. i enjoyed every minute i felt love with you. if its true or not, i dont care. ill remember it as the way i want it to be remembered. one day ill tell my daughters to stop and think first before accepting a friendly smile from one sweet guy. and thats you...

smack that

im waiting patiently while the clock is ticking. tick tock. tick tock. boyz 11 men is soon. and im freaking going!!! me-happy! blimey...its so exciting. why cant my family move faster. get our arses in genting pronto! need to pick up tix summore. aiyo! but im happy. i hope its a fun show. if not ill strangle them to death. joke! even if its not good also ill be blinded by the fact that they are in kl and im watching them LIVEEEEEEEEEEE. yes yes. ok, im not gonna rub anything in anyone faces anymore. i know some of u may not care much but some must be just so so so jealous. so please, what ever u feel while reading this. keep it to yourself. cause i dont care. hehe joke! take care people. geez its been a long time since i wrote in here. chioa people!

xoxo

NEW YEAR

happy new year little earthlings! its a brand new opening and im happily greeting it. i hope we accomplished our resolutions this year even if i dont have any aims. but im hoping this year is a good one. for me and for you.

the real scenario

life has a weird way to show its rebel towards people. my luck for the past 20years wasnt always on top but it wasnt even bad to start with too. but for the past 2 weeks. its been like shit. no one can understand what ive gone through. not you. so forget it. to those who has helped me along the way in making myself stronger and solving what ive gone through, i appreciate. and for what i still hold indebt with you people, ill soon repay. for you i want to say thank you. to you i hope for your life long jolly good of happy life. cause honestly. u people are the best. thank you. i love you deep down. and i mean it.

this that this

i just came back from penang last night at 1am. penang is ok. just hot. well, cant expect to do anything more than eat and visit few people we know in a short time of a day. due to my stupid meeting at 2pm today, we didnt stay 2nights as we planned earlier. but its all alright. appa met his old collegue uncle goh. and another guy that i cant remember his name. and then we went to meet my aunt from my dad's side in sungai petani. well, it wasnt anything grand but its ok. met everyone in just a short 2hours. and then we drove back to kl. the weather was melancholy last night. i drove half the way last night until i decided not to when we reach kuala kangsar. so hard to drive in that drizzle. during the drive mama said something to me... "i know whats going on in your life now, dont forget i have instincts..." hehe i just laughed. but she was damn serious for me to break up with who ever the guy im with now. apparently she thought he was a dj of some sort. yeah, in that scene but toally different. im just gonna re-think about it. so much things to consider. she said this too "you dunno if ure on a rebound unless u hit something along the way..." maybe it is true. or not. who knows? so ill sit down and think this over. good bye for now. hugs and kisses from me to everyone. special reminder...IM HAPPY.

*LOVE*