One day i will look back to the days i have experienced and gone through these past 4years (here) and if u were to ask me what i'd miss or will i miss it? honestly, my answer is "i don't know". I have no direct attachment to any area of my university grounds nor any programs in particular. but i know ill miss my girlfriends who never fails to give me a "sense of joy". definitely. 2 of them are leaving real soon. and i bit them good bye and all the best of luck. im happy for you both. *big hug* i'd miss my other friends too. they are like pillar of "gembira-ness".
or maybe (i just thought of this actually), i would miss calling kak hanim (my dean's p.a) up to make appointments to see prof mansor. She's so nice, And maybe i will miss most lecturer's room that i often visit. Other than these, if u'd ask again what else i will miss in my life if the wind direction changes soon, is the warm feeling of having my beloved family around. I would miss raya's and every other occasion we celebrate yearly. and the moral support they give me generally. as well as their endless love for me thoroughly.
pls promise me people you will come visit wherever i go in the future. ill come to you too if God is willing.
Mama: ill miss your endless nags (i know u'd want only the best for me), your delicious cookings, and most of all your warm hugs and kisses that are able to shay the pain or sorrows i feel, away
Appa: ill miss your advise (u never bore me with it), excellent general knowledge-ure like a living encyclopedia, and a pillar to hold on
Asyraf: ill definitely miss the endless argues we have EVERYDAY but i will surely miss to have you sticking up for me EVERYTIME. and also the most important is, ill miss ur singing (hahahaha)
Amyrah: ill miss ur silence (most of the time), that unique laughters u fill my days with and ur remarkable huge appetite. ill miss it all.
Kak Tina: she is like family. without her we are doomed. ill miss the fresh clean cloths that i don't have to do myself daily, ur "i'm always right" attitude (funny) and the mouth-watering sambal tempe and appam. ill miss it if i go far. *drool*
Noreen: i miss partying with you, shopping with you, eating with you, and talking crap with you. u're like a bigger sister i never had. u were always there for me. thank you. i will definitely and surely miss you.
but whatever it is, just pray i go somewhere cool, the best, safe and beautiful. So this sem's resolution is to score; dean's list or more and make the best out of all things. *cross-fingers* Amin.
XOXO
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 01, 2008
urghhh
langkawi is amazingly beautiful and the sand is exceptionally gorgeous. i want to spend the rest of my time on the beach here. and there, people thought we do not have sandy white beaches. langkawi says it all. im in love. joe, lets go! i want a getaway with you here. :)
results are sucky. no elaboration.
ma, im sorry. *big hug*
results are sucky. no elaboration.
ma, im sorry. *big hug*
Thursday, November 13, 2008
yada-yada
Who’s the funniest drunk person you know?
myself… really! I get real stupid. *grin*
How did you feel when you woke up? this morning?
With a smiling face thinking what a great day today would be.
How is your hair?
messy. I like.
Name something great that happened Friday?
ermm….i had all the people I love around me. My family and my friends in the same day.
When was the last time you saw your father?
this morning before he left for work
Do you like your life as of now?
no…its depressing. Exams!
Anything you want someone to realize?
yes of course! Open your eyes and look at me already. Damn.
Do you regret doing something in the past week?
yes, not studying extra hard.
Have you ever been kissed by a person thats name starts with J?
hahahahha this is a good one! Lets figure…
Do you drink coffee?
yes I do…
Do you crack your knuckles?
every once in awhile
What is your most recent accomplishment?
sleeping til 5pm..wanted to do that for the longest time really.
Does anyone call you babe or baby?
*grin*
Last thing you drank?
water
What were you doing yesterday at midnight?
drinking with my cousins at home… and eating laksa sarawak
What can’t you wait for?
holiday, korea trip, road trip with the girls and bla bla
What do you currently hear?
the thunder outside
Who was the last person’s voice you heard over the phone?
my dad
Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor?
nope but if u consider sleeping in the bathroom the same then yes.
What was the highlight of your week?
exams. Exams and more of it. boringgg
When is your birthday?
June 13th
Do you get along with girls?
yes. Why not?
Do you like surprises?
think so.
Plans for this weekend?
dad’s birthday, mama and myra is coming! Completion…
Are you listening to any music?
yes…
It’s 4 in the morning, your phone rings?
yeah so?
When was the last time you laughed really hard?
last night. Oh thank you, you two…
Where did you get the shorts/pants you are wearing?
from seeds. hahahha
How tall are you?
5’5” or 6”…
Do you ever keep arguing even when you know you’re wrong?
maybe
When is the next time you will see your grandma?
never.. she passed
Do you have or want any piercings?
I do but want more esp on the nose
What are your plans for the future?
korea in 2 weeks, road trip with the girls in dec, langkawi for new year, maybe in may off to oz
Have you ever set foot in a tanning bed?
nope..dont need it
What’s the last time you watched a hockey game?
like never?
Have you ever bought/sold anything on Ebay?
nope..
Do you know the Souldja Boy dance?
yeah…the funny one!
What is your favorite number?
13
Favorite sport to watch in the summer Olympics?
track, swimming, gymnastic and current favourite is volleyball.
Ever flushed a fish?
nope…not that dumb!
Do you recycle?
sometimes
Do you make your bed everyday?
of course!
What do you spend most your money on?
food. I love ‘em food
How many pillows do you sleep with?
like 6?
Got anything to do today?
dinner with dad.
Peppermint or spearmint?
none
Who came over last?
no one..i went over my cousins’
What was the last movie you watched at home?
cant remember…
Who introduced you to your boyfriend/girlfriend?
the club. hahahahha
What kind of milk do you drink?
skim milk!
myself… really! I get real stupid. *grin*
How did you feel when you woke up? this morning?
With a smiling face thinking what a great day today would be.
How is your hair?
messy. I like.
Name something great that happened Friday?
ermm….i had all the people I love around me. My family and my friends in the same day.
When was the last time you saw your father?
this morning before he left for work
Do you like your life as of now?
no…its depressing. Exams!
Anything you want someone to realize?
yes of course! Open your eyes and look at me already. Damn.
Do you regret doing something in the past week?
yes, not studying extra hard.
Have you ever been kissed by a person thats name starts with J?
hahahahha this is a good one! Lets figure…
Do you drink coffee?
yes I do…
Do you crack your knuckles?
every once in awhile
What is your most recent accomplishment?
sleeping til 5pm..wanted to do that for the longest time really.
Does anyone call you babe or baby?
*grin*
Last thing you drank?
water
What were you doing yesterday at midnight?
drinking with my cousins at home… and eating laksa sarawak
What can’t you wait for?
holiday, korea trip, road trip with the girls and bla bla
What do you currently hear?
the thunder outside
Who was the last person’s voice you heard over the phone?
my dad
Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor?
nope but if u consider sleeping in the bathroom the same then yes.
What was the highlight of your week?
exams. Exams and more of it. boringgg
When is your birthday?
June 13th
Do you get along with girls?
yes. Why not?
Do you like surprises?
think so.
Plans for this weekend?
dad’s birthday, mama and myra is coming! Completion…
Are you listening to any music?
yes…
It’s 4 in the morning, your phone rings?
yeah so?
When was the last time you laughed really hard?
last night. Oh thank you, you two…
Where did you get the shorts/pants you are wearing?
from seeds. hahahha
How tall are you?
5’5” or 6”…
Do you ever keep arguing even when you know you’re wrong?
maybe
When is the next time you will see your grandma?
never.. she passed
Do you have or want any piercings?
I do but want more esp on the nose
What are your plans for the future?
korea in 2 weeks, road trip with the girls in dec, langkawi for new year, maybe in may off to oz
Have you ever set foot in a tanning bed?
nope..dont need it
What’s the last time you watched a hockey game?
like never?
Have you ever bought/sold anything on Ebay?
nope..
Do you know the Souldja Boy dance?
yeah…the funny one!
What is your favorite number?
13
Favorite sport to watch in the summer Olympics?
track, swimming, gymnastic and current favourite is volleyball.
Ever flushed a fish?
nope…not that dumb!
Do you recycle?
sometimes
Do you make your bed everyday?
of course!
What do you spend most your money on?
food. I love ‘em food
How many pillows do you sleep with?
like 6?
Got anything to do today?
dinner with dad.
Peppermint or spearmint?
none
Who came over last?
no one..i went over my cousins’
What was the last movie you watched at home?
cant remember…
Who introduced you to your boyfriend/girlfriend?
the club. hahahahha
What kind of milk do you drink?
skim milk!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
its them, and has always been
one night...
NL: i love you both.... :)
NN: but i love isk!
DW: can i love myself ah? hehehehhe
NL: i dont care i still love you both... *GRIN*
NN & DW: u cannot love 2 person at a time. its called cheating. JB?
NL: if thats called cheating...then ive cheated all along. cause ive always been in love with both of you! ahhh who cares?
*thinking...i've always loved the family. its unity, its bond, the endless love within, its odd ways of expressing and acting, the ranjak-ness, the care....nevertheless they are still the coolest. no matter what others say, love has been carved for them through bad times and good times. this is the thick blood.
xoxo
NL: i love you both.... :)
NN: but i love isk!
DW: can i love myself ah? hehehehhe
NL: i dont care i still love you both... *GRIN*
NN & DW: u cannot love 2 person at a time. its called cheating. JB?
NL: if thats called cheating...then ive cheated all along. cause ive always been in love with both of you! ahhh who cares?
*thinking...i've always loved the family. its unity, its bond, the endless love within, its odd ways of expressing and acting, the ranjak-ness, the care....nevertheless they are still the coolest. no matter what others say, love has been carved for them through bad times and good times. this is the thick blood.
xoxo
Thursday, September 04, 2008
closure
if i am or was at WRONG. tell it to my face. don't go complain to anyone else but me. if you're too chickened out to tell me face to face, there are many ways of communicating in our diverse world today. thanks to technologies. go ahead pick and choose.
if i am BAD, don't say its because of somebody else's influence. its all me. don't blame it on my parents, my siblings, my friends or even MY COUSIN. its me. and please don't say nasty things about them. cause YOU don't know them well enough like I do. be sensible.
if i am so IMPOSSIBLE to be with, why say you stay forever in the first place? just let me be in the shadows of not knowing. let me await the moment for the FOREVER-ness to kick in; when or where ever it shall happen. im happier by knowing someone is learning to love or loves me in the present even if it means NOT forever.
if im ever a bad FRIEND to anyone or not worth being friends with, leave me and go find other people who can love and treat you well cause honestly you're doing justice to yourself and me. save us all the trouble of bickering and bitching about. i don't want to fight anymore.
if ever you wished that im the PERFECT daughter for you, im sorry to disagree or to be the total opposite. i have my flaws but nevertheless i know for sure i love you more than anything. please don't brag about me, don't fret about me, don't compare me, but just love me for being me. i hope one day when you see that, you will learn to appreciate what im doing for you before, now and than.
if one day you realise that every thing i say is a LIE and im SELFISH, on that day promise me (each and everyone of you) that you move away from me cause the last thing i want to do is to hurt everyone of you by lying or just being the STUPID me.
have a delightful life. im ok. :)
if i am BAD, don't say its because of somebody else's influence. its all me. don't blame it on my parents, my siblings, my friends or even MY COUSIN. its me. and please don't say nasty things about them. cause YOU don't know them well enough like I do. be sensible.
if i am so IMPOSSIBLE to be with, why say you stay forever in the first place? just let me be in the shadows of not knowing. let me await the moment for the FOREVER-ness to kick in; when or where ever it shall happen. im happier by knowing someone is learning to love or loves me in the present even if it means NOT forever.
if im ever a bad FRIEND to anyone or not worth being friends with, leave me and go find other people who can love and treat you well cause honestly you're doing justice to yourself and me. save us all the trouble of bickering and bitching about. i don't want to fight anymore.
if ever you wished that im the PERFECT daughter for you, im sorry to disagree or to be the total opposite. i have my flaws but nevertheless i know for sure i love you more than anything. please don't brag about me, don't fret about me, don't compare me, but just love me for being me. i hope one day when you see that, you will learn to appreciate what im doing for you before, now and than.
if one day you realise that every thing i say is a LIE and im SELFISH, on that day promise me (each and everyone of you) that you move away from me cause the last thing i want to do is to hurt everyone of you by lying or just being the STUPID me.
have a delightful life. im ok. :)
Monday, August 25, 2008
the end for them...
My dear friends: kuhaz and sue, have finally graduated and free from IIUM. CONGRATULATIONS!!! dearly beloved-s. i love you guys dearly. so where to next?? *GRIN*
Lots of love,
NinaLiyana
Thursday, August 21, 2008
from kuhaz....
IM A LAID-BACK DOER (LD)
Laid-back Doers are friendly, happy persons. They enjoy being together with other people. Smart, eloquent, witty and charming, they like to be the centre of attraction. They do not like to be alone. Their zest for life ensures that others feel well in their company and that they quickly get to know people. Laid-back Doers get the best out of every moment - many people of this type have a gift for making their whole life one big party. Boredom is unknown in their presence because they are very good at carrying others away with their enthusiasm, their good mood and their optimism.
Abstract thinking and profound philosophising about the meaning of life appeal less to Laid-back Doers. They are pragmatic, realistic and live completely in the here and now. At work too, they prefer it when it’s all go and they can act out their purposeful manner to the full. They have no problem handling several tasks at once and they blossom out in crisis situations! A varied field of activity with a lot of social contacts is just the right thing for them. One will also seldom find them inactive in their spare time; due to their open, curious nature, they mostly have many hobbies and interests. They are not afraid of the unknown: as they are flexible and creative, they quickly adjust to new situations and make the best of them. They sometimes come into conflict with strict rules or hierarchies by which they quickly feel constrained and against which they rebel.
As friends, Laid-back Doers are generous, helpful persons who attach great importance to harmonious relationships and a good atmosphere. Their sociable manner means that they have a large circle of friends and they love having the house full of many different types of guests. They are happy to give in to their spontaneous moods and fancies in the just one or two important things. This makes them appear somewhat unpredictable to those with a quieter nature. When it really matters, you can rely on them one hundred percent. As partners, they are creative, impetuous and imaginative - as long as their partner knows how to fascinate them. They can hardly stand boredom or routine in a relationship. They do not like conflicts at all; if a relationship becomes too strenuous or involves too much effort, they tend to withdraw from the partnership and start to look for a new partner. However, if one manages to keep their curiosity alive in the long term and surprise them again and again, one has a loyal and loving partner.
Laid-back Doers are friendly, happy persons. They enjoy being together with other people. Smart, eloquent, witty and charming, they like to be the centre of attraction. They do not like to be alone. Their zest for life ensures that others feel well in their company and that they quickly get to know people. Laid-back Doers get the best out of every moment - many people of this type have a gift for making their whole life one big party. Boredom is unknown in their presence because they are very good at carrying others away with their enthusiasm, their good mood and their optimism.
Abstract thinking and profound philosophising about the meaning of life appeal less to Laid-back Doers. They are pragmatic, realistic and live completely in the here and now. At work too, they prefer it when it’s all go and they can act out their purposeful manner to the full. They have no problem handling several tasks at once and they blossom out in crisis situations! A varied field of activity with a lot of social contacts is just the right thing for them. One will also seldom find them inactive in their spare time; due to their open, curious nature, they mostly have many hobbies and interests. They are not afraid of the unknown: as they are flexible and creative, they quickly adjust to new situations and make the best of them. They sometimes come into conflict with strict rules or hierarchies by which they quickly feel constrained and against which they rebel.
As friends, Laid-back Doers are generous, helpful persons who attach great importance to harmonious relationships and a good atmosphere. Their sociable manner means that they have a large circle of friends and they love having the house full of many different types of guests. They are happy to give in to their spontaneous moods and fancies in the just one or two important things. This makes them appear somewhat unpredictable to those with a quieter nature. When it really matters, you can rely on them one hundred percent. As partners, they are creative, impetuous and imaginative - as long as their partner knows how to fascinate them. They can hardly stand boredom or routine in a relationship. They do not like conflicts at all; if a relationship becomes too strenuous or involves too much effort, they tend to withdraw from the partnership and start to look for a new partner. However, if one manages to keep their curiosity alive in the long term and surprise them again and again, one has a loyal and loving partner.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
today
i love pretty things.... and olmypic's opening was spectacular. 080808 @ 8.08pm in China.
my new name: renesmee carlie cullen.
how i wish i can be her. i like her powers. i want that slide show effect. i want to be extremely gorgeous like a half breed too. and i want to be her cause im greedy. being her means i can have both edward cullen and jacob black. how much happier can i be? yes yes im weird. but this is my illusion...why cant there be powers as such in existence?
my new name: renesmee carlie cullen.
how i wish i can be her. i like her powers. i want that slide show effect. i want to be extremely gorgeous like a half breed too. and i want to be her cause im greedy. being her means i can have both edward cullen and jacob black. how much happier can i be? yes yes im weird. but this is my illusion...why cant there be powers as such in existence?
Monday, August 04, 2008
you and me and world affairs
i am miserable because i did something really bad to you. and im sorry. i hope you can find somewhere in your heart to forgive me. i love you still. very much. the weekend will not be the same without what u made me feel. you're my anchor, my pillar, my love. i need you all the time. pls dont go. stay forever.....
p/s: girls, is it ok if i decide to get married real soon?
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
i barely have anything to say these days. i was demotivated last week, and im JUST ok this week. i don't know how ill feel next week...hopefully i will be some sort of rajin-ner. other than this, i have nothing else to say. "i miss the bed at home and it has only been a day". full stop. :)
Monday, July 14, 2008
you, me, and the world
you are the one i rely on. you are the one who understands my needs (always). you are the one i love the most. you are my saviour. and your love for me is unconditional. you guide me when im at my ultimate lost. you pick me up when nobody wanted to. you tell me when im at wrong. we quarrel and have our misunderstandings but nothing we do can ever separate me from you. This is because i love you endlessly. sometimes i dont show, or seem to appreciate much but this is how i feel. i pledge to take care of you till the day you or i die. and i pledge to make u happy. with God's permission, ill love you with all my heart til my very last breath. dear MAMA, i love you. nothing in this world can be compared to your love for me, and my love for you. this is honest.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
happiness in me
i wish........
i wish to dance on a stage, the lights shinning me through and to hear everyone applause for me.
i wish for so many things in this world... e.g: world peace, better lives for the needy, selfishly wishing im with a better figure or was born within the manhattan upper east side clicks (influence of tv..) & etc
and here i also wish i was born for the stage; for plays and to wear those beautiful costume.....
and sometimes i wish i'm a musician. i dream to be able to make music and write meaningful lyrics.
i want to be a good lyricist. or a poetic music critic....
whats the best job in this whole world? ..... something that makes that person happy!
and lastly i wish money wasn't THE measurement of worldly success...
xoxo
i wish to dance on a stage, the lights shinning me through and to hear everyone applause for me.
i wish for so many things in this world... e.g: world peace, better lives for the needy, selfishly wishing im with a better figure or was born within the manhattan upper east side clicks (influence of tv..) & etc
and here i also wish i was born for the stage; for plays and to wear those beautiful costume.....
and sometimes i wish i'm a musician. i dream to be able to make music and write meaningful lyrics.
i want to be a good lyricist. or a poetic music critic....
whats the best job in this whole world? ..... something that makes that person happy!
and lastly i wish money wasn't THE measurement of worldly success...
xoxo
Friday, June 20, 2008
linkeddd...
i was reading through the many blogs i know and came across sue's blog. her recent post made me stop and religiously read. i guess sue has always had that in her. writing honestly from her heart: staying true to words! and making statements that u know exist but wouldnt think of, until someone points it out...dear sue, i like your post. recently, being so much around someone who makes a living out of music and has the passion for it has me to agree with you.....maybe one day ill introduce you to him and vice versa. i think you guys will make good friends.
my music knowlegde may be little, i may be tone deaf, i may not know how to play all those fantastic music instruments that i wish i could, but i know ive never NOT like music. esp. good music with its very own soul within. it has so much helped me through my ups and downs in life.....as i believe it did to you too. and im a dancer to my own music and a singer to my own lyric. Hence, may music breed forever in our soul.... :)
**a tribute to those who thinks highly of great music. thank you.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
birthday, again!
birthdays are usually overrated....but i just need to share this. i like my birthday this year. its the best thus far. thanks to the people that made it possible and managed to suprise me.....*nasib i didnt cry* my love and appreciation to those who came. special tribute to the organizers - asyraf, amon, mine, jenk, and khairy. to my beloved cousins; dewi and fifie, thanks for being there. i love each and everyone who came. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
p/s: thanks for the endless wish on my birthday people! its nice when people remember.... :)
p/p/s: oh ya, i got lotsa useful presents this year....thanks ma, pa, asyraf, myra and mine. :)
p/s: thanks for the endless wish on my birthday people! its nice when people remember.... :)
p/p/s: oh ya, i got lotsa useful presents this year....thanks ma, pa, asyraf, myra and mine. :)
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Sunday, June 01, 2008
again its you
miserable...is it a sin to feel this?
im annoyed that i feel that way now. im sick that im still falling so deep for you. i feel sorry that you don't feel the same way too. but i have no regrets of being involve with you. at least i smiled. at least i was happy. and memories i have now of you are only the sweet ones which i will cherish in my heart. i loved u. maybe still. but it doesnt matter now.... u deserve to be happy, and so do i. i wish u great.... :)
somehow, they say...the grass is always greener on the other side...
im annoyed that i feel that way now. im sick that im still falling so deep for you. i feel sorry that you don't feel the same way too. but i have no regrets of being involve with you. at least i smiled. at least i was happy. and memories i have now of you are only the sweet ones which i will cherish in my heart. i loved u. maybe still. but it doesnt matter now.... u deserve to be happy, and so do i. i wish u great.... :)
somehow, they say...the grass is always greener on the other side...
Friday, May 30, 2008
my trip to sibu and kapit
helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!
im back to the grounds of kuching....and may i say, the journey i had was fruitful and "new".
the whole journey includes me getting on the plane (the usual), hopping on boat rides (and if ure wondering, its not similar to cruises AT ALL..), travelling on the SG fourwheeldrive and walking into the "ulu" sites. but it was enjoyable and honestly, i wouldn't mind being posted as a planning officer anywhere far within the borneo islands. as long as it has the basic electricity and water ill be alright. for e.g, kapit....
oh yeah, i visited long houses too... teehee!
next few days is holiday because Gawai is approaching. to those celebrating gawai... "Gayu Guru Gerai Nyaaaamai"...Selamat Hari Gawai.
im back to the grounds of kuching....and may i say, the journey i had was fruitful and "new".
the whole journey includes me getting on the plane (the usual), hopping on boat rides (and if ure wondering, its not similar to cruises AT ALL..), travelling on the SG fourwheeldrive and walking into the "ulu" sites. but it was enjoyable and honestly, i wouldn't mind being posted as a planning officer anywhere far within the borneo islands. as long as it has the basic electricity and water ill be alright. for e.g, kapit....
oh yeah, i visited long houses too... teehee!
next few days is holiday because Gawai is approaching. to those celebrating gawai... "Gayu Guru Gerai Nyaaaamai"...Selamat Hari Gawai.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
upcoming journey
next week, tuesday 27.05.08, ill be going to 4 new places (Sibu-Selangau-Kapit-Song). thanks to the place im training at; that i get this opportunity to finally go places. *GRIN* hopefully its going to be a fruitful event. i can't wait......
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
the in thing now...
To all jewellary, art and craft lovers, do come to The Flea Market in Tun Jugah this coming weekend. and yeah.... watch out for the QACAQ stall....everything is so beautiful. See you there! Support the local entrepreneurs....
p/s: make sure you people grab this voucher one each to get great discounts & offers on the day itself. it is NOT VALID for any other offers....
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
My Heaven
We've been down that road before....and its over now.
For once in our life we have find that someone..
who will turn your world around,
or pick u up when ure feeling down....
....Even now nothing can change what you mean to me.
There's still love i could say...
143.
For once in our life we have find that someone..
who will turn your world around,
or pick u up when ure feeling down....
....Even now nothing can change what you mean to me.
There's still love i could say...
143.
fascination
it was a long weekend, monday was a holiday. it was a nice break. "me likey-lazy day".
the past week has been a handful of events. from the best to the worst. but despite anything i don't regret any minute or second of it. i am becoming a person who accept things as it happens, as it comes and as it goes. im too tired to fight back..... and here i am praying for a better end somewhere. maybe i need to believe in the beautiful innocent things that facinate me when i was little. at least im protected by that barrier.... the illuminating light i usually see.
Thus far, music has become a good companion to me. so is my newly found friend adzeem aka jenk. a tribute to honesty, sincerity, care, love and fun he shows me through his friendship and music.... and not forgetting my little cousins, nieces and nephew who enlights my days with laughters. thank you.
im well-protected. for now.
Out to my friends; i MISS you guys thoroughly. i wish all of u are here... *BIG HUG*
the past week has been a handful of events. from the best to the worst. but despite anything i don't regret any minute or second of it. i am becoming a person who accept things as it happens, as it comes and as it goes. im too tired to fight back..... and here i am praying for a better end somewhere. maybe i need to believe in the beautiful innocent things that facinate me when i was little. at least im protected by that barrier.... the illuminating light i usually see.
Thus far, music has become a good companion to me. so is my newly found friend adzeem aka jenk. a tribute to honesty, sincerity, care, love and fun he shows me through his friendship and music.... and not forgetting my little cousins, nieces and nephew who enlights my days with laughters. thank you.
im well-protected. for now.
Out to my friends; i MISS you guys thoroughly. i wish all of u are here... *BIG HUG*
Monday, May 12, 2008
you.
music and you. a synonym im proud of. music is your life. basically everything. u dropped everything for it. and i envy you for being able to stand up for what u love. and that makes the little girl in me adores you. u give me the feeling of content. the freedom of movement. i like you. i like you just because you give me the pride for just being me. thank you.
Thursday, May 01, 2008
wonderous (if theres such word)
When i woke up this morning, i said to myself, "Nina, why are u still in bed? ure suppose to be at work kan?" then i remembered its a holidayyyyyyyyy! hahaha thank God its Labour Day. TGILD... hahahha. so i tucked myself back into bed and doze off for another hour or so. i woke up fresh, happy and feeling lucky. weeeeeeeeeeeeee! oh, i might go for Miri Jazz festival early may. wanna come anyone?
Saturday, April 26, 2008
2nd & 3rd week
ok its the end of 3rd week for my practical training. and here's an update to my friends who are interested how i progressed after the interesting first week. here goes...
2nd Week - Like many government offices, our sector surely has a lot of meeting to attend to. so this week alone i attended 2 meetings. since my supervisor is around this week, i had more fun during practical and learning things. monday, i attended the Sri Aman-Betong Urban and Regional Study-An economic briefing between SPU and rekarancang&BL consultant. and yes friends, its rekarancang from tmn melawati i tell you. hahaha. and in the afternoon again i compiled more project budget. i feel like an accountant all of a sudden. tuesday, i was exposed to a study of sustainable development for sarawak which consist of sustainable transport approach that wants to incorporate public transportation in all major towns in Sarawak headed by Dr Lawrence. but its still in study thou. it will take some time for decision-makers to realise the importance of it. since Dr Lawrence is a transport expert. so he was the one overly excited, which is a good thing. (radhi, u should have had him for your supervisor...he is nice and willing to help. he might be good mentor for your thesis). and in the afternoon i helpd Mr Lau with technical papers comment compilation. wednesday was a day of merantau. i visited land and survey HQ with Dr Lawrence to see how map is produced in Sarawak, the development control, siting and etc. its a different environment but educational. the next day however came to a point of reading again; read the RTPI (Royal Town Planning Institute, UK) journal. It became useful for my upcoming thesis. :) and friday was another meeting day; attended the Healthy City (Healthy Food Outlet in Padungan) meeting with Dr Lawrence and Mr Lau Yok King at MBKS. and after friday prayers help Ms Rozita prepare slides for MITran meeting on monday pertaining to transport which i compiled statistical data of transportation. Sunday was our bowling tournament and we got 3rd place! hahahah how cool is that? conclusion, week 2 is better.
3rd week - moved to land and survey since Dr Lawrence believes that i should have hands on, on how planning is implemented on the ground. after the MiTran meeting on Monday i moved to land and survey the very next day. and was put at the siting section where i learned to choose sites for land uses and approving building plans. it was a difficult and choatic work but i managed with the help from Mr Hashimi. the following days i helped them prepare plans for reports and did a little bit of conveying. Once in awhile i go to the Steno area just to lari from work. but as a rap, the 3rd week is also successful despite the new environment. thank god there are nice people.
till later. bye!
2nd Week - Like many government offices, our sector surely has a lot of meeting to attend to. so this week alone i attended 2 meetings. since my supervisor is around this week, i had more fun during practical and learning things. monday, i attended the Sri Aman-Betong Urban and Regional Study-An economic briefing between SPU and rekarancang&BL consultant. and yes friends, its rekarancang from tmn melawati i tell you. hahaha. and in the afternoon again i compiled more project budget. i feel like an accountant all of a sudden. tuesday, i was exposed to a study of sustainable development for sarawak which consist of sustainable transport approach that wants to incorporate public transportation in all major towns in Sarawak headed by Dr Lawrence. but its still in study thou. it will take some time for decision-makers to realise the importance of it. since Dr Lawrence is a transport expert. so he was the one overly excited, which is a good thing. (radhi, u should have had him for your supervisor...he is nice and willing to help. he might be good mentor for your thesis). and in the afternoon i helpd Mr Lau with technical papers comment compilation. wednesday was a day of merantau. i visited land and survey HQ with Dr Lawrence to see how map is produced in Sarawak, the development control, siting and etc. its a different environment but educational. the next day however came to a point of reading again; read the RTPI (Royal Town Planning Institute, UK) journal. It became useful for my upcoming thesis. :) and friday was another meeting day; attended the Healthy City (Healthy Food Outlet in Padungan) meeting with Dr Lawrence and Mr Lau Yok King at MBKS. and after friday prayers help Ms Rozita prepare slides for MITran meeting on monday pertaining to transport which i compiled statistical data of transportation. Sunday was our bowling tournament and we got 3rd place! hahahah how cool is that? conclusion, week 2 is better.
3rd week - moved to land and survey since Dr Lawrence believes that i should have hands on, on how planning is implemented on the ground. after the MiTran meeting on Monday i moved to land and survey the very next day. and was put at the siting section where i learned to choose sites for land uses and approving building plans. it was a difficult and choatic work but i managed with the help from Mr Hashimi. the following days i helped them prepare plans for reports and did a little bit of conveying. Once in awhile i go to the Steno area just to lari from work. but as a rap, the 3rd week is also successful despite the new environment. thank god there are nice people.
till later. bye!
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Kerja itu....
i successfully finished my first week of practical training. *phew* ok, here's the details...
07.04.08 - i came to the office 15mins early. its early in my dictionary cause nina never comes to anything on time. sad aint it? i was a nervous wreck when i came. had to obtain pas pelawat from the guard house since i cannot enter without it. so, after that i waited for the lift (like the rest of them) and i get all this stare (all may be thinking...hey, who are you ah??) but i just smiled (nina and her beautiful smile. hahahhaha) and when i was in the lift i press 6th floor and there i was in the office that im gonna train for the rest 12weeks. the office is nice (a good transition from any other gov office ive entered..its so lively!). As i walked in and try to find this lady called MS Rozita, a guy called me and asked what i am here for, so i said "im the new practical student, is MS Rozita in?" but apparently she wasn't in yet so was my supervisor. So i had to wait until 830am for them to finally report for duty. So there i learn my office hours is 830pm to 530pm. it sucks. for the first day i sat in MS Rozita's office and she brief me on office ethics and who and who is in charge of what. afterwards, she had to go for a meeting and then to the hospital, so there i was left to read all reports on urban and regional planning of Sarawak. its interesting at first but i nearly fell asleep after an hour. boring stuff ok. lunch break i dashed out of the office to meet Mizie; im craving for verbal communication ok! not that the staff is not friendly but im too shy to get out of the cubicle. ;p after lunch at around 430pm, my supervisor finally called me in to discuss my work, and he gave my very first assignment: "read the Sri Aman-Betong urban and regional study report and give your critique" he says....so i did just that the very next day. in conclusion, my day was boring and useless. except for the part i met my supervisor, talked to him and kenal few of the staff. he seems impressed with me and he is so baik. i consider myself lucky. (so many la to narrate!)
08.04.08 - critique paper for 2hours and im idling again. nothing to do. so i read my book. no web browsing cause i need password to use the browser...boring again! but im ok with it. at least i get to sit in Dr Lawrence room (thats the name of my supervisor btw) - acting like im the urban and regional director. hahahaha i went for my first lunch with few staff. and they are quite friendly and oh boy, they like to gossip! but the good part is i dont feel like an outcast anymore. thank god. after lunch work started to come, i had to compile project budgetting for them. and i just realise i can do work really fast and efficiently when i put my mind to it. under one hour i finished whole 3 projects budget from 2006 to 2009. im so proud of myself. the rest of the day is ok. and today too, i got my pas "pekerja sementara" meaning i dont need to use the pas pelawat anymore! *GRIN*
09.04.08 - i am introduced to vision 5S. its this thing about organizing your office to have a better working environment. everybody was so into it and busy. this is because on friday they have "pensijilan 5S"; and if they succeed they will be the first Sarawak office to get it. so everybody really work on it especially kak rozita, kak siti and kak sal - i helped too and extended my working hours to 630pm. and today too i met the boss for the first time - Hj Ismawi. He is not scary looking at all. he even smiled at me. so i smiled back. office environment is getting better. everyone is friendlier and i met new people. i even went to the GIS department to kacau and learn a few things (the maps they produce is superb. so nice and colourful- thanks to Dr Alias i know a thing or two from GIS class...so i dont seem stupid when they asked). all of them seems interested to know who i am. i let it be. its nice to meet new people and know them anyways.
10.04.08 - today is all about 5S more on gotong-royong and gunting-menggunting. but i liked it. it makes me bond better with all of them. i even stayed until 10pm to help finish up the 5S thingy. if ure wondering what is 5S, ask me. :) they seem to be very grateful every second i was there. i feel appreciated.
11.04.08 - pensijilan day, everyone was making final touch ups and all was very nervous. i can't help but laugh. but we manage to score 90% for the 5S program and entitled to a sijil. everyone leap with joy, who ever stayed late last night was given the half day off. so, with all the excitement i skip joyfully back to my car (literally) and drove home. the day is beautiful and im well- connected with all of them.
next week i will start training for my study field full force. hopefully its a success too. :)
07.04.08 - i came to the office 15mins early. its early in my dictionary cause nina never comes to anything on time. sad aint it? i was a nervous wreck when i came. had to obtain pas pelawat from the guard house since i cannot enter without it. so, after that i waited for the lift (like the rest of them) and i get all this stare (all may be thinking...hey, who are you ah??) but i just smiled (nina and her beautiful smile. hahahhaha) and when i was in the lift i press 6th floor and there i was in the office that im gonna train for the rest 12weeks. the office is nice (a good transition from any other gov office ive entered..its so lively!). As i walked in and try to find this lady called MS Rozita, a guy called me and asked what i am here for, so i said "im the new practical student, is MS Rozita in?" but apparently she wasn't in yet so was my supervisor. So i had to wait until 830am for them to finally report for duty. So there i learn my office hours is 830pm to 530pm. it sucks. for the first day i sat in MS Rozita's office and she brief me on office ethics and who and who is in charge of what. afterwards, she had to go for a meeting and then to the hospital, so there i was left to read all reports on urban and regional planning of Sarawak. its interesting at first but i nearly fell asleep after an hour. boring stuff ok. lunch break i dashed out of the office to meet Mizie; im craving for verbal communication ok! not that the staff is not friendly but im too shy to get out of the cubicle. ;p after lunch at around 430pm, my supervisor finally called me in to discuss my work, and he gave my very first assignment: "read the Sri Aman-Betong urban and regional study report and give your critique" he says....so i did just that the very next day. in conclusion, my day was boring and useless. except for the part i met my supervisor, talked to him and kenal few of the staff. he seems impressed with me and he is so baik. i consider myself lucky. (so many la to narrate!)
08.04.08 - critique paper for 2hours and im idling again. nothing to do. so i read my book. no web browsing cause i need password to use the browser...boring again! but im ok with it. at least i get to sit in Dr Lawrence room (thats the name of my supervisor btw) - acting like im the urban and regional director. hahahaha i went for my first lunch with few staff. and they are quite friendly and oh boy, they like to gossip! but the good part is i dont feel like an outcast anymore. thank god. after lunch work started to come, i had to compile project budgetting for them. and i just realise i can do work really fast and efficiently when i put my mind to it. under one hour i finished whole 3 projects budget from 2006 to 2009. im so proud of myself. the rest of the day is ok. and today too, i got my pas "pekerja sementara" meaning i dont need to use the pas pelawat anymore! *GRIN*
09.04.08 - i am introduced to vision 5S. its this thing about organizing your office to have a better working environment. everybody was so into it and busy. this is because on friday they have "pensijilan 5S"; and if they succeed they will be the first Sarawak office to get it. so everybody really work on it especially kak rozita, kak siti and kak sal - i helped too and extended my working hours to 630pm. and today too i met the boss for the first time - Hj Ismawi. He is not scary looking at all. he even smiled at me. so i smiled back. office environment is getting better. everyone is friendlier and i met new people. i even went to the GIS department to kacau and learn a few things (the maps they produce is superb. so nice and colourful- thanks to Dr Alias i know a thing or two from GIS class...so i dont seem stupid when they asked). all of them seems interested to know who i am. i let it be. its nice to meet new people and know them anyways.
10.04.08 - today is all about 5S more on gotong-royong and gunting-menggunting. but i liked it. it makes me bond better with all of them. i even stayed until 10pm to help finish up the 5S thingy. if ure wondering what is 5S, ask me. :) they seem to be very grateful every second i was there. i feel appreciated.
11.04.08 - pensijilan day, everyone was making final touch ups and all was very nervous. i can't help but laugh. but we manage to score 90% for the 5S program and entitled to a sijil. everyone leap with joy, who ever stayed late last night was given the half day off. so, with all the excitement i skip joyfully back to my car (literally) and drove home. the day is beautiful and im well- connected with all of them.
next week i will start training for my study field full force. hopefully its a success too. :)
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
misfit of life
life is interestingly good for change. exams over and im waiting for the industrial training to commence. oh well, a fine tune of everything i must say. nothing to update. just happy to be alive and kicking! lets render our lives much. im up to it. are u?
Monday, March 31, 2008
u suck
u know everytime exam week comes, i feel the churn to be someone that is free-spirited-let go and just ignore the fact that i havent studied and sooooo not ready for the exams. i feel it now. i wanna let go but i cant. i need good grades. and it sucks. all of this sucks. just 2more papers. why la every semester mesti ada subjects that suck. and this moment, now, suck. aiyah!
Sunday, March 16, 2008
SUNBURST 2008
SUNBURST was the bomb and a blast! no other words can describe how i feel. im so much or extremely happy and satisfied. the show is incredibly amazing. my sole purpose of going to sunburst is none other than my beloved boyfriend, JOHN LEGEND. God i waited for him for 4 years. has been his big fan since the very first song, Ordinary People and mind you, i actually screamed when he sang that song and of course the save room song and the rest. i know each line of the lyric okk. His performance is just so mind blowing. Usually ill be gross out by the fact that a person is so sweaty and opt not to go near. but JL is just a defacto. If i was given a chance to hug him with all that sweat ill be happy to do it. seriously. he is sooooo HOT! Next time he comes, i am going to make sure im right in front. THE FIRST ROW. so toodles for now.
p/s: the rest was extremely good too. The Roots came mannn... weeeeeeeeeeeee!
+NinaLegend+
p/s: the rest was extremely good too. The Roots came mannn... weeeeeeeeeeeee!
+NinaLegend+
Thursday, March 13, 2008
nie kengkawan saya punyer pasal la nie.... i got hooked to answering it too. hahaha
Introduction
First Name - Nor Amanina Liyana
Nickname - nina, nina, nina and once my teacher called me nora and once my friend tried to call
me LIA. eeeeeee....dont like!
Name you wish you had - never thought of this. maybe a pretty name like the flower?
What do people normally mistake your name as - nothing actually except for the first syllabus of my name
Birthday - 13 June 1986 - the best day of the year!
Birthplace - S.L Sim Clinic, Kuching, Sarawak
Time of Birth - 12noon
Single or Taken - Taken definately.
Zodiac sign - Gemini...beware i have split personality!
Your Appearance
How tall are you - 5'5"
Wish you were taller - yeah maybe 5'8"....i wonder what life would be? guys takut kot. hahahha
Eye color - dark brown
Eye color you want - blue
Natural Hair color - Brown
Current Hair color - karat colour
Short or long hair - intermediate
Curly, Straight, Wavy - tak terurus. hahahaha
Last time you did something dramatic with your hair - ages ago when i coloured my whole head purple.
Do you wear make-up - on special occasion yes.
Ever had hair extensions - nope. never did find any reason to. but i would love to try!
Paint your nails - yes. currently its pink! hahhaha
In the opposite gender
What color eyes - grey...the look so mysterious
What color hair - other than normal? hahaha blonde?
Shy or Outgoing - cant decide. depends on my mood
Looks or personality - personality definately. looks can only satisfy me to a certain point.
Sexy or Cute - sexy la! the hunky sexy
Serious or Fun - 2 in 1?
Older or Younger than you - is younger better or older better? the better one i choose. heh!
A turn on - their incredible eyes?
A turn off - that does not have good table manners when needed, someone i cannot talk senses to, an irritating guy and definately the gruesome one. bak kata org swak, nok ceridak bah!
This or that
Flowers or Chocolate - none? i want a car can?
Pepsi or Coke - neither. i prefer plain water
Relationship or One night stand - open relationship? hahahha
School or Work - school. cause i can still screw up and do it all over again.
Love or Money - duak-duak
Movies or Music - both both both
Country or City - Country. so free and so serene.
Sunny or Rainy days - depends on my mood of the day. but i love both equally.
Friends or Family - both
Have you ever
Wish you were a prince/princess - yes, i always wanted to be sleeping beauty
Liked someone who was taken - so many timess...
Shaved your head - i want to but someone wont let me
Been in love - too many that sometimes i think its just crush
Used chopsticks - most of the time
Sang in the mirror to yourself - saya yg terhebat. sejak kecil lagi.
Favorites
Flower - daisies. the best flowers ever.
Candy - the worm candy.
Song - too many to list. currently i love - sempurna by andra
Color - all of them? i think most fav may be fuschia
Movie - ermm...Dirty Dancing Havana Nights, Sound of Music and Drumline...among the fav la
Word - ngek! bongok! ala comel...
Junk food - kerepek bantal, and kuih cincin.
Website - amanina.blogspot.com....tee hee
Lotion - nivea cream
Animal - dogs.
Ever cried over someone - yes
Is there anything you wish you could change about yourself - slimmer version of me
Do you think you’re attractive - yes inside out. heheheh
If you had to choose a fairytale as your life what would you choose - little mermaid. can swim in the ocean without oxegen tank
Do you play any sports - nope. thats why im fat
III The rules:- Link to your tagger and post these rules. List (8) random facts about yourself and tag (8) people.
1) i like to cook, bake and clean the house
2) i hate studying for law
3) my favourite past time is i talk to myself
4) i cannot stop talking and sometimes i bore people with what i want to say
5) i couldnt care less of all the random things i do
6) i eat my french fries with ice cream (plain vanilla only)
7) my inner child is strong and throws tantrum if its not set loose once in awhile. :p
8) i am into politics nowadays. who would have imagine that to happen?
who ever wants to do this...lets do it!!! kalau boring la... hahahah
Introduction
First Name - Nor Amanina Liyana
Nickname - nina, nina, nina and once my teacher called me nora and once my friend tried to call
me LIA. eeeeeee....dont like!
Name you wish you had - never thought of this. maybe a pretty name like the flower?
What do people normally mistake your name as - nothing actually except for the first syllabus of my name
Birthday - 13 June 1986 - the best day of the year!
Birthplace - S.L Sim Clinic, Kuching, Sarawak
Time of Birth - 12noon
Single or Taken - Taken definately.
Zodiac sign - Gemini...beware i have split personality!
Your Appearance
How tall are you - 5'5"
Wish you were taller - yeah maybe 5'8"....i wonder what life would be? guys takut kot. hahahha
Eye color - dark brown
Eye color you want - blue
Natural Hair color - Brown
Current Hair color - karat colour
Short or long hair - intermediate
Curly, Straight, Wavy - tak terurus. hahahaha
Last time you did something dramatic with your hair - ages ago when i coloured my whole head purple.
Do you wear make-up - on special occasion yes.
Ever had hair extensions - nope. never did find any reason to. but i would love to try!
Paint your nails - yes. currently its pink! hahhaha
In the opposite gender
What color eyes - grey...the look so mysterious
What color hair - other than normal? hahaha blonde?
Shy or Outgoing - cant decide. depends on my mood
Looks or personality - personality definately. looks can only satisfy me to a certain point.
Sexy or Cute - sexy la! the hunky sexy
Serious or Fun - 2 in 1?
Older or Younger than you - is younger better or older better? the better one i choose. heh!
A turn on - their incredible eyes?
A turn off - that does not have good table manners when needed, someone i cannot talk senses to, an irritating guy and definately the gruesome one. bak kata org swak, nok ceridak bah!
This or that
Flowers or Chocolate - none? i want a car can?
Pepsi or Coke - neither. i prefer plain water
Relationship or One night stand - open relationship? hahahha
School or Work - school. cause i can still screw up and do it all over again.
Love or Money - duak-duak
Movies or Music - both both both
Country or City - Country. so free and so serene.
Sunny or Rainy days - depends on my mood of the day. but i love both equally.
Friends or Family - both
Have you ever
Wish you were a prince/princess - yes, i always wanted to be sleeping beauty
Liked someone who was taken - so many timess...
Shaved your head - i want to but someone wont let me
Been in love - too many that sometimes i think its just crush
Used chopsticks - most of the time
Sang in the mirror to yourself - saya yg terhebat. sejak kecil lagi.
Favorites
Flower - daisies. the best flowers ever.
Candy - the worm candy.
Song - too many to list. currently i love - sempurna by andra
Color - all of them? i think most fav may be fuschia
Movie - ermm...Dirty Dancing Havana Nights, Sound of Music and Drumline...among the fav la
Word - ngek! bongok! ala comel...
Junk food - kerepek bantal, and kuih cincin.
Website - amanina.blogspot.com....tee hee
Lotion - nivea cream
Animal - dogs.
Ever cried over someone - yes
Is there anything you wish you could change about yourself - slimmer version of me
Do you think you’re attractive - yes inside out. heheheh
If you had to choose a fairytale as your life what would you choose - little mermaid. can swim in the ocean without oxegen tank
Do you play any sports - nope. thats why im fat
III The rules:- Link to your tagger and post these rules. List (8) random facts about yourself and tag (8) people.
1) i like to cook, bake and clean the house
2) i hate studying for law
3) my favourite past time is i talk to myself
4) i cannot stop talking and sometimes i bore people with what i want to say
5) i couldnt care less of all the random things i do
6) i eat my french fries with ice cream (plain vanilla only)
7) my inner child is strong and throws tantrum if its not set loose once in awhile. :p
8) i am into politics nowadays. who would have imagine that to happen?
who ever wants to do this...lets do it!!! kalau boring la... hahahah
kuching
i went back for the weekend. my cousin's wedding is a blast and i met a lot of people i never imagined to meet after a long time, including my ex. and it was ironically not so awkward. we chatted, we said our hellos and it was all fine. other than that, the wedding was beautiful and the party was a blast. congrats! i cant wait to see your babies in future. *grin*
Saturday, March 08, 2008
happiness within....
you. you. you. thanks to you.
i have a lot of reasons to be happy.
im going back to kuching 2moro. family awaits. im happy. they are always there for me.
i have YOU. out of all the reasons, u make me smile each and everyday. thanks for the cd today...*blush*
i have good friends that i can depend on. I love them
i got the practical post i so wanted today. so why not feel proud and happy?
i was born with good brain, imagination, and heart (as i may think. teehee)
i have a good life in general. i dont go starving or broke like most of the misfortunate people out there.
and why im still complaining bout the little things i dont get? or not satisfied with? this shows human are never satisfied... but most of us learn to. but would wish to have more. i believe thats not a sin if it means to be better collectively.
good day. CONGRATS KAK MARINI & LUTH. may this occasion bring happiness to both and make lotsa babies ok? aunty nina wants babies to babysit. tee hee.
the most u can do in life is do what best u can with it. u may not have the best of everything, but when u make the most of everythiung you have, happiness come. the within is important...
( im a happy person.... )
i have a lot of reasons to be happy.
im going back to kuching 2moro. family awaits. im happy. they are always there for me.
i have YOU. out of all the reasons, u make me smile each and everyday. thanks for the cd today...*blush*
i have good friends that i can depend on. I love them
i got the practical post i so wanted today. so why not feel proud and happy?
i was born with good brain, imagination, and heart (as i may think. teehee)
i have a good life in general. i dont go starving or broke like most of the misfortunate people out there.
and why im still complaining bout the little things i dont get? or not satisfied with? this shows human are never satisfied... but most of us learn to. but would wish to have more. i believe thats not a sin if it means to be better collectively.
good day. CONGRATS KAK MARINI & LUTH. may this occasion bring happiness to both and make lotsa babies ok? aunty nina wants babies to babysit. tee hee.
the most u can do in life is do what best u can with it. u may not have the best of everything, but when u make the most of everythiung you have, happiness come. the within is important...
( im a happy person.... )
Monday, February 25, 2008
weekenders
weekend with you was amazing. (like the every others) no need bizzare settings or expensive gateaway. being with you here in the house, accompanied by love, affection, words of wisdom and our mischevious "Mr Waffles" makes it all good. i wont trade it for anything or anybody. you're my recent and my forever coming. i love you.
p/s: thanks for cooking. u manage well. *BIG SMILE*
p/s: thanks for cooking. u manage well. *BIG SMILE*
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
happy face
i feel like laughing. MUAHHAHAHAHHAHA ure an idiot. enough said. i feel sorry for people who things they are above the rest and make others feel less. but who am i to judge? life is all about plays. and sorry if i tend to be better at the play than you. the people i genuinely love, ill continue loving. the people i started to hate, its all going to be hate. never was a genuine thing for some. but i love my life despite the stupidity. my life, a social cycle.
p/s: whats there left to love if you don't have the sincerity in you from the beginning?
Nina
p/s: whats there left to love if you don't have the sincerity in you from the beginning?
Nina
Sunday, February 17, 2008
my friends
if i could rant things about my friends i actually cannot finish by the end of the day. there's so much to say, compliment and also kutuk. hah! who doesnt kutuk their own friends? i know i do. and im transparent about it. cause who are your best mirror if not your friends? i appreciate my friends. i live with friends more than i live with my own family. only when i reach this kind of age i am accustoming myself to my family. highschool was all about friends-asrama kan!, sekolah rendah macam takde impact sgt cause the time i realise about the colourvaried life of ours is when i started living independantly without parental supervision. im not that dependant kind you know, but being manja to people appeals to me now and then cause i love them. :) i have selected friends that i come to for help or comfort. but the rest i am learning to just accept them for their qualities. no need to marah cause in the end, its just a blunt end. thanks sue for the compliment.
140208 is a day for valentines. sure i celebrated with joe, the love of my life. but thats only part of the day. the earlier bit i spend with my anchors syaza and radhi in class. haha and suprisingly the class only lasted 10mins. how ironic? i guess the lecturer wanted to dash of for vday dinner. but thats not a big fat chance though. afterwards i went out for movies with the others, syaza(again), sue and kuhaz. the four of us had fun. it was a nice and comfortable outing. its been awhile since i did that with any group of friends of mine. nowadays its work work work. the rest of the evening i spent with joe before he left for work. so people, Vday is a day for love, even if you don't see the actual need for it, but it does bring people together and make people realise there is such thing called LOVE in life. there's nothing wrong celebrating it if your intentions are towards the people u love. i love my friends, thus i go out and have a nice time with them. i love my boyfriend deeply, so i spent time with him. Not that we dont proclaim love any other day, but why not say it again on vday? its like any other day. if people want to be extra loving or showy on this day, let them. at least they found love.
*dig that*
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
birthdays...
birthdays are not what they seem when we were kids. there is no more incredible sparks to it. i dunno if this is what aging does to you. but i dont think birthdays matter so much anymore. but its just a nice occasion to have your loved ones close to heart.
yesterday was my brother's birthday. HAPPY 19th birthday bro bro. we love you.
it was an austere occasion with superb dinner. we had live lobster. and steaks and baked oysters. its truly scrumptious...and the cake was cuppacakes. can u imagine guys with cupcake birthday cake? oh well my brother liked it...sweet.
happy birthday again to february babies (my friends especially- aqiss, anne, and others whom i cant remember precisely today. forgive me)...may it be a joyful occasion for most of us.
love and out,
Nina
yesterday was my brother's birthday. HAPPY 19th birthday bro bro. we love you.
it was an austere occasion with superb dinner. we had live lobster. and steaks and baked oysters. its truly scrumptious...and the cake was cuppacakes. can u imagine guys with cupcake birthday cake? oh well my brother liked it...sweet.
happy birthday again to february babies (my friends especially- aqiss, anne, and others whom i cant remember precisely today. forgive me)...may it be a joyful occasion for most of us.
love and out,
Nina
Saturday, February 09, 2008
unknownnn
Referral to syaza’s blog
I was talking to my mom bout how cruel lecturers can be sometimes. Especially in demoting us from the high level of creativity towards the level of burn ashes. Aiyah so depressing. Oh well, that’s life I guess. TAG ON LECTURERS: WE RULE, and what? Who? But after consulting my mom bout my disagreement with how lecturers are, my mom gave me a good point of view that would answer or maybe make syaza feel bit more better? Well, media is not entirely evil. People are. Tee hee. Me mama said, our generation (meaning hers.) should accept the for coming of the developing new world and how youth nowadays perceive the world, but as we preach in making the world a better place in a sense of democracy, the truth is far from reached. We are still “MALAYSIA” that somehow are still semi-nazi but in a nicer way. We are actually told of what to do, from the very beginning of our life cycle. Not to say it’s entirely wrong to have it, but it neglects the very fundamental of making people growing into diverse individuals with so many different unique qualities. Yet we mould them into about the average kind of individuals. Just look at our education system. It’s as simple as that. Go to school, get formal education, we do what teachers want us to do and sometimes we are not allowed to question. Mama said, since the very essence of time it has been that way, just that today it’s a bit more liberal. She also said that, no matter what it is, we youth today should try to adapt and have an adaptive re-use of things and only then it could be a far greater world than now. But as long as we don’t forget our roots, it’s all gonna be alright. I don’t even know if it’s true. But I’m definitely making my children think for themselves and I’ll be there to guide them or catch them when they fall. What does parent do best but to look out and care? Right? Oh well, student life has the all rounder thingy that I don’t understand. Until after this post I don’t. Maybe its time for us to just lay back, and think what is best for our future. Have an open mind to things. Then we could all be less-depressive, less-frustrated with life and just be jolly. Cheers!
I was talking to my mom bout how cruel lecturers can be sometimes. Especially in demoting us from the high level of creativity towards the level of burn ashes. Aiyah so depressing. Oh well, that’s life I guess. TAG ON LECTURERS: WE RULE, and what? Who? But after consulting my mom bout my disagreement with how lecturers are, my mom gave me a good point of view that would answer or maybe make syaza feel bit more better? Well, media is not entirely evil. People are. Tee hee. Me mama said, our generation (meaning hers.) should accept the for coming of the developing new world and how youth nowadays perceive the world, but as we preach in making the world a better place in a sense of democracy, the truth is far from reached. We are still “MALAYSIA” that somehow are still semi-nazi but in a nicer way. We are actually told of what to do, from the very beginning of our life cycle. Not to say it’s entirely wrong to have it, but it neglects the very fundamental of making people growing into diverse individuals with so many different unique qualities. Yet we mould them into about the average kind of individuals. Just look at our education system. It’s as simple as that. Go to school, get formal education, we do what teachers want us to do and sometimes we are not allowed to question. Mama said, since the very essence of time it has been that way, just that today it’s a bit more liberal. She also said that, no matter what it is, we youth today should try to adapt and have an adaptive re-use of things and only then it could be a far greater world than now. But as long as we don’t forget our roots, it’s all gonna be alright. I don’t even know if it’s true. But I’m definitely making my children think for themselves and I’ll be there to guide them or catch them when they fall. What does parent do best but to look out and care? Right? Oh well, student life has the all rounder thingy that I don’t understand. Until after this post I don’t. Maybe its time for us to just lay back, and think what is best for our future. Have an open mind to things. Then we could all be less-depressive, less-frustrated with life and just be jolly. Cheers!
Saturday, February 02, 2008
detach
i almost ramped into a car(s) today. and its not my fault. i swear.
[scene]
it was 1.26pm (i know cause it happened after i saw the clock in the car) when i was driving on the fast lane towards Bangsar to have lunch with Joe before i go home from campus, and was going not so very fast. 70-80km/h. but it still didnt help keep me safe. duh. some idiot decided to stop the car or slow down the car i dunno exactly but whole 4 cars in a linear suddenly decrease their speed. and for god's sake nothing was obstructing their way. it was miles gap between these four with the other car up front. so, for the very first time i actually used my honked out of panic. usually i don't because im shy. hah! can u imagine someone being shy to hit the honk? well im one of them. i can actually feel my car shrieking and being all wobbly. i had to stir the sterring to make it go slower so i wont hit the front car or the back car to hit me. imagine what position would i be in if all those things happen? i guess ill be squashed between metals, or my bones would have broken pieces by pieces, or my car would have exploded? since there were huge cars and lorries behind. and having to drive national car, its even worst. ours are milo tins remember? so, there i was trying to control and thank God nothing happened. i was inches away from ramping into the "GETZ" in front of me. idiots! u guys should re-take your license. aiyah! the sound of other cars hooting and tires shrieking was very loud. i was already partly saying my prayers. the picture of how my family got the news was playing vividly in my head. its a pretty scary moment. but im thankful nothing happened to me or the car. so yeah, imagine that!
my worst pre-accident so far... (i dont have many if ure wondering...)
night. xoxo
[scene]
it was 1.26pm (i know cause it happened after i saw the clock in the car) when i was driving on the fast lane towards Bangsar to have lunch with Joe before i go home from campus, and was going not so very fast. 70-80km/h. but it still didnt help keep me safe. duh. some idiot decided to stop the car or slow down the car i dunno exactly but whole 4 cars in a linear suddenly decrease their speed. and for god's sake nothing was obstructing their way. it was miles gap between these four with the other car up front. so, for the very first time i actually used my honked out of panic. usually i don't because im shy. hah! can u imagine someone being shy to hit the honk? well im one of them. i can actually feel my car shrieking and being all wobbly. i had to stir the sterring to make it go slower so i wont hit the front car or the back car to hit me. imagine what position would i be in if all those things happen? i guess ill be squashed between metals, or my bones would have broken pieces by pieces, or my car would have exploded? since there were huge cars and lorries behind. and having to drive national car, its even worst. ours are milo tins remember? so, there i was trying to control and thank God nothing happened. i was inches away from ramping into the "GETZ" in front of me. idiots! u guys should re-take your license. aiyah! the sound of other cars hooting and tires shrieking was very loud. i was already partly saying my prayers. the picture of how my family got the news was playing vividly in my head. its a pretty scary moment. but im thankful nothing happened to me or the car. so yeah, imagine that!
my worst pre-accident so far... (i dont have many if ure wondering...)
night. xoxo
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
If...
studying today is a stress factor. Research Method is one of a kind subject. no playing games here. dont intend to flunk it either. so im crossing my fingers and hoping for the best. nina has to gear up. and i am... starting now! *grin*
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
momentum
24 January 2008
Yesterday – miserable, depressing
Like so many others, I have a life. Life I can be proud of. A general birth of happiness, joy and laughters has always been within me but somehow days are gloomy now. Maybe its stress related to school workload, maybe its family, or maybe its friends. I’m not sure. But I know its not you. You’ve been the punching bag, without you this won’t emerge positively. Thank you. Have anyone ever felt that the world just exploded or have fallen unto your head? How does that feel? Technically speaking I don’t know, but I can imagine it to be so dreadfully painful. I’m coming to a similar phase where I can’t think straight. I can’t function well. My brain has just failed on me. It’s still running profusely but in a hijacked environment. I’m tired of things spinning and failing me. It’s frustrating. If until here, you’re tired of reading this, u may leave. Don’t waste ur time reading. I won’t take it to heart plus I don’t need anyone judging me. Cause this is what I feel. Being the simple old nina. So, when one day someone feels what I feel now, then come to me and talk because I would love to know how u deal with it.
Loving is hard. Has always been especially if it leaves u weak, vulnerable and unable to act correctly. And you know u want to do something about it but you just can’t. I don’t know how to define this. Is the people around you cruel or are you? Is it too much to ask for a little attention or affection when u need it? or is that not a rightful thing to expect? Selfish much? Oh my, I can’t differentiate the right from wrong anymore. Joe told me I’m a spoil brat. Maybe I am but despite that I know ill do anything in my power to make everyone around me happy. And it’s a tiring job. I’m not asking to be praised like an angel for what I’m born naturally of. But appreciation once in awhile makes it all good. For as long as I live, I have known that people will not come to me without purpose especially from those whom I love deeply. Why do people come to me anyways? Am I like that old rug on the floor that when u need to wipe your feet dry or clean, only then you come to me for cleaning help? I don’t want to be that person anymore. It’s sad. Why can’t people like to be around me just because I’m a great person to be with? Sometimes I think it’s because I’m an easy person to step on, or taken for a ride for. In simple English, taken for granted of. Now I know how my mom feels. Frustration is the root of all depression. It’s evil. And I’m learning and taking baby steps to not fall for it anymore. Why should I if no one elses care?
Days are faster now you know. The more ure towards your end, the faster it gets. And im feeling it now. Your time, my time may end any second. Not now but maybe a second later. Maybe mine would be when I sleep? I dunno. I am not saying im ready for it but I pray my death won’t be as painful as this. I hope no one else have to feel this. It’s equivalent to someone stabbing a knife in your heart and just leaves it there. I wonder who will be at my funeral. “Syaza said she is afraid no one will come to her wedding, don’t worry darling, I’ll definitely come. Cause it means the whole world to me to see you happy and well lit on your glorious day.” Im not thinking about marriage though, but if one day I die, I do not want to die in regret that I’ve not done what I’ve always wanted to do. Ill make sure my death wish list is accomplished. And if ure not true in being my friend, I don’t want you around when I’m on my death bed. Because I want to leave the world with people who honestly want to be there to bid me my final goodbye. Make sure no one cries ok? I can see you… :)
Good night now. xoxo
Yesterday – miserable, depressing
Like so many others, I have a life. Life I can be proud of. A general birth of happiness, joy and laughters has always been within me but somehow days are gloomy now. Maybe its stress related to school workload, maybe its family, or maybe its friends. I’m not sure. But I know its not you. You’ve been the punching bag, without you this won’t emerge positively. Thank you. Have anyone ever felt that the world just exploded or have fallen unto your head? How does that feel? Technically speaking I don’t know, but I can imagine it to be so dreadfully painful. I’m coming to a similar phase where I can’t think straight. I can’t function well. My brain has just failed on me. It’s still running profusely but in a hijacked environment. I’m tired of things spinning and failing me. It’s frustrating. If until here, you’re tired of reading this, u may leave. Don’t waste ur time reading. I won’t take it to heart plus I don’t need anyone judging me. Cause this is what I feel. Being the simple old nina. So, when one day someone feels what I feel now, then come to me and talk because I would love to know how u deal with it.
Loving is hard. Has always been especially if it leaves u weak, vulnerable and unable to act correctly. And you know u want to do something about it but you just can’t. I don’t know how to define this. Is the people around you cruel or are you? Is it too much to ask for a little attention or affection when u need it? or is that not a rightful thing to expect? Selfish much? Oh my, I can’t differentiate the right from wrong anymore. Joe told me I’m a spoil brat. Maybe I am but despite that I know ill do anything in my power to make everyone around me happy. And it’s a tiring job. I’m not asking to be praised like an angel for what I’m born naturally of. But appreciation once in awhile makes it all good. For as long as I live, I have known that people will not come to me without purpose especially from those whom I love deeply. Why do people come to me anyways? Am I like that old rug on the floor that when u need to wipe your feet dry or clean, only then you come to me for cleaning help? I don’t want to be that person anymore. It’s sad. Why can’t people like to be around me just because I’m a great person to be with? Sometimes I think it’s because I’m an easy person to step on, or taken for a ride for. In simple English, taken for granted of. Now I know how my mom feels. Frustration is the root of all depression. It’s evil. And I’m learning and taking baby steps to not fall for it anymore. Why should I if no one elses care?
Days are faster now you know. The more ure towards your end, the faster it gets. And im feeling it now. Your time, my time may end any second. Not now but maybe a second later. Maybe mine would be when I sleep? I dunno. I am not saying im ready for it but I pray my death won’t be as painful as this. I hope no one else have to feel this. It’s equivalent to someone stabbing a knife in your heart and just leaves it there. I wonder who will be at my funeral. “Syaza said she is afraid no one will come to her wedding, don’t worry darling, I’ll definitely come. Cause it means the whole world to me to see you happy and well lit on your glorious day.” Im not thinking about marriage though, but if one day I die, I do not want to die in regret that I’ve not done what I’ve always wanted to do. Ill make sure my death wish list is accomplished. And if ure not true in being my friend, I don’t want you around when I’m on my death bed. Because I want to leave the world with people who honestly want to be there to bid me my final goodbye. Make sure no one cries ok? I can see you… :)
Good night now. xoxo
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Silly
i had quizzess today. one down and another to rant. hah! i hate today. its ironic how i can hate life easily now. hate hate hate. is that too mean to judge? wadeva
ok, its been a week that i stayed in my compartment. it seems so colourful when i got back. i wonder why? somehow i've forgotten that the carpets on the floor and the things i paste on the walls make it alive. well, its still boring because of the abiding rules but its still nice.
had dinner with my roommates and syaza last night. and played uno at mali. how cool is that? i told you my friends can be rather bizzarre. but in a good way. i love them. how could i not like what little things they do? *GRIN* so last night was a good come back.
ida was dancing last night while i was cracking my head to remember notes but to my amusement i cant see her less than that. she is always this impromptu roommate i've had since 1st year. its been 3yrs now living with my partially retarded roomie. we had our rows, differences and hatreds. but thats it. we always do that when we love someone. maybe out of dissapointment? *chehhh* but i have to say, ida rocks my head hard with all the things she likes to do in the room, enclosed by 4 hideous white walls. is your head starting to ponder what? well come join me in the room for some wild experience. hahahaha i make her sound like a pole dancer. sharks. i shouldn't do that, as it would give complimentary remarks for her. stop. erase. teee heee. but i love u anyway. Isk is following in her footstep. hopefully u don't turn into a wild monkey or a hamster per se isk. *smile* oh thats my other new roomie. and i like her too. she blends well.
so, 2moro is another public holiday. thaipusam. i wonder who among us are carrying the kabadi thingy. it must be a hell of a pain. to those celebrating, have an blessed festival. to those who are just going to enjoy the holidays, lets go kite flying or karaoke!? yes??? lets do something while im in campus. hahahhaha u know ull miss me....xoxo.
ok, its been a week that i stayed in my compartment. it seems so colourful when i got back. i wonder why? somehow i've forgotten that the carpets on the floor and the things i paste on the walls make it alive. well, its still boring because of the abiding rules but its still nice.
had dinner with my roommates and syaza last night. and played uno at mali. how cool is that? i told you my friends can be rather bizzarre. but in a good way. i love them. how could i not like what little things they do? *GRIN* so last night was a good come back.
ida was dancing last night while i was cracking my head to remember notes but to my amusement i cant see her less than that. she is always this impromptu roommate i've had since 1st year. its been 3yrs now living with my partially retarded roomie. we had our rows, differences and hatreds. but thats it. we always do that when we love someone. maybe out of dissapointment? *chehhh* but i have to say, ida rocks my head hard with all the things she likes to do in the room, enclosed by 4 hideous white walls. is your head starting to ponder what? well come join me in the room for some wild experience. hahahaha i make her sound like a pole dancer. sharks. i shouldn't do that, as it would give complimentary remarks for her. stop. erase. teee heee. but i love u anyway. Isk is following in her footstep. hopefully u don't turn into a wild monkey or a hamster per se isk. *smile* oh thats my other new roomie. and i like her too. she blends well.
so, 2moro is another public holiday. thaipusam. i wonder who among us are carrying the kabadi thingy. it must be a hell of a pain. to those celebrating, have an blessed festival. to those who are just going to enjoy the holidays, lets go kite flying or karaoke!? yes??? lets do something while im in campus. hahahhaha u know ull miss me....xoxo.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Maturity Sucks
I’ve never realized that being an adult is so hard, difficult and stressful. What happened to my stressed free environment? This is not a self-realization or what so ever. Just a statement in my account. Everything started when I had to hunt for a place for practical training and having to do 21.5 crdt hr for this semester. It leaves me hectic, tired and robotic. How I wished I didn’t push myself. But I cant stand leaving on campus any longer so opt for this. Aiyah. Its not that I don’t get time for myself. I get it every weekend but somehow it has always been about college. Either educational or the complimentary things that came with it upon registration. Assignments are pilling up and mid terms are on the roll. I officially can say I HATE MY LIFE. And honestly, I need a break. I think ill do that right after I finish my degree. Hopefully my endurance is strong. *cross-fingers* sadly, the only time my mind is free was when I went shopping with my family today. I bought lotsa colourful clothes that I like. Im happy that I didn’t-not even once thought of the pile of work I have to do. Im glad. Glad to have fun-loving family as my comfort zone. Me Love....
Thursday, January 17, 2008
What i just realized...
days go by so quickly nowadays. i was in the car just now with joe and i asked him,
"bie, what day is 2moro?" he answered, "friday la syg.." i was like, f*ck! its friday already?
i felt it was only yesterday that its sunday; when i had to pick up my dad and say bye to joe. not permanently though just mutual bye bye. ok, i have to admit that my brain capacity to remember things and to function efficiently has drained. i feel tired most of the time, i feel like i have less time to do so many things in my to do list (and i always fail to finish all of everything daily), and like i've neglected most people that i should spend time with (esp. sue and kuhaz cause they are leaving in less than 7weeks) just because everyone around me is suddenly so demanding. im not saying its entirely everyone elses' and not mine. but you know sometimes blaming other people makes me feel better bout myself. cause at least i see myself not so screwed up. no matter how screwed up i can be. geez... i know i know i know its a bad trait but i don't do it on purpose. most are with perfect reasons why. i think.
ive been re- eading this entire post. its not even impressive. and not even nice to read. when i re-read it, i just see lines lines and lines of crap. ok. stop. rewind. i hate this. so much to do but so little time. i use to be so good at time management. now im just all screwed. this is serious. on top of that, im always out of money these days cause i spend it on necessary things like petrol. if i would just stay in campus and not go back and forth i would save at least 30% of my petrol expanses a month. but noooo...nina likes to be the wonder women for other people but never ever put herself first. WHY? cause u can call me dum dum. yes indeed. meet Miss Dum Dum.
i am forever complaining but im not doing anything bout it. and here my friends especially the closest to me have to hear my whines and swearing. or sometimes i just have this play technique of my own playing in my head. im acting like a kid again. i can't disclose myself openly to the public cause i think people will hate me. so i retreat into my comfort zone and talk to myself inside my head. now i make myself sound crazy. maybe i should see a shrink. cause even when i dont do anything wrong, ill cry and think i did. pressure is getting into me. i can seem happy, but im not. i can seem sad and glum but im just the total opposite. how to know my absolute truth? negative. even i dont know myself.
i should stop before my brain cracks into pieces. i need a break. maybe go for a holiday by the beach alone in the bahamas. i dont need anyone. im a fake. i need to stop talking. i feel sorry for myself.
xoxo
"bie, what day is 2moro?" he answered, "friday la syg.." i was like, f*ck! its friday already?
i felt it was only yesterday that its sunday; when i had to pick up my dad and say bye to joe. not permanently though just mutual bye bye. ok, i have to admit that my brain capacity to remember things and to function efficiently has drained. i feel tired most of the time, i feel like i have less time to do so many things in my to do list (and i always fail to finish all of everything daily), and like i've neglected most people that i should spend time with (esp. sue and kuhaz cause they are leaving in less than 7weeks) just because everyone around me is suddenly so demanding. im not saying its entirely everyone elses' and not mine. but you know sometimes blaming other people makes me feel better bout myself. cause at least i see myself not so screwed up. no matter how screwed up i can be. geez... i know i know i know its a bad trait but i don't do it on purpose. most are with perfect reasons why. i think.
ive been re- eading this entire post. its not even impressive. and not even nice to read. when i re-read it, i just see lines lines and lines of crap. ok. stop. rewind. i hate this. so much to do but so little time. i use to be so good at time management. now im just all screwed. this is serious. on top of that, im always out of money these days cause i spend it on necessary things like petrol. if i would just stay in campus and not go back and forth i would save at least 30% of my petrol expanses a month. but noooo...nina likes to be the wonder women for other people but never ever put herself first. WHY? cause u can call me dum dum. yes indeed. meet Miss Dum Dum.
i am forever complaining but im not doing anything bout it. and here my friends especially the closest to me have to hear my whines and swearing. or sometimes i just have this play technique of my own playing in my head. im acting like a kid again. i can't disclose myself openly to the public cause i think people will hate me. so i retreat into my comfort zone and talk to myself inside my head. now i make myself sound crazy. maybe i should see a shrink. cause even when i dont do anything wrong, ill cry and think i did. pressure is getting into me. i can seem happy, but im not. i can seem sad and glum but im just the total opposite. how to know my absolute truth? negative. even i dont know myself.
i should stop before my brain cracks into pieces. i need a break. maybe go for a holiday by the beach alone in the bahamas. i dont need anyone. im a fake. i need to stop talking. i feel sorry for myself.
xoxo
Friday, January 11, 2008
World Drums Festival
2 weeks before the World Drums Festival, i met my biological dad for the first time after 5 longs years. it wasnt as awkward as i imagine it would be. just a few emotional turmoil. my brother admitted the day after the meet that he actually felt like crying when he saw my dad. not that my dad looks sickly or anything, just that its been sooo sooo long. and it stirred some emotions in him. for my brother to admit that its a huge thing. he never was the type who would let out. moments after, i cried. just by knowing how deep the feeling my brother is going through. *as usual* but thats that....
so for the pre-new year celebration i was with my sister and dad for the World Drums Festival (29th December 2007). it was fantastic. 8countries participated including our very own Malaysian drummers. and the beautiful part was, the collaboration is so nice and we have our very own STOMP group. they are the environmentalist of Malaysia. and they are incredibly good. and did i mention bout their conductor? wow wee. he is hot. ok stop. i cannot exaggerate as it will stir another turmoil. tee hee. the overall performances was great. cant wait for them to come again next year! all of them indeed. kudos to the organizers and performers and also who ever that made it happen.
last but not least, new year was great until the very last moment, the festival was tip top, and most important i spent quality time with papa. it made my 2007 complete. *grin*
Happy New Year 2008 and Salam Maal Hijrah.
:)
so for the pre-new year celebration i was with my sister and dad for the World Drums Festival (29th December 2007). it was fantastic. 8countries participated including our very own Malaysian drummers. and the beautiful part was, the collaboration is so nice and we have our very own STOMP group. they are the environmentalist of Malaysia. and they are incredibly good. and did i mention bout their conductor? wow wee. he is hot. ok stop. i cannot exaggerate as it will stir another turmoil. tee hee. the overall performances was great. cant wait for them to come again next year! all of them indeed. kudos to the organizers and performers and also who ever that made it happen.
last but not least, new year was great until the very last moment, the festival was tip top, and most important i spent quality time with papa. it made my 2007 complete. *grin*
Happy New Year 2008 and Salam Maal Hijrah.
:)
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