Farewell.....

im sadden of the fact that im leaving kuching approximately in 2hours time. ill be leaving a lot of fun, joy and laughter times i had for the whole 2months. im attached to it. and i dont want to leave. i found a reason to be jolly again. its a nice feeling. i hate to leave. hate hate hate it. and knowing for a fact that i wouldnt be back until raya makes me severely heart broken. i will miss everything around here. the comfort of home, the happiness with friends, my joyous relationship afar and the hot spot of lepak-ing in my hometown. so here is to the travel and summon of the other reality world. may God be with everyone i love. cause each and everyone of you are special to me.

"take care of them for me ok?"

infinity of hugs and kisses goes out to all my family and friends that im leaving. we will be reunited soon! happy coming fasting! we will meet for raya.

:)

Lots of Love,
Nina

"If God Made You"

Hey Kid... Your time has come to change
Though I need you more than I've needed anyone in any way tonight
Hey Kid... I know it won't be long
The Captain's calling...come to see you back where we belong

Something inside me is breaking
Something inside says there's somewhere better than this...

Sunset sailing on April skies
Bloodshot fire clouds in her eyes
I can't say what I might believe
But if God made you he's in love with me

Hey Kid...Do wishes count at all
Can you give me a sign...give me anything I won't tell a soul you told
Hey Kid...Will you hold me when I sleep
Will you find me when the tide decides that I got to leave

Something inside me is breaking
Something inside says there's somewhere better than this...

Sunset sailing on April skies
Bloodshot fire clouds in her eyes
I can't say what I might believe
But if God made you he's in love with me

Sunset sailing on April skies
Bloodshot fire clouds in your eyes
I can't say what I might believe
But if God made you he's in love with me

Something inside me is breaking
Something inside says there's somewhere better than this my love

Sunset sailing on April skies
Bloodshot fire clouds in her eyes
I can't say what I might believe
But if God made you he's in love with me

Sunset sailing on April skies
Bloodshot fire clouds in your eyes
I can't say what I might believe
But if God made you... he's in love with me...

By,
Five For Fighting

writing my retarded self...

im miserable. im depress. but somehow i can see the light at the end of the tunnel. the light is dimming but i can still see it. how can he be so cruel? how can he not feel the void like i do? but it has always been about a HE. why cant it be something else that im sadden of. why should it be a HE? im sick of games. im sick of dissaproves. and forbidden love is reflected as the best of all. you know why? cause its simply irresistable. and the anxiety u get out of it is pure satisfaction. but in the end it was doomed. this is my modern romeo and juliet story. but at least romeo and juliet were looked up to as one of the best love story of life. mine? just a monochrome of it. i wish it was simplier...i really do. but somehow its not. life oh life. i will miss those moments. but oll live it thru. as what a favourite saying of myself..."some are just not meant to be...." im strong. i can do it! but i never regret knowing you. The HE that showed me how to live a fun life and not think of anything but happiness. but things changed. and its a sad change. but i will always remember you. yeah i will. cause finally someone made me cry the dry tears. a big deal in my dictionary. im happy you found someone else...and thank you for being mine for those little times...*hugs&kisses*

My 21st....

MY INVITATION CARD

Turning 21 is one of the occasion that you would want to share with the rest of the world. well, in my case it was just that. i was happy with everything. i had a wonderful party that turned out to be the best thing ever! puuuurrrrrfeeeccttttt! i celebrated with my whole family and lovely friends. and to them i have to thank. for brightening my birthday this year more. there is a list of people i could never say enough thank you-s to, but here it goes...

firstly, thank you mama for everything. from the huge amount of bills to having to tahan with me making so much tantrum at home due to "stress". i thought it only happened to brides but i had anxiety attack of course. *hahahah* to appa, thank you for being the person who made it possible for me to look good that night. the arrival of shoes and jewelleries at the precise moment. to aunty kiah, the bead work was wonderful! thank you.

and special thanks i convey to my hardworking cousin cum party planner; kak nina for making this possible to pull off within a week. i feel your stress too. but i know u loved every bit of it! and to her brother iskandar thanks for the incredible mixture of so many drinks that i now have forgotten their names as ive gotten so drunk that night. but it was all so damn good. if i ever open a club you will definately hear from me! *as if la kan...*

to my friend mizie, oh gosh i can never thank you enough. you helped me go thru everything. thanks a lot chap! i sooo loveee you. from my disastrous pinata to the shopping spree of my dress. *smiles*

to my BROTHER, ure so wonderful that u pulled together a band just for the sake of me having a band to play within short notice. not forgetting the endless time u had to practice to make sure the songs are perfect. im so sorry i had to be an ass to u. but i so love you! thank you. to the band thank you too. and my little sister thanks for helping me out with the preparation of my invitation cards. ure the most silent person i know in the world that dont even grumble when i asked so many things of you. thank you sis. i love you.

my friend radhi, ure the bomb girl! thanks for designing my invitation. u definately know me in and out. i likkkeee! emma, thanks for being a good spot when i need to have few laughs during the week and being a good company while shopping.

kak ma, the tuak was fantastic! we had more of it in sematan thou...hehehe ure the best! yasmine, ure a good niece! uve been the one that helped me in times of crisis. thanks for being there at the right time.

and to the lovely chef melvin who have made my cake a wonderful one. its my dream cake and its yummylicious....wooohooo!

lets see, to my family from my aunties, uncles and all my cousins and nieces-nephews, thanks for celebrating my birthday with me and made it a memoriable day. dear friends, you all made it a night to remember! just for coming. to those who got sloshed...i bet u will never forget the day huh? kekeke Not forgetting to those who gave me presents. thank you. i love each and every one of it. *grin* i feel like a small kid all over again. teeheee.

oh ya, special tribute to my mr roy montana. thank you for taking care and being my personal body guard that night. from driving me to the hotel and also taking me home safely. i know i was a serious mess for u to take care but i appreciate you helping. thank you....

if i forget anyone im so sorry. my memory is not functioning so well. as a summary, the party was a blast. and thanks to each and every one of YOU. i love you guys heaps! and do check out the pictures and videos through my multiply. thank you again....

The One and Only Me.....

My Birthday...

it all started like any other ordinary birthdays everyone has. u know, the basic wishes and calls from loved ones when they are far away. and i like the old traditional way. cause its feels familiar. thank you to those who wished me on my birthday. im really flattered. it means a lot. *smiles*

ok the interesting part is yet to be revealed. as the time goes by yesterday, it ticks slowly. woke up at the slightest creek of sound. the renovation sound...*dum dum* so my day started early! and then the rest of the day just pass by like any other normal days. only at 12midnight (eve of my birthday) was my the ultimate possesion. my friends waited for the clock to strike 12, to wish me happy...and im glad you guys were there. *hugs&kisses* coming back to the story during the day...well, nothing happen la. it passed just like that. Mom brought me for lunch, and the day continued to be the same again. until just now...where 2 of my friends came to have dinner with me. and as usual, i dont eat! "have to get ready for the big day!!!" to cut the long story short...i like the story of-just now. cause....i feel special. he likes. *grin* ok. im done narrating...ask me about it....doodles! and goodnight.

p/s: im nervous for friday...hopefully its all ok.

Lots of Love,
Nina

MONDAY

im happy...being being happy. and me mama said me can go go to the beachy! yeay! and there comes the interesting part...................me and frenzy all going. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

me likeyyy

today is a cool day. i like today. and i feel its a blooming day....a start of a different story. and particularly a happy one...IM HAPPYYYYYYY! lets be merry....i like!

my retarded brain

u dazzle my days with your smile, and you sparkle my nights with your face in my dreams. how i wish i could hold you and never let go. how i wish it was ok to do just that. but its not. not in your eyes i think. i miss you everyday... *sigh* and i wonder if you know it. i want to talk to you everyday..but i wonder if u would mind...i want to see you 24/7. but is that ok too? one day maybe ill tell you this. but the day would have to wait. cause losing you is far worst then keeping this feeling lock inside. so love, i wish u merry! and i will wait til the day both of us are totally readyyyy......

Lots of Love,
Nina

A friend...

i didnt know ure sick...and u didnt even tell me? why? what a bad person i can be...and far worst i took it for granted that everybody is ok....cause i tot it would be just like that. and because i tot nobody would be far worst than i could be...im sorry. im wrong. i wasnt there for you, never was and i didnt even bother to check on you.....im truly sorry.

IMPORTANT!!!!

to my family and those who came with us on the trip! do help yourself to some of the china pictures ive posted on multiply!! its on the left handside....so enjoy! if u want the fullversion (softcopy) tell me aight!

*hugs&kisses*

AMANINA

The Trip

ok lets see what i have insight for you people. came back from china yesterday at 430am. and it was a tiring journey. had to travel from shanghai to hangzhou back and that took us 4hours to reach cause we had to take the immediate flight from hangzhou to kuching. (thanks to the idea of chartering the plane!! geez) and that is another 5hours. in total we travelled more than 10hours. darn it was tiring! and i definately stink! hehe despite all the bus travel and sight seeing to all those different different gardens and historic places, china was not so bad. minus the food and toilet condition lah. it can be an ideal gateaway for shoppers though. i just wish we had more time to shop. i would have bought more and for everyone. but im happy with my buy. finally i shopped for myself. and for my new bedroom! woohoooo... and ive spent all my working money on it. and im satisfied. *smiles*

so, in summarization my china trip is...

family fun + family gossips + group pictures at all those weird places + shopping + sightseeing + disastrous food + gruesome toilets + hilarious tour guide + me being happy = MY CHINA!

p/s: too bad i didnt get to see any hot dudes on the street...i wonder where they went!?

p/p/s: to my cousins, do check our pictures on my multiply. ill be uploading it soon. miss u guys much! mwahs

nina
xoxo

HardDrive

ok, remember those days when you would just sit down with few close friends and everything feels so ultimately right? just a friendly chat, from sitting by the road side, to the old chang kee "kedai kopi" or this most glamorous cafe with the small touch of luxury? well, i still remember those innocent days. not to mention money rolled out of pockets as we may sit down there for hours just to pass time. but it was the best. and i want those times to recollect. it has the undeniable feel of security and happiness. and the only thing we talk about is...."ermmm..let me see, everything?!" *LOL* those were the daysss...

reminiscing through the lovely time of family trips. we've been all over and yet we cant get enough of ourselves. from the immediate family to the very furthest of relationship. we love everyone in a similar way. thats to the max. we get on everybody's nerve once in awhile. but thats what families are for. we bitch about one another and we attempt to kill each other slowly by the word of "wisdom." NOT! but life since small have been fun because of the trips. its been a look forward thing to. and its been 4years since i had a big gateaway with the whole family. and im looking forward to this china trip. it will be another long row of quarrelling, yelling and shouting. and bad mouthing, and who will pay the excess luggage due to, too much shopping but its all good in the end. because we love each other and we are together. despite what everyone may think of us, we are united. thick blood is never to be chopped. so my family, here we go! and let this be a blast.

while writing this post, i got a call. a baby is crying through the ear piece. and from that moment i know my cousin just gave birth. thank god both are safe as we were worried the previous night when the embrical cord was around the baby's neck...but they are fine. fit as a bull. welcome to the family dearest prince! we will surely treat you as one. i wonder how it feels to give birth. its so nice to suddenly have something you own. and nobody can take it away. to see those cute little baby fingers and toes...with his first smile or cry when he sees you. oh how adorable. i cant wait to have a kid of my own. it would be the best ever thing happening to me. not that im saying im ready now, but the idea sure looks tempting. but i know my journey in life is unfinished. until i get what ive dreamed of, i wont embark into that just yet. babies will be the completion of my life. "Pelengkap hidupku..." aiyer thats "jiwang."

life as teens and young adults are always complicated. im experiencing it now. from the love damage, head damage, heart flip flops, rows with family members, fashion victim or icon, to the "it" group, and the list goes onn..... but who cares for all those? just be urself, like i always convince myself and hear my mom advise me, but how can you? when the rest of the world population is thinking in that way? there are so many books written on the subject. i once saw my cousin reading a book. and honestly i think its pathetic. the title is "how to be popular..." what the f*ck? do we really need to read all this shit? i know some self-help books are pretty awesome and it works. but this particular one im skeptical of. and i feel bad if someone thinks she is lesser than another if she's not popular. popularity is to be earned not bought. and different people will have different popularity. if u want a socialite life, make sure u be one. but dont be something ure not. doing things just to impress another being is just dreadful and a waste of time. im sick and tired of people telling me, no ure not good for this, hey, you should do this. screw it. im doing things my way. and who can stop me? only myself. im on a petition of self happiness. and who is with me?!!?? im happy...so let it be. dont disturb my teritory. cause it is totally restrcited to parasites, wananbe, fakers, and dishonest people. be true to yourself. and one day you'll find the rightful happiness.

*cross-fingers* hoping mine is going to work...

its been a wild ride. im stopping something for good. and i hope ill have the strength to do just that. welcome to the world of dellusion.

NinaLiyana

my own misery....

you know, i never thought today may come. ive always had dreams about it. since i was very little. i wake up in tears sometimes thinking of what ive just dreamed. unfortunately the day came. this is what i call a phase of change. its a total 360deg turning zone. i dont blame anyone for whatever that is happening or about to happen. they have their own reason why they choose to do something. the hardest part is never to feel that love again. or even feel the warm touch of someone uve known your whole life. and also to know they have stop loving you. one day, ill be like them. but hopefully i will never have to make decisions like this upon anyone. im so sorry for whatever that has happened. i never meant to be the person who ruins the bond. but i just did. and for that i have a whole lifetime to regret it. goodnight my heartlovers. i will always miss you. *virtual hug*

Love,
Nina

all because of you

i never thought the day would come. but it did. i will always remember the date 31st March 2007. its a day of memories. the day he says he loves me for the very first time. thank you for making the feeling happen. this a beautiful beginning. *smiles* despite what ever happens from now, this is going to be my fantasy of a lifetime. one day if this relation fails, this is the memory ill remember to keep me smiling. my love, my obsession. and obviously, i love you too.

p/s: my dad met him today....i wonder whats playing in their heads.


Love,
Nina

rock on with life

theres no time for sappiness, theres no time for regrets, but there is always time for fun-filling activities. yes? for the past few weeks life was actually a wild rollercoaster ride. i didnt expect it to be so much fun but it was. and ironically i like it.

people fall in and out of love, and no one can ever predict when the true love comes around until uve finally lost it to this big big dellusional world.

ive come across 2 person that are trying to live life separately and act like they dont need each other but in actual fact they do. the signals and symptoms are so obvious. they match each other perfectly in so many ways but why is it so hard to be one? they get jealous of each other, they hate each other in so many cute ways, and they just have this sparkles around them that will set them on fire any minute. thats the hotness of that relationship.

well from my perspective of mind, sometimes what we see is deceiving. and we may think it could work but it wouldnt, but when we think it wouldnt it would. some people can look like they complete each other but in other fact they are just so wrong....im not trying to be a negativist. but this are facts.

one day ill find MY mr right. love is too complicated when someone plays game within. so, ill just sit back relax and pretend i dont need it. soon it'll gradually falls. maybe this is the phase im waiting my whole lifetime for. but i wouldnt dare bet everything on it. cause its too early to say. people change, people lie, people stop loving, people stop caring. i hope you wont. for now, i fell for you because of YOU! the person i look up to....come back fast....

+Nina the Gorgeousness+

Got Tagged

Each player of this game starts off with ten weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own ten weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose six people to be tagged and list their names. No tagbacks!

1- ok i dont have anything weird to say bout myself cause im not weird. weird huh? :)
2- the more people say i look fat, or ive gained weight, the more i would stuff my face with food. so dont start with it...
3-i hate looking in the mirror. i look hideous in it.
4- but i like taking pictures cause im photogenic? hehehhe
5-once when i was in highschool my teacher called me by the name NORA. it was even on my matric card. aiyo...that name and me, dont match. the total yin and yang. i hated it til i refuse to see the teacher for almost a week.
6-i have a very imaginative innerchild that could rule over my head once in awhile. nothing like chucky but dangerous for my health though...
7-my choice of music is the old/retro-ish type. it helps me get in touch with my future self. the future old me. hehe
8-the fact is, im a cindian+malay,but i dont even look close to what ever i am mix with.go figure!
9-im in a crisis of love. i told my mom that im giving her the full responsibility to find me my groom. so, that part of my future is settled. hehe even if i dont believe in arrange marriage, this idea seems the best for now. haha (not that i want it soon...age 30 pls!)
10-im a faker and always horny. hahahahhaha

so kuhaz, ive done this. where's my reward?
here's the list of people i tagged are AQISS,WANDY, JARL, EIN, DAYDECK & SYEEQ....

whats in my head

i see things around me and i stop. i see myself in the mirror then i stop. i see my friends sobbing, laughing, and smiling, that makes me stop and wonder about this is life. the world is so full of miraculous events that we are sometimes too busy to notice. i always thought life would be easier when the IT world comes around, but what happens is actually not what they predicted. world has became complicated by day since the new evolution. it has became violent, inconsiderate and too modern for any human minds to handle. and yet we want the modernity to continue. well, call me old fashioned but this is the truth. instead of being able to spend our time for more than just one thing a day, we end up being busy over a particular detail. finding money is the only thing that matters in this world. you dont have money, no one will look up to you with dignity. how i wish life is much simpler. like the one narrated in our childhood story books. where life of a family is full of love and simplicity. where did the beauty go?

we see corrupted youth out there. no one is stopping them. why? cause we are all corrupted inside and the corrupters. why make a big fuss of loiters, drug addicts, bribery if we ourselves dont change. preaching is good. but when u cant preach to yourself to do good, nothing u say to
others makes any difference.

i always tell myself not to talk a lot. just keep quiet and listen. but i just cant do just that. i have so many things to say to each and everyone of you. and so does i hope you people will tell me things that makes me learn. especially my friends. i have so much to say but i am just holding it in....what do you have to say about me?

i see a friend of mind being idiotic, it hurts inside. i see my friend being foolish, i weep inside. and i see all my friends not happy, i feel bad inside. i see my friend ruining his life cause of stupidity, it bleeds me inside. there's so much of life than those you have done. you could do better than that. truthfully. i may look like i dont care but do you know exactly how i feel inside when i see you hurt? when i see you not doing anything to prevent yourself from hurting? i can say a million things to each of you to help out, but if you yourself wont do anything about it or realise, i raise my case. cause to you i have love for, to you i care about, to you i feel close related to. you people are the source of my life. that i may want to keep a life long more.

families are your guardian angels. to keep you safe from harm. thats what my mom especially, did for me. but being a rebel as i am. i ignore the fact of just that. but i realise now the consequences. ill try to change. its not going to be easy but ill definately try. im sorry....

where's my love fairytale? it has gone all wrong. the fairytale gone wrong. its going to take time to get out of this entire piece of sh*t cause the wound was already there before it got cut again. but i never said i didnt have anything to remember or reminisce about. i enjoyed it. eliminate the bad things happening. i enjoyed every minute i felt love with you. if its true or not, i dont care. ill remember it as the way i want it to be remembered. one day ill tell my daughters to stop and think first before accepting a friendly smile from one sweet guy. and thats you...

smack that

im waiting patiently while the clock is ticking. tick tock. tick tock. boyz 11 men is soon. and im freaking going!!! me-happy! blimey...its so exciting. why cant my family move faster. get our arses in genting pronto! need to pick up tix summore. aiyo! but im happy. i hope its a fun show. if not ill strangle them to death. joke! even if its not good also ill be blinded by the fact that they are in kl and im watching them LIVEEEEEEEEEEE. yes yes. ok, im not gonna rub anything in anyone faces anymore. i know some of u may not care much but some must be just so so so jealous. so please, what ever u feel while reading this. keep it to yourself. cause i dont care. hehe joke! take care people. geez its been a long time since i wrote in here. chioa people!

xoxo

NEW YEAR

happy new year little earthlings! its a brand new opening and im happily greeting it. i hope we accomplished our resolutions this year even if i dont have any aims. but im hoping this year is a good one. for me and for you.

the real scenario

life has a weird way to show its rebel towards people. my luck for the past 20years wasnt always on top but it wasnt even bad to start with too. but for the past 2 weeks. its been like shit. no one can understand what ive gone through. not you. so forget it. to those who has helped me along the way in making myself stronger and solving what ive gone through, i appreciate. and for what i still hold indebt with you people, ill soon repay. for you i want to say thank you. to you i hope for your life long jolly good of happy life. cause honestly. u people are the best. thank you. i love you deep down. and i mean it.

this that this

i just came back from penang last night at 1am. penang is ok. just hot. well, cant expect to do anything more than eat and visit few people we know in a short time of a day. due to my stupid meeting at 2pm today, we didnt stay 2nights as we planned earlier. but its all alright. appa met his old collegue uncle goh. and another guy that i cant remember his name. and then we went to meet my aunt from my dad's side in sungai petani. well, it wasnt anything grand but its ok. met everyone in just a short 2hours. and then we drove back to kl. the weather was melancholy last night. i drove half the way last night until i decided not to when we reach kuala kangsar. so hard to drive in that drizzle. during the drive mama said something to me... "i know whats going on in your life now, dont forget i have instincts..." hehe i just laughed. but she was damn serious for me to break up with who ever the guy im with now. apparently she thought he was a dj of some sort. yeah, in that scene but toally different. im just gonna re-think about it. so much things to consider. she said this too "you dunno if ure on a rebound unless u hit something along the way..." maybe it is true. or not. who knows? so ill sit down and think this over. good bye for now. hugs and kisses from me to everyone. special reminder...IM HAPPY.

*LOVE*

Pictures of MOI

ATTENTION!!!!!

hey beautiful people...check out new pictures i posted in multiply. just direct yourself to the my picture link. me and radhi at C.V and also raya pictures! finally i can post them. especially to my worthy cousins. go check out our raya pictures. hehe love you people!

*mwahs*

hater

im so foolish. how can i be so foolish? and how can people be so cruel. GOD! my life is fucked up again. Just because of YOU! i hate you. and i never ever want to see you! not now not ever. GO AWAY!

aie eh...

im sick of everything at this moment. i think ill die with no one around me. i know i sound pathetic but this is my chapter today. i thought things are turning for the better. but it hasnt actually. but im still partially happy. thanks to all supportive beings. big or small. *gives myself a hug* love is never easy...its tiring!

Just dont be Me! its sad...

p/s: this song is playing in my head while posting this: Maliq & d'essentials - kau yang ada dihatiku *sigh*

wha diz?

life is just a normal cycle. we are born into this world, we die into the world in our later life. but what happens in between is the interesting part. will we be the goody angel or the red devil? well, our actions speaks louder than words. thats why God keeps a record of all the actions we do. from the bad to the good ones. which weighs heavier wins. well, it sounds so simple but it takes every effort in ourselves to determine what type of person we are. i may want to be good by nature but persuaded being bad once in awhile by other forces. so yeah, i dunno anymore. what ever comes out of us is our responsibility. dont blame it on others. im trying not to. so if i blame the wrong-doings of mine onto you, dearest people, remind me about this post ok? im my own responsibility. and no other.

Love, respect and hate each other with good basis. dont just judge or pin point at others. it doesnt work that way. LIFE is BEAUTIFOOL. like you and me.

Lots of things in head,
Nina

ok. STOP.

i love my boyfriend. yes i know i do. so stop saying i dont and im on a rebound. ok? just stop. you know for a fact its not. *urghhh* ive let u go ages ago. and i am definately not turning back even how often you tell me stories that maybe in 2-3years time we will reminisce back our past and start planning our future. US together? i hope not. i dont want YOU. so bug off. i admit i love you once and i still miss you but just let go and let me live my life. i want to feel something other than your stupid lies and your denial life. So, STOP. Move on. Im on the head start. Follow your path as i follow mine. Cause i know ure not worth my time crying, sobbing and feeling sad about. So give me space to create my new life eliminating you from it. yes. zero you. thank you for those illusion u put in my head for the past 3 years. and this is a stop to it. good day!

p/s: im forever myself's.

Let go,
Nina

Secretly....

Hello World! for the past few days, i was too happy to blog (not that im less happy today, but i just felt the urge of sharing it). when ure happy you have nothing to complain. and when u dont have anything to complain, u just want to sit down and dream that this good feeling stays the same til the end of times. Prolly im living in the illusion but no one can stop me. Thank you for bringing life back into me. *special dedication for my love one and GREAT friends*

i read sue's blog on fs and saw this musical title - fiddler on the roof. oh god, im trully touched. sue has this thing of finding things that are far too sweet and cool. sue, u dah buat i terasa hati baca that dialogue. and uve proved that love can also be learned and gained after marriage life not just at the first sight. *thinking smile*

today is a special day too, because it's EJ's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE. he is my very own hustler and my personal PIRATE. hehe a year older huh bee? i hope ure wiser...and im guessing ure having the time of your life in maison at this very moment im writing this blog. well, truthfully i hope u do have fun! and drink for me also alright? i LOVE you darling. and many happy returns for you now and forever!!! *mwahs*

ok, this is my complete cycle of today...the journey of life begins here and im hoping to have the best of it. another past life gone, a new chapter im stepping in. my book is fresh and my ink is full. so i better start writing and jotting in it soon. Here's to a funfilling and exciting life ahead...cheers!

p/s: im not dumb....just too clever! *LOL

Love,
Nina

a turn over...

its strange how life can just flip it's pages within seconds, minutes or hours for that matter. what i want to tell you now is that im happy with my current life. im not expecting a tremendous change in my so-called boring life. but a girl can hope. can they? ive had it with dramas, with tears and cat-fights. i want to be happy. as simple as that. and today is a happy day. ill remember this moment till the day i die. *THE DAY NINA CHANGED* and the mark of having someone totally new in my life. HOORAY! so, im happy. happy as can be! i love you....

to the friends i lost along the way in search of myself and being so drop dead emotional; especially my UIA friends, syaza, radhi, sue, kuhaz....forgive me if i ever hurt you guys ok? i love you guys from the bottom of my heart. and i mean it. *BIG HUG*

cheers to a happy ending!

Good Old Days

Listen to this song people - Bethany Joy Lenz "Then slowly Grows"

I got to know this song from my friend, ida. and ive been listening to it ever since i got to know it. this is how i feel now...but ill always be here!

Love,

Nina

taste it....

The distance separates us, little that we know responsibilities for others threw us apart while the love petals bloom. New kids walk pass us, they come and go. Family ties broke us down, even in this power of love. We seek second chances, but wished it was the way we were before. It came down to the lonely hearts to bring out the rainy day women. So dearly beloved, may we return with accomplishment and start our mallpisode with the blaze of glory. Forget violent beauty. Cause you're my love, my blood.

Love,
Nina

YO!

"Beauty of style and good rhythm depends on simplicity..."

rooted

im back in kch already. im happy (for now...). doing nothing thats why im blogging. i feel sakit perut. thanks to all the indian food i ate 2days ago at my dad's suprise dinner. he was actually stunned to see my mom in the house. who would expect his wife flying all the way over south china sea to come see him for his birthday?!? i would never expect my boyfriend or husband for that matter to do it. cause as it is im jinxed on getting clueless boyfriends. cant they like, be more sensitive towards things? aiyo.... *sigh*

if i havent booked my flight back today, i would have joined my cousins in cynna for a blast off birthday party and get drunk. he he he but being a good daughter (im trying my level best ok!) i flew back with my parents. how i wonder what my life would be if my parents are not family oriented people. well, i dont see them often but their instructions about family unity is really firm. sometimes situations are so unpredictable. at one time they dont care, at another they get emotional over nothing or simply say a BIG no. so, thats my family. YES! BIG HAPPY FAMILY!

i miss campus life already (the wonderful bits and pieces only). i miss my BFF ida cause she is just simply heartmelting psycho. no offence ida. i miss all the fun nights we had. im glad she is a changed person. and sorry for the bitchiness ive told about you. well marah kan...but we are good and cheers to her better rs so far. take care of her dude! *wink!

when will my life start to evolve towards the better side? to get better people around me, to get genuine friends that dont have a big ego, and just fun people to chill out with. and i seriously dont want a uia lifestyle. it freaked me out for awhile. so im HAPPY. and well rooted. *hugs myself*

Love me not..i dont care,
Nina

Life List

28th October ended...there wasnt any difference in the excitement.
Raya spirit ended...
Planning Studio 3 ended...
Portfolio ended
EXAMS...are just starting in few days.
Love life is resuming back...thank GOD.
Bitchiness are arising
Caringness is at stake

and i wonder what else will end my year.
and i wonder will my life be long enough to see what i may or may not become one day?
will i see myself good for the people?
will i see myself building a happy family and taking care of my parents & siblings?

or will i just be the next person the life will soon ends? i still wonder.....

p/s: i have my own mind too...but where are you now?

Love the Loveless,
Nina

Percentages

Body State - 70% strong 30% weak

Mind State - working 80%, dont care mode 10%, asleep 10%

RAYA spirit - 40% jiggie 60% lost spirit

Family unity - 60% : so low these days

Happiness - 40%

Sadness - 60%

BITCHINESS - 100%

Friends - 50%

Love - 20%

Hate - 70%

Complacent - 10%

Total LIFE percentage - 54.54%

Thank god its still above half. so i can say my life is still normal. *wink!

living pieces......

The significance of fasting month is you can lose weight or gain weight easily. what happen to me was, the first 2 weeks i lost a lot of weight due to takde selera makan...but currently im gaining again. due to my unstoppable eating habits. i like to snack. screw me if u have a problem with that. but this is what stress does to a person that has not been eating snacks for the past year. thanks to it, now im officially having BELLY again. not much though, but it has worsen this time around.

Another good thing about fasting is, time seems to fly rather fast and i cant wait to celebrate hari raya that is just in a week's time. im done with projects. i hate them tops. i just want to get our of this UIA circle and lead a normal life without having to wear hijab (my hair drops!!!! ish..), please people around me with diplomatic measures (just not me yo!), no more staying up at night to meet project deadlines and far worst is i dont want to look at this one particular face for a long time..maybe just for now(ntah...). but i just need a break from that pathetic n fugly face. GO AWAY BITCHES!!!! *opps puasa...*

now im having GIS class, havent started yet though but im not overly eager to come. my lecturer just had HIS PMS perhaps. he blow off his madness this morning with all those stupid reasons. ok, we are just human u know. dont expect us to be robots and do everything perfectly. i seriously think he knows about our internal portfolio today. and i seriously think he knows we will be supremely busy. but what did he do? got mad because the morning session didnt come to his class this morning. why we didnt? because we had our FCUKING portfolio didnt we? and our presentation was at 10 in the morning. class was at 8. u fcuking mad? he even said he will fail the morning session students. how much crueler can he be? is there such word? maybe becoming the next cruela devil. aiyohhh....life is so sad down here in gombak. seriously! so kesian....

ok, no more swearing nina, holiday is just around the corner....HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ME!! TO ME! TO ME! and a very Happy Raya to all. may your holiday be fill with fun and smiles. i hope mine will....i miss everybody back home already. and i never ever EVER want to come back to UIA ever again. can i? *YES!!!! YIPPIE!!!!*

p/s: my parents came back from umrah today..so thats one thing to be happy about. im glad they came back safely. i hope everyone in my family came back healthy. LOVE YOU GREAT PEOPLE that is called MY PARENTS. mwahs

Deep down Love From,
NinaLiyana aka The Living Legend. *hah*

merry go-round

life is at a downfall for me now. im a saddist bitch now. life is so fcuked up. too busy to care. i neglect many people around me. i hate this situation. why did i ever enrol in this stupid course! workloads pile up like mountain high. assignments after assignments, projects after projects, diplomatic maeasures after another. i hate being around UIA people for more than a certain period of time. its sucks life out of me. especially considering the love life that never came. sharks! i told u im lame.

ok, i have many confession. one thing may lead to me losing a friend. but one day, i may just have to tell. before i hurt & humiliate her more. pity this world. im fcuked up. enough said. and screw the world LOVE, LUST, LIFE. what a girl wants is only to feel that true love from a genuine person. may this come?

ida...maybe it will. kan? *smiles*

so, guys stop being pretencious. it doesnt work. and quit playing with our vulnerable heart. its too hurtful to bare. but girls do the same to. so both genders...just STOP! ok. least u can do is respect people's feelings....cause one day it may come back to you. life is a merry go-round.

Love,
Nina

drastic measures

i have to admit that being around uia people for straight 4 months (non-stop) and nada social life has robbed my way of thinking totally. i was talking to my friends last night over dinner for our so-called "sunat" break fast about this and its actually true that im very much a changed person. i need to get back to my other life! pronto! i am not saying this is totally bad...but im really scared of this other side of me. toooooo drastic. i think it all came to mind really hard when i lost my uncle. its a new leaf turnover. and its coming so fast. i even have the intention of wearing tudong outside! and my mom was ok with it. aiyah....cannot be la like this! break. stop. argh!!! prolly this is what we call, influential mode............so for now im going to re-think this measures. and many more things to consider before taking the next huge step.

till later people. toodle loo!!!

p/s: dont assume im so bad that i dont want this change but its
just not me. i need to think deep bout this.

Love,
Nina

Monthly Update

many have happened for the past few months. and yet i have no time to update my blog to share my happy and sad moments with everyone that cares. most shocking news i got was the death news of my uncle 2 weeks ago. it seems like just yesterday i last spoke to him and hear his laughters or his sacarstic remark on things around our house. and it was 2weeks ago too he just came back from melbourne. God is Almighty. He took him after he completed his circle of visit to all his children. yes, its unfair. but maybe Allah loves him more. and he is not needed here in this life. maybe he is now smiling down at us. looking at us in amaze how we bust our energy to get things done. or maybe he is with my grandparents gathered together with love. who knows for sure? but my love, prayers and tears will always be here everytime i think of him. I LOVE you PAPA OMAN. may you rest in peace. and may your soul is put among those who are "beriman" amin.

*brushing the sad momentum away...*

life have been going really fast these days. last week i went to Penang for our urban design studies trip. it was the bomb. and from there me and syaza went back to Sungai Petani to go see my dad's side of the family. it has been like 5-6years since i last saw them. my cousin got married a year ago. and gave birth to a baby girl. its kinda cool. other nephews n nieces are in good condition. my cousins are looking good. some changed totally and some remain the same. i think thats what life is all about. changes and circles. Mak Long is in good condition. She's fine. and my 2days stay was worthwhile. i wished i could stay longer but i have classes. i may come back again one day.

assignments are bulking up. mid-terms are coming up too. im busy. yes. and this may be one of those post i put for people's review for another few months coming. *smiles*

there's no time for love, admirance and flings. now is to boost up energy to study and score. i have to restore dignity and uphold papa oman's wish to have us complete our studies with flying colours.

take care everyone. im going to go now. assalamualaikum

Lots of Love,
Amanina

blurhhhh

angry moments. sweet moments. all are crushed in me. sipping my blood dry little by little. i have hatred for my friends(not all la). they dont know it cause im a coward lion. i nag a lot. but not do anything about it. aiyah. life. im sadist.but im happy with myself.dont judge me. or ill say "ouch". dont mind this post. its just to past time. i love you darling. hugs.

GIS Lab

classes started yesterday. today is my first considered i terpaksa ponteng yesterday. anyway, we didnt have UNGS 2040 today. dunno why. so now in the GIS lab waiting for Prof. Alias our lecturer. me and computer are bestfriends. have internet connection lagi tue. so cool. and this is the first class im attending for this semester. and im a SENIOR. aiyah....i feel so old. but its exciting to see those juniors running around. he he he ok lah, before i get caught using the net to blog and banned from it..ill go. bye

weekendersss....

wow. it has been a hectic weekend. partying like hell. i cant even remember the last time i really slept. rainforest was the bomb. everyone should come again next year. or mayb make it a family event. i like all this togetherness. other than the party facts, nothing really interesting happened. except for my future business in mind. and negotiation. battle of the band is coming up in kch. and i get to be part of it. wanna score big bucks. aiyah i hate this business side of me. i get so busy. and i neglect people around me. ***im sorry syg...

uni started already but because i couldnt get tickets to come back on time plus my back is aching like hell...im sick. so i terpaksa ponteng one day. i hope i wont get summoned or anything. but to hell with it. im in love with kch. i want to be here all the time. ive been so involved in my hometown's event. and i pretty much enjoy it. cheers to the NEW me!!!

oklah, catching a flight in few hours. good bye kch. ill miss you. *mwahs*

talk the talk

this madness, this glory of sadness is sipping through my veins. i wish i could just fly. just fly out of the galaxy into the other world. i hate u. i hate u too. and i dont want anyone. go away illusion. go away imagination. i want to feel safe in the arm of an angel but not you. i hate u. hate.

unfaithful

And he knows im unfaithful and it kills him inside to know that, im happy with some other guy. I can see him dying. I dont want to do this anymore. I dont want be the reason why. Everytime i walk out the door. I see him dying a little more inside. I dont want to hurt him anymore. I dont want to take away his life. I dont want to be a murderer.....

Perit....

Ku tatap gambar wajahmu, Sinar mata itu, Lirik senyumanmu, Pesona yang membelai, Wajahmu bercahaya, Memberi bahagia, Tiap yang memandang hati menjadi salju......kau terlalu istimewa, tetapi ku ingin melihat mu dewasa. Ku tak tertanggung rindu tuk mendengar suaramu dan tawamu mengusik jiwa.........adakah ini akan menjadi fantasiku didalam realiti diriku. Atau adakah ini titik noktah kebahagiaan dalam kesenduan?! apa dayaku....

...my senses...

some stories are better left untold. some words are better left unspoken. and certain acts are better left unexplained. why? because a tiny bit of mistake done will cause far much trouble and too much pain. in the end the people involve will get mislead, sad, bitter, and heartbroken. **Note; trust and honesty is the best quality. but can we be just that all through our life? i think not.

so people, even if u think ure right in most situation, there will be a time where u better keep your mouth shut n don't even try to make sense of certain things. i'd prefer someone to held an emotional help than mere words.

i love you. *mwahs*

Stand Up!

sadness is my cloud now. my forever emotional state. it erects anger in me. and i turn pretty ugly. this happens last night. i became protective of my own feelings. mine only. and didnt care of the others. i nearly lost someone last night. someone who i am comfortable with, part of my soul. im thankful for not losing him permanently. a friend once said "if you cant leave him, endure living with him cause you know you can't live without him.." it was one of the most wonderful thing ive heard. coming from someone i never thought would have said it. can't be better rephrase. so, today im better. after a dreadful night, crying myself to bed. and feeling all bitter, im fit to say...FAITH has brought myself together.

My Suprised Belated Bday Party

happened last saturday. it was the same as any other day. me and my siblings when out for a drive. afterwards we went visiting our aunt (our 2nd mother..). bla bla bla...nothing un usual happened. so to cut the story short...

my brother told me we were going to watch a midnight movie. some story la he said. and guranteed me ill simply love it. so here i was being naive. i said, ok. lets. and then he said he will come pick me up at around 10. just get ready he says. (dah ada lesen kereta katakan....) so, at 10.10 i was still waiting. he came back at around 10.30 with a bunch of boys..cute! much younger boys. geez im pathetic. *grin* it was 11.00 when we finally went out.

we took the usual road we take everytime going to the cinema. so i didnt expect anything. but when he turned at the next traffic light, away from the cinema, i was thinking to myself. why didnt he turn into the cinema? but i was like..... maybe picking up more friends kot! so i didnt say anything. not until he stopped in front of grappa. our local club. i was getting suspicious. i said why are we here? he just smiled and parked.

to cut the story shorter...there i was sitting in the club. with my boring face and dunno what to do. when suddenly a lot of people came. all smiling at me. i was wondering who they were. so, as usual i smiled back. then came the drinks. and my brother came and made a toss. he said "to the birthday girl, my beloved sister! happy birthday!!!" he apologise for not having a cake. he said budget tak cukup. aahahha. i said nevermind. thank you. everybody sang for me. and i heard a dedication from the dj's booth. and everyone in the club started to sing for me. i was so embarass. i can feel my face getting hot. but it was fun. i hugged him. and the everyone started to get wild n dancing.

well, at least he remembered! ehehhe or mayb it was just a small gesture to make sure he could party that night. ahahah i dont know. but im happy. at around 2am we moved to another club-rainforest, everyone i know just happened to be there. nearly everyone said hello. i felt like a celebrity all of a sudden. funny. and then the dj played RnB songs for me as soon as i walked in. My brother's doing again. so im proud. im happy. and i can say, im satisfied. i feel loved.

Thank you brother...you're the bomb! despite the no cake and the idea of it being a belated occasion, uve succesfully made my bday a blast. Happy Birthday to me! i wish my other half was with me......

p/s: to view pics from the night, http://qu33n.multiply.com/photos/album/13

Love,
Nina

From the noble Qur'an

Woman was made from the rib of man, She was not created from his head to top him, Nor from his feet to be stepped upon, She was made from his side to be close to him, From beneath his arm to be protected by him, Near his heart to be loved by him.

perfection

our wants and needs are overlapping each other when it wants to. in that perfect moment we couldnt decide which is more important. wants or needs? sometimes we cant even differentiate these thing. its so complicated! yes it is.

this is not selfish! wanting true love to exist is not selfish. but how can u tell when its true and when its just another monkey love? well, im lucky and proud to say ive found someone worthwhile. i know ive posted this kind of blog a thousand time before. but it doesnt hurt to actually PRONOUNCE it as a mere satisfaction. this is my perfection. he perfects me. eventhough sometimes he gets on my nerve. who doesnt once in awhile? but it is HIM who could make we go around the world with feelings. thank you.

this is for you my lolo;

- im the girl who likes your hug and hopes for a kiss at the end
- i like it when you hug me without any aparent reason...it melts me.
- i would want to stay in LOVE with you and forever more.
- i cannot forget the first time u kiss me on my forehead...the first ever!
- i like listening to you mumbling even if i dont get it sometimes.
- i like it when u laugh at my silly jokes....i know its tiring.
- i like the idea of having you for my own.
- i want to wake up one day & have you beside me & u never have to leave
- ure my bestfriend, my lover and my savior.
- i love it when you stare at me and say "I love you baby..."
- i want you badly to be right back beside me.
- i like it when u make me feel safe in your hands at night while i sleep.
- your arms around me tight, everything feels so right.
- i like it when u introduce me to your friend as "This is my girlfriend.."
- im walking on cloud nine everytime im with you.
- you keep things so smooth, so happy, so magical...
- but i hate everytime u give statements that would make me cry
- anyhow, the bitterness is lovely when u start caring again
- even so, our fights are always there...and will remain as such.
- ure the perfect mate through my hardship. thank you....
- i now, will just wait for the moment of time to say "i do..."

i love you my LOLO...

ok, i know some people would puke when reading this. some might say its lame. or maybe some may say this aint true. "she doesnt love him like what she says." but who are you to say those things? its my life. its my book. my chapter. its up to me to scribble anything i like. and this is the post i like best. cause suddenly i feel so alive again. so real, pure satisfaction, and supercalifragelisticexpialidocious.

dedication; my syg, i will try to keep our promise intact. i want it to be there always. and may this bloom like the rising sun. i love you darling.

note; even if i dont end up with you in the later years, i know this meeting was a blast. it has become something good and part of me will keep is as the best memories ive had, kept under special care. but for now, u have perfected me in so many ways. to you i have to thank. to you i owe. im glad to have finally met my soulmate.

toodles!

Love,
Nina Liyana

state of mind

humming: "say u love me all around the world....just say u love me"

the lyric is stuck in my head. it humms automatically when ever i switch the play button. old songs has it's sentimental value i can never learn to describe in words. not now. not ever. some of it has the most impact on me than the rest of the songs i know from this millenium. not to mention the lovely well written lyrics. and the beautiful angelic voices.

the world is changing into some random voice pit stop. take malaysia for instant. everyone is trying so hard to gain back the gloriest era of our local music industry. but so far none has succeeded to make a diff. why do i say so? we cant even commercialize our industry outside of malaysia. accept for siti nurhaliza la. but what happened to the new comers? to all the provoking AF candidates? malaysian idol? they were famous just because of the shows' publisity and afterwards...everything comes to a pitch black. so quiet. even we can here the cicak clicking...(i guess thats what its called...ahahaha).

and most that made the way up... well sorry to say but it's so understated. so NOT BEST. and commercial value is low. cant blame our generations if we prefer outsider musicians better. most of the people i know would rather have indonesian songs in their playlist than any local singers' songs. and if there were malay songs, it will be from the 70s and 80s.

sayang la...we have all the beautiful ethnic and exotic music rythmn and instrument. why arent any of us manipulating it and make full use of it? than copying some other foreign country but isnt as near as good. pity. such pity.

some people may not agree to my statement. but this what i feel. im in thirst of good local music. if someone could change our state. im happy.

good night.

p/s: influences are good.but when its not. it turns ugly.

*smiles*

Love,

Nina

movie review

i love X-MEN : THE LAND STAND. a movie u must watch. gurantee to satisfy the need of action. even da vinci code couldnt be better than it. aiyah...i like!

river of emotions

HAPPY+sad*sorry*enmity+euphoric

*hatred+LOVE*

~ostentatious-loveless*deliberate~bashful+

stupid-smart+missing~

>wanting+needing*tedious-boring*chirpy+LONELY*isolated>

dilema-like+tired~energetic-

dope,dreams^wonder-magnificent~setia+confused

*HOT+cold+CARE>grumpy~

uncomfortable*uneasy-queasy,thirst

+beautiful+CINTA^lovely

>WADEVA....."\/\/"

<*>

wadeva it is.....time for us to get straight with ourselves.

take care people.....

M&M's

people say kfc is finger licking good. but M&M's? wow wee mouth watering. ok i may exaggerate more than i should. but this is what chocolates do to people like me. ive not eaten chocolate for like....ermm half a year? tonight is a marking of a natural delight. i like.... and here's to the alcoholism! and chocolatism....!!!! aajaaaaa....

love all of you! *wink!

Love,
Nina Cullen (eyeh?)

my fav book review

ok...im trembling while typing this review. i want to say many things about this. once i saw this book "twilight by stephanie meyers" in BORDERS bookstore last month, i was captivated by it. but didnt have the cash to buy it. cause i was stuck with other 2 books. but 2 weeks ago. i came to my friend's room, kuhaz, and saw this familiar book on her table. i nearly screamed when i saw it.

so, i finally finished reading the book on wednesday after finishing my other book. honestly, this book is not close to what i can imagine. i thought it would be just another normal teen book. but i got it wrong. it was the best ever book ive read. the book is the type that will keep u wondering for a long time even after u finished the last page. not to mention the writer make vampires look less scary and more intriguing. some sort gorgeous.

ok, here's the deal. the book tells us the story of a girl meets boy, boy meets girl and both fall in love with each other and finally the girl found out that the boy is inhuman = a vampire. eventhough she knows how dangerous it is. she still goes on with the relationship. how sweet is that? the most interesting part is how edward cullen (the gorgeous vampire with porceline skin...) fight/struggle with his own internal beings. it wasnt easy but he tries very hard. because of one reason. HE IS IN LOVE WITH BELLA (the girl...). dont u just like stories like this?

btw, i cant tell you more than this. cause it will spoil the fun. u must go read this book. up till now im still dazed by it. and if im lucky i might just end up with a guy like that (aiyah...see im even dreaming of having a guy like that?) but i dont mind. i dont mind if i have to turn into a vampire myself just to have a guy like that. true love is...stronger than anything in the world. even for a living vampire. *sigh*

so people...go get this book. grab it while u can. before the movie starts(i hope..) cause it will be the first movie with too many gorgeous people casting. i bet you girls out there will be "rambang" mata after this. HAVE FUN!

i rate this book as 9/10.....my favourite book of the year for the moment.

p/s: i bet ill have another dream of vampires again tonight.....

Love,
Nina Cullen

and so it is....

arrived kch at 10pm. called someone that aint eager to know im here. im safe here. and still wondering why. im no fun anymore. i just realise that. i get emo everyday. and i hate it.

2moro will be the day for the beach. sadly im having my period now. cant swim. but ill definately enjoy the sun. here i come!!!!

good night myself. i hate this feeling. im lonely.

p/s: i am sad. my life is sad. *currently listening to a sad song....*

Love,
Nina

kemenanganku....

kau tunjukkan aku bahagia, kau tunjukkan aku derita...
kau berikan aku bahagia, kau berikan aku derita....

itulah kemenangan untuk diriku.

mohd irwandi ammegie, kaulah trofi ku. trofi kemenangan yg tidak dapat di tukar ganti. sememangnya ku telah jatuh cinta sama kamu. hanya kamu.

i'd love to say "i do..."

Lots of Love,
Nina

creating an illusion...

one thing i know i cant bare with is UIA. i want to be very far away from here. literally speaking la. not technically.i wish i was meant for another uni. but i love this uni also. so how ah? i got my result today. and it sucks! 0.1 drop. and im frustrated. i wished it could be better. but nooo...it had to suck all the life of today. NOT. back in UIA makes me feel so...i dunno, lost! i want to go home. thank god im going home this weekend. i love you everybody. im going crazy.

BELLA LUNA will be my anak's name...ehehhe *hUgS*

LOve,
Nina

im a fan...

of brown...pink...black(makes me look sexy and slim at the same time)

and of all the colours in the world. makes my life cheerful

of THE O.C

of Orlando Jonathan Blanchard Bloom

of Magics and anything that has to do with it

of MYSELF

of a Mini-Cooper

of ....and other things that is worth being a fan of. DUH!

cheers!

what the heck?

people say my course is good. can get good source of money. but thats what they said about any other courses too if u were to ask. years ago, they said civil was the best and worthwhile. then came up iT. now what? the medicine era? aiyah...so tiring la all this course choosing. might as well stay home and wait for the money to fall from the sky. but that aint happening aint it? so there they were the lil kids wanting to grow up (tuija jak sidaknya...) and us adult wanting to be children again. less hassle, less messy, less HEADACHE. and i want to think everyday will be the same...me playing the barbie dolls or "masak-masak" and not think bout business deals and making money. i think thats why PeterPan just refuses to grow up. OH THE CLEVERNESS of me he says....HAIL THE CARTOON CHARACTERS! they are so cute and happy.

the other things...

(at a.lily's house on the 16th)
the minute i entered the house....

a.kiah : sik nampak kurus pun...
nina : ah? mena ka?
shit ive lost like 20kilos already and u dont see it? - in my mind la...

but i still managed to crack a smile. but then suddenly when i went to send some stuff to her the next day she was like...

a.kiah : eee...kurus kitak, nina oh? *she smiled*
nina : eyh? sekdala...ntah.
aiyer...wussup with this lady? so fickle kah? or just being nice to me?
im so confused...- playing in my mind again.

was depressed for a minute when she told me i dont look like ive lost any weight. but there goes my brother saying...

boy : iboh dgr bah cakap nya. a.kiah bah. palak sik betul sikit. *he laughed*
and i just *sigh* and didnt say anything till we get home that evening.

many things ran in my brain...doing flip flop, mind tricks to me. and i was paranoid of how i look. and also not to forget i sleep in depression that evening. but i can still hear my mom's conversation with my dad on sunday night.

mama : pa, kiah told something to our daughter.
appa : what?
mama : she said she didnt look like she lost any weight. nina was so depressed.
she still is thou.
appa : how u know?
mama : boy la madah...sapa gik?

that was it i heard...didnt hear anything else as i lay on their bed that night. pretending to be fast asleep that later on i actually did feel asleep. till the time came to send my dad to the airport later that night. so i didnt say much that day. and not till today. im avoiding to see ppl. only close friends. suddenly all the ugliness i feel comes back.

aiyah i was so happy with myself until that statement. stupid. but still am. in smaller proportion. *gRin*

old conversation

ok!

this time my mom occured a sound.the slightest that makes you think so much.

we (my mom and my siblings) were gathered in my mom's room earlier this evening. was watching our favourite indonesian tv drama "DIA". sappy drama that is. if you haven't heard of it. pity YOU! cause its kinda good to sit down and watch it with the whole family. spending quality time even it isnt so much great. but its still family time!

ok enuff. actually before we went to barong tinuk (so cool la this place..i shall bring you one day!?) for dinner, my mom pass a statement that her anak-anak should marry a foreigner. so may be better phrase cute gorgeous men and women. cause her theory is; so we shall never get ugly children that has flatten nose and weird eyes. or something like that. so, she said to me...maybe you should consider getting an org putih boyfriend. or latino. or even indonesian with good features. ahahahah. that was funny. while she was refering to that my brain starts working and running to find any available person for me to start with. and there came up felanie's name. ahahha *nong if ure reading this dont get me wrong...he's so adorable and very hard to resist...thats all!* my brain was playing mind tricks with me again. all this fantasies of having good looking boyfriend is so irresistable. but i have yet to find one. im evil. *sorry syg*

afterwards, we went to dinner and bumped into my other family members. what a small world kuching is. so we ended up eating together. the 10 of us. food was delicious and there was another round of post-motem of the anniversary party. gossiping again. as usual. but funny thing is, i realise my family has this love-hate relationship that makes me wonder how we actually can stand each other for so long. hah! blood-tie.

weird thing happened....the topic of gorgeous people came up again. i think my family is obssess with "org kacak". we can never be bored of them. we eventually will be mesmerized by the fact that someone gorgeous is standing beside us. nasib tak drooling....ahahaha.

so ending...we like gorgeous people! cause it makes the sun shines brighter. to me la. up to you to judge. i guess one day ill consider my mom's suggestion. or will soon find one. im gorgeous also what! wow...i actually said that. good night everybody.

toodles!!!

Love,
Nina

revatalizing....

let me tell you a stroy of last weekend. 8th of April. A date of my aunt's and uncle's wedding anniversary. the function turn out well. thanks to everybody involve that is. +US+ ehehehe it was a fun night comparing to the months work some of us had to do to prepare it. especially my cousin Kak Long. She was so dedicated man. No one i know can be half as hardworking as she is. To the rest that contributed to it, aiyah they were simply the best too. Nothing beats us for any family gatherings. "Togetherness tek nakkkk..."

everyone was so beautiful and handsome. yes they were. all in their evening gowns and tuxedo. ive never seen anything more alluring than that. some are just incredibly sexy. including my mom. the guys i must say some of them turn out to be hot. i met this handsome couple. both mat salleh of course. i bet they are mix latino. cause that feature is damn prominent. they were gorgeously paired up. me and my cousins were like "WOW! look at that....they must be the king and queen of the night" but oh well, despite that others were gorgeous too. do check out the pictures folks!

at the beginning, the function was so formal. but towards the end everyone started loosen up. had a few drinks around, and people started dancing the poco-poco. geez, people are just craving for that. and then when it ended, i just realise the only ones on the dance floor at 3am was me, felanie, nong and isk. where did everybody else go? so u can just imagine what party people we are la...i basically jump from one place to another. from the dance floor to the stage. got few stares from me mom to behave. but let's see...erm?? we didnt even care! thank god she didnt blow up. but to round it up. it was fun. terrific.

ending...the 4 of us went up to my room and sleep. zzZzzzz NIGHT!

enough said....check out the pictures aight??!!!

here >>> www.qu33n.multiply.com/photos

Lots of Love,
Nina the Belacanism.....