Feeeeeeling Numb

numbness is something u feel when you dont even care anymore what the situation will be. right or wrong? its halfway there. no one cares. im numb now. i dont feel a thing. only cold. alone. afraid. and despair. negative vibes are coming to me. why? imust be too tired to think. i love the endurance of projects but to finish it......you answer.

im sick now..tired to top it up and im still searching. thanks to those who made my life easier. toodles!

Love,
Nina

opps LUPAK...

hey....just wanted to say this....

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! MAKE YOUR RESOLTUIONS RIGHT THIS TIME U GUYS.


Love,
Nina

Jom Makan?

im currently sitting in the kaed lab now after printing my landscape planning assignment.and online now. i was sleepy in QSB this morning due to lack of sleep and i slept thru break. and im hungry and wanna eat. please help me. i need to eat. i want to go to the cafe now and indulge myself in those helathy food that keeps me trim n firm. ahahhahaha. ok...i nak gi makan. hungry seh!!!!! take care everyone.

p/s: i hope sarah wants to accompany me. *gRin*

Lots of love,
Nina

Say What?!

Merry Xmas everyone!!

im happy, im feeling useful and handful. should have gotten that PDA phone. but nooooooooooo wanted to be a jewel in front of my mom and said its ok ma. ill pass. "lagikpun phone kmk gik bagus bah..." how corny can i get...but everything's good. going shopping AGAIN tomorrow. more shoes and more tops i suppose? owh ya, one thing i wanna share. i lost another 2kgs today. i mean i check weekly. so i lost again. in total 9.4kgs. isnt that cool? i feel so healthy now. very.

what else is there to blog? more workloads every week. and tension arises. nothing to complain or feel proud of. copping well. i love my course for the time-being. and can't wait for wandy to come back. i love the familiar smell of him especially after he sleeps on my bed. that smell makes me wanna smile. i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

oh ya, bout the dillema. im over it. thanks to ida. i realise something. how stupid of me. but im happier and losing weight. so i can say im getting gorgeous? ahahhaha okla...toodles n nite nite everyone. huggies!!

Lots of Love,
Nina

continuation....

oh right...this is a happier version. (instruction:read the first one first b4 proceeding)

*scroll down...


i like the way i know it. it makes my heart grows rapidly big. and makes me feel beautiful but as i said it embarassing. ha ha ha ha.

actually i just wanted to write, i spill water on my baju kurung this morning while accompaning syaza n radhi for breakfast at HS cafe. thank god it was just water. if not ill cry. and now everything is good. class starts soon. so ill be off in a jippy!!

to everyone out there who knows this dilemma of mine. fingers-cross and shut the hell out of your mouth. i want it to happen but not this way. i love all of you. hugs. mwahs

Lots of Love again,
Nina

Gateway....

had sleepness nights last night and the night before. struggled to sleep as usual at night eventho how tired i am. read the QSB book to make me fall asleep. it did work for awhile but i guess my brain just didnt want to register that i need sleep afterwards. had dreams about lotsa stuff. all this legolas thingy is sipping into my head like no body's business. how weird is it that someone u like, may like u back. especially when it considers 2 years crush. i hate those people who like to play ppl-matching. i hate em i hate em i hate em. the least i need now is for someone to mismatch me and with that particular person. its so embarassing. so yeah, talking about my weirdest dream. i dream bout this person for days now, since i learn the truth. i know some would say im "perasan" but actually i dont like the feeling at all. i hate not being able to be myself around him anymore and hate for not being able to joke around him like i use to. or in a shorter version, being myself. its depressing. the ambience in the studio is growing tense for me when ever he is around. i don't deny i like to know what i know. but i guess some girls just cant cope with the truth especially for someone like me. i may seem robust, inconsiderate with my words, outspoken, happy, occasionally crazy (ermm..?), and etc but.....some things i would appreciate people to lay low. cause i am indeed embarass now. i dont keep secrets. but if this means ill loose my face to someone or loose my freedom of acting n speech. ill lay low from now. no more telling secrets to ppl. let me be the one listening to ppl for a change. ill turn the table around for awhile. till i gain my strength back. im tired, im sick and i have headache. ill push it away now before i grow nuts. now i understand why sue n kuhaz are secretive. i like that way more now. ill have to ask them for advice and learn how to be discreet. toodles for now. off to class in awhile. hugs everybody. i love....

p/s: to wandy, if ure reading this dont be sad. im expressing. no confirmation. i love u.

Lots of love,
Nina

memories

"I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all."

-Lord Bryon

i wonder what this quote indicates for my future life. still wondering and will never stop. do i stay to dwell or i leave and never turn back? clock is ticking hard and yet i couldnt solve it.........

Second Week of Lecture

Ok ill start off with ALOHA! Yesterday was a public holiday for the whole Selangor due to the Sultan's Birthday. Because of that, me and my immediate family went for a road trip to kuantan and terengganu during the weekend. It was fun despite the moments i have to go to the toilet every hour because of my over-flowing period. Well, talking bout bad timing to go travelling. So i would like to advise anyone with the same problem like mine to walk around as much as u can before entering the car. Cause the more u sit the more painful n over-flowing it is. Ok, enough of those gross detail. I came back around 730 last night and just started my assignment. I was lucky to be able to finish it at 5am this morning.Thanks to syeeq that accompanied me all night so i can stay awake. If not ill surely cry with deep shit. Yesterday also wandy called saying he's heading for Brunei and maybe will be in sabah for a few days after.Im happy for him as i bet he is enjoying every bit of his holiday. Will be seeing him again for new year. that wont be long. but ive already missed him so much. i guess ill just have to be patient. Anyhow, classes starts full blast today. Met Dr Spahic Omer, my Quran, Sunnah n built environment lecturer. He is adorable. I don't understand why people say his class is boring. I like his lecture. makes all the sense in the world. so i can say i like him la. cool kan? i finally have a foreigner as my lecturer.

Ermm what else to write? i dunno la, the ironic of all situation is i talked to hafiz, wandy's nephew aka my old friend in MRSM yesterday. It felt so weird knowing that i have a crush on him long before i know wandy. And now im having a relationship with his uncle (sounds so old la the word...but same age la)? so weird. even talked to isz, my classmate in MRSM and also a relative of wandy's. what a small world after all.

to wandy : if u come across this post, i just wanna say i miss you and i love you. hope ure having the time of your life and do take care. simpan your passport properly.dont want it to go missing again do we? send my regards to everyone and keep on missing me ok? i love you so very much. mwahs mwahs mwahs *hugS*

to everyone else...this is the end. im ending this so i can go to the cafe to meet my friends. they are having lunch now. so till later. toodles!!

Lots of Love,
Nina

Represent, represent Cuba!

ok, im currently listening to the songs from dirty dancing ost. nothing much to report this time of the month. its december and i dunno what to write. spent time with wandy and family mostly. my parents finally met wandy and didnt complain much. mayb his charm? i also dunno. no comments. other than that, nothing interesting happened. what ever me and wandy do on our first real date is for us to keep as memories. i didnt imagine i could do that EVER! but it did happen. dont get me wrong. nothing disgusting happened. just a stroll and fun-ish (if there's such a word) doings. to sum it up, it went well till he had the stomach cramp attack again. but he's ok now.

2moro ill be going back to campus and here starts the hectic life of mine. results was ok, but could've done better. will be seeing my friends again. Miss them la actually. plus my whole family is going for our yearly trip and im left out. as usual, duty calls. sad aint it?? oh ya before i forget, today my 2 close cuzz nong n zuki went to this explore race thingy. cross-fingers and hopefully they go thru it? its the second round anyways. so mayb we could catch them on tv.

dah la, im board of writing. ill keep my pencil down now. bye everybody. *hugs*

Love,
Nina

JUMPY

well, im just counting the hours to finally pick wandy up from the airport. He's coming today!!! and i dunno if i should feel excited or sad or happy or anything. i feel numb now. i dont want to feel so comfortable with him as i know ill be sad when he has to go. damnit! im so emo. but ill be happy for awhile now. Wish me Luck!! *hUgS*

Nina

Gedong Trip

hello again people of the world! (hah..it sounds like im a president or anything...funny larr!!)

anyways, yesterday, sunday 20th Nov 2005. I finally went back to Gedong after a long time (last time i remembered visiting was, at the age of 9 or 10), "Kampung Keluargaku" that is situated 50km from Kuching City. It was one hilarious journey. There were in total 24 of us and i must say, i cherish every moment we spend with each other. From the delay-daly of what time we should start going, the overtaking each others cars session on the road, funny noises made by our(me and my immediate family) borrowed car (thank god we went and came back in one piece), and also when we arrive Gedong before 12 and finally sat down to eat. We were served sup tulang, kari daging, pucuk pisang (i think!), sambal goreng perut, sayur midin (one kind of paku pakis only found in our region) and white rice. The beef is so tasty and tender because it is freshly slaughtered the night before. I must say its a kind of luxury for the Kampung people to have this kind of food. But the best part of all is, we get sup tulang one big bowl each. You will never get this anywhere else in the world. Seeing their faces(with the "wondering face" per what we are thinking) when we arrived and when we seem to enjoy the food they provided, gives them a sense of relief. I am sure in their little minds they are just waiting for a any of us to complain bout the food or anything else. But till the end, we genuinely felt comfortable and happy. I know i have. Kampung area brings back nostalgic feelings to me.

"I was flipping through the old pictures they brought out after makan, seeing the faces of my young grand-dad and grand-ma, and my older aunties and uncles posing beside their old car, make me feel all sappy AGAIN!? Sometimes i wish i could have that moment alone with my grand-ma, just to say i appreciate her and truly love her. I know she knows i love her dearly but everything i feel now would be different if she was here. All conflicts will be settled without even going far. I like that aura she posesses and taking control of other people's action. Cause in the end i know what she did is for the very best. I miss her...Al-Fatihah to my late Grand-Ma...I love you nek mak!"

On our way home, the car we borrowed made funny noises again. I seriously felt like i was in an airplane cause it sounds like one. So loud. And even as the speedometer goes up till 4ooo but the km/h only goes up only till 70. How funny can that be? And with my dad pretending to be a speedracer, i guess this is a perfect example of a malay phrase,"mimpi tinggal mimpi." Even if we have driven further enough than the rest of the family, they could still catch-up with us. This is what we will encounter when driving an old car! But i love it in many other odd ways. I like the comfy cushion seats and the endless bumpiness feeling i get whenever it goes on rocky roads. So its just another fun experience travelling in an old car towards our kampung. Maybe i would do it again someday. So much energy taken for it. For laughs, jumping, walking on wooden planks and etc. So to sum it up, it was a hell of fun! im glad to be born a Sarawakian.

*My Sarawakk...*

Cheers,
Nina

Oh Blimey!

Dearest readers,

today was a whole remarkable day than any other day. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire came out in cinemas today. I havent seen anything like it. Never expect just another expecto patronum spell. But the whole movie was just so incredible to even be describe. need to see for yourself. so magical. from the merpeople, the tournament, to the last bit of each character. I simply love it to the max. i was actually keeping my fingers cross for the movie. i thought it would be a dissapointment like the third movie but it never did occur to me even once as a failing movie. i love and enjoy every bit of the screening. Victor Krum is totally hot! Even if the book describes other wise. And my sit in the cinema is also the best ever! This whole journey into the movie is so tiring because i was so involve with it. It makes me feel im part of the character myself. Wondering what other obstacles will i face afterwards. I came back home tonight with a joyous feeling. And i did watch the first show today! Im a happy lady. Spoiling everyone's mood by giving out the detail ofthe movie is unfair to those who havent watched it yet. But i must advice you to watch it. Cause im about to embark into the land of fantasy n magic again tomorrow. So if im watching for the second time...you can imagine how good it is...im mesmerized with everything. Even the goblet is so pretty. Blue fire....how inspiring.

Till later...ill give this a rest first and dream all the magical things. May all of us be happy in this fantasy world! Accio bed!

Love,
Nina

Writer Rave

well hello again everybody.

honestly, i havent decided what to write in this post but i just want to state out that i would love to speak the elves' language. so mysterious yet with a very humble-like sound to add on. anyway, this fantasy yet again, came to me while i was watching Lord of The Rings for the zillion time already just now. I have forgotten how incredibly handsome Legolas may seem. Ive totally forgotten that ive once was so smitten over him. well actually its just trying to forget something for old time sake. but now the movie has helped me recall back sweet memories. damn everyone should see me everytime i see this face. i go all excited. well who doesnt if in front of me is someone so dashing, adorable and most important GORGEOUS! ok enuff, smitten aint smitten, i just have to put an end to my endless fantasy. i know i would never get a guy like him. even in a million years. but i have to admit i do have a studio mate that looks just like him. my god. first impression of him was, "GOD! i found my true soulmate.." but after knowing him, he is even better! ahahhaha (i bet everyone tot i would say his bad...ermmm) but thats just another fantasy ey? this couldnt be possible cause we're just friends. its fun that way! as this will prevent myself to end up being the super jealous girlfriend if i ever hook up with him. so pathetic. im fantasizing again! owh blimey! im going to stop. may i get a good night sleep tonight cause Harry Potter is coming out 2moro and im watching the first show!!! yeeehaaaaaaaaaaaa....congrats to luck! love 'em, eat 'em. Toodle doooo....

Love,
Nina @ Mrs Legolas (sh*t!)

ramblingsss

well, Virgil said "love conquers all"....from my "quote of the day" section la (from my blog? havent u notice?? iskk). what bullshit? i would want to rephrase it as money conquers all.... hah! im going to be nuts.

just like heaven is cool. i wanna be like reese whiterspoon. so glamourous, so smart, so cute, so everything la. but i want a different husband. can?

watched zorro today, weird zorro. i never recall it's cartoon or legend that he has a son and is married. or maybe im wrong?! but where did his companion aka bestfriend rider go? cant remember his name even. but his kid is cute thou. ehehhe.

bought books yesterday, cost me 120 for only 3 books. oink oink. but im loving it. damnit. i feel itch all over my body now. better mandi. i dont want to get sensitive skin all of the sudden. shit. to hell with it.

im outta here. chalo everybody. buenos tartes....

love,
Nina

Hari Raya at Syeeq's n today's

hello again.... second post on raya holidays.

yesterday after having dinner with my aunt, i rushed to syeeq's house for raya visiting. yeah, everything went well until the time we(me, daydeck n jule) were invited to play fire crackers [or wadeva it is called. (in malay its mercun la..)] with syeeq and his brothers. on the way out, walking on the garden pavement, something kinda embarassing happened. i fell. can i imagine that? in the garden? my baju kurung skirt was dirty. but thank god only one patch. so i was actually lucky enough to NOT dirty the whole skirt or NOT sprain my leg. cause that would seriously lead to bone fracture. well, sad to have fragile bones like mine right? owh well....

today, another session of dinner with my whole family. eating. eating. eating. what else is there more to do? im growing so fat now. i can feel my bone hurts. kesian my bone. damn it! anyway, whole point is to tell you guys, i went visiting yet AGAIN today. so some psycho person's house. i swear not to mingle with him again. so sial la. and embarassing. ishhh...cannot express in words. ill explode. so yea...till later la... i annoyed already. SHIT.

good bye!

cheers,
nina

My Hari Raya

Assalamualaikum Everyone....

finally puasa is over. raya just had to be the bomb. i have waited for raya since a monh ago. and its been a wild ride. i actually had fun arranging cakes, biscuits and the rest of the ornaments. i didnt even get tired with my big family that came this year. around 69 immediate family and the rest are family cousins n relatives. so cool. everyone was wearing the same colour tone. turqoise for the 1st day, lilac for 2nd day, rust for 3rd day. wow. we look fantastic. its so easy to differentiate our family members with other people. i love. i love.

talking about raya, i had my hair done for hari raya. i turn into rogue but with red tone. so yeah....i finally like my holiday. and having everyone compliment my hair was the bombarnesss...if there's such word la. this is another thing i love. cooolll la. cant stop talking bout it. even one of my cousin was pissed at the hairdresser that did my hair. she said when she wanted to do the hair i did, last time at the same hairdresser, the hairdresser said she didnt have the colour. so yeah...i was the lucky one la. its so rich!

people came like ants at my late grandparents house. more than a thousand came for the first day, 2000 over 2nd day and nearly a thousand for the 3rd day. who will not say raya was hectic? i mean it was busy but its the best! nothing can beat raya with family. i even made few new friends from unimas (zahie's classmates). pity them. they cant go back for raya because exam was due on monday (the following week). so brought them back to my place to feel the real raya. so, it when well. nothing could be done differently to make things better. to me it was perfect! the whole idea of having everyone down for raya is a wonderful success.

i love my family. even if wandy is not here with me to share this, deep down in my heart i know he had his great time over in japan too. so syg, once ure settled n thinking of coming back to finally feel this experience with me, i will be here greeting u with open arms ok? i love you! *mwahs*

to friends and family that made my raya meaningful. thank you very much. i simply love this togetherness we have since long before.

to check out my raya pictures please go to qu33n.multiply.com/photos

enjoy n have a nice holiday!

lots of love,
Nina

set me free

ok ok...dont think i need to be set free or anything due to unhappiness but this is just merely the title of a written graphic on my new t-shirt i bought from zara. so nice!!! its so vintage. i want more of this. serious. more and more. ill go to F.O.S tomorrow to get more tshirts. im just obssesed with it now. and yeah the combat pants in DP. and DKNY delicious perfume. casio newest funky digi cam, w800i and my shopping list is never-ending. so, now the crave of shopping is here.ehehe and i so like puasa cause my jeans all longgar due to flatten "a bit" stomach that i have now. despite everything, i can say im finally breathing 70% for real after monday's paper. just need to study for the last one and ill be free for the next whole month. how cool!!! im so looking forward to it. going back to kch, meet the same old people, taste similar food and most of all my loving family. i miss everyone. and all raya wishes i get all around makes me all sad and sappy. so yeah....just 4days to go for the final touch down in kch airport. ill kiss the airport floor, my house floor and all the walls. lie on my bed and never get out of it until break fast, watch movie from the big screen, go jalan jalan in kch and etc. wow i seriously miss home!!! cant wait cant wait. aiyer....ok ok im stopping now. bye!!! happy finishing puasa and happy coming eid everyone!! mwahs *hUgS*

p/s: if ure wondering how i did my exams, well i can say i did pretty well. but dunno how the markings will come by la. so keep praying for me! thanks!

lots of love,
Nina

world of today

i dont know actually what to write. but as everyone here are updating their blogs. i wont want to be left alone. so here's the crappiness of it la.

just finished bm exam to day and as a conclusion...it sucks!!!!

will be having geomatic on sunday. and monday is declared a public holiday but i dunno if uia will postpone our exam on monday. i guess not.

now all of them are asking me to watch "closer" with them. so im going to watch it now. buhbye journal.buhbye love. energy is falling out of the line. my love life is very quiet now. so im bored. thank god i have friends over tonight. after breaking fast n taman tun bazaar shopping. everything is quite alright. i guess i have not much to complain. so yeahhh...

take care earthlings. mwahs. toodle loo.

lots of love,
Nina @ Gorgeous Creature

Syaza's 19th Birthday Pictures

*birthday girl makes a wish*

*crazy sue with 3 horns*

*sue n me smudge cake*

*melted bday cake! sorry!*

*circle of friends*

Our Suprise event for her.......these are some of the pictures. Thanks to those who made it happened.

Syaza, thanks for being naive.happy birthday girl!

Sue, kuhaz, sarah, thanks for buying the stuff. nice cake! n preparations.

ida, thanks for the music. boogie!

Nuha, areque, mira, amy, eza n spastik gangs, u guys are simply party animals. thanks for making it alive.

to myself, im such a natural. dramaqueen. hah!

good night everyone n sorry for the late post.

enjoy!

Lots of love,

Bewitching Star

Quando, Quando, Quando

Love is Life.

If you miss love, you miss life.

i miss you cause ure my love.

being my love, i need you.

when i need you, i depend on you.

to miss you feels terrible.

but to love you is the greatful feeling.

thanks for being the one for me.

i miss you.

i love you.

and i want you.

sweet love of mine.

Sleepy Saturday

oh well....despite the sleepy saturday, here's what i have in mind.....

love quote of today is "happiness is like a kiss, you must share it to enjoy it.." what i can interprate is that, a kiss cant be done alone. you must have a partner to feel it. same goes for fun. fun alone aint fun at all. cant beat the fun u have when your friends and family are around. or mayb fun with enemies. its highly useable. for me, being alone is not fun. its lonely, and i feel like shit whenever this happens. especially with being far away from home. over the south china sea. to some people it could be near but for me, any distance involves extracting me from family is miserable enough. thank god i have friends. even if we do have some misunderstanding here and there. but we manage. having cool cousins are like jewel also. it makes everything less miserable. wandy, is someone that often gets sacarstic remarks from me. pitiful. sorry darling. but he makes everything worthwhile sometimes. perfecto. all this could be sum with one word. LOVE. without love in this world. i bet the entire human population would be sad all the time. and talking bout sad. its gonna be so fucking irritating to not feel the happiness or agony of love. so yeah you guys, appreciate it while u can feel it. and dont take anything for granted. its the least u can do.

Hope is a beautiful thing. having to hold to something beautiful is sane. hoping, wishing is what makes us excited to move forward to make things better. Look back as it is a lesson, look now as an achievement and forward as excitement and something to explore. Keep faith and we will be alright. I love everyone in this chapter of my life. Thanks a million.

Cheers!

Nina

Freaky Friday

ALOHAMORAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

ok, last monday i finally had my gum removed from on top of my wisdom tooth. shit. it hurts! thank go i have pain killers. if not i cant imagine myself eating. it would surely be pure pain! i couldnt speak for like nearly one day the other day. suffer from non-verbal communication is really sick. especially when i have to consult my lecturer bout my layout. u should see me signaling. my lecturer made fun of me(really laughing!) as im noted to be the loudest of them all in class? so its a change of atmosphere all of a sudden. people kept asking me to explain what happened. cant they understand? that i cant speak? ehehehhe. its kinda funny la jugak. laughing stock of the month.

last night, while drawing a new layout for my project, i was directed to watch freaky friday that i guess everyone have watched it. an old movie? i was sure i havent. people keep talking bout that movie and yesterday, i finally saw it. how cool? cool kan? such a pity.

now im sitting in front of my lap top AGAIN! doing my neverending assignments. hate 'em. take it away from me!!!! arghhhhh!! yeah, before ramblings come to live again from my typings, i better get over and do my assignments back. so ill write what happens 2moro in the diary life of mine alright? need to get some sleep too. Class is at 10am 2moro. Auto-Cad. simply love my lecturer. so cuteeeee.

toodle looo everyone. Cheers!

Lots of love,
Gorgeous Creature

Wisdom Tooth

hey its me again! i love weekends. dont you? ive been lazying around a lot. and i mean A LOT. im getting fatter within days. inches by inches. shit. how to fit into baju kurung raya!! iskk..need to kurus by then. cross-fingers. owh ya, im getting my gum remove from on top of my wisdom tooth tomorrow morning. it hurts so bad yesterday that it was swollen and i had to stay in bed the whole day. i hate it. but excited to go for the procedure 2moro. my first treatment at a dental after lets say 10 years? ehehhe. and my teeth is going strong. so screw dentist. u just need them when wisdom teeth comes out. or similar to it. ahahahha.

owh ya, tonight nong will be coming back from america. cant wait. i miss her so very much. mayb if i get to know what time she is coming ill go pick her up. so yeah...sitting, waiting and hoping. may she come back safely. amin.

ok la...im going to go eat now. tired of the screen already. ill update this blog later! toodle loo! and have a nice life everyone! *mwahs*

cheers!

Lots of Love,
Nina

MY LIFE

Aloha.....

i think somethings wrong with me. im so in deep shit. projects byk gila babi! and i hate it. why did i enter this course in the first place? i should have stick with modelling. ahahaha. malaysia's top model maybe? ahahhahaha ok then. im sick n tired. i need bed n tv now. toodle loo...

p/s: I miss kch!! the people, the food, my FAMILY upmost. mwahs

Lots of Love,
Nina

completely pointless

greetings...

im not complaining, nor am i happy with anything. life has been the same ever since my boring campus life. it evolves around work i don't love. where are the people i love? i need back up. i need support. i need to straighten my life back. who cares if im a whore? a bitch or any kind of crude words there are to describe it. but i was happy with it. now? hypocresy, butt rubbing and stuck up the nose trauma everywhere. people are such nosy people. from back then and now. sometimes i wish i could tell things about myself to people. the real me and leave out the negative judgements in the end. someone i love once said, "i love this other girl too much to leave her for u." but in actual fact. its me who was there first. how could he. how could he? comforting moments are beyond reach nowadays. even if u think ure in the comforting zone, think again babe. ure NOT. people say miracles happen. without doubt some wishes do come true. only thing u need to have is faith. but im too tired to think about miracles or come true wishes. im too tired and half hearted to even think of beautiful things around me. i see ugly faces, i see ugly scenery, i see the ugly me now. if anyone could see the end of the road and what ever will happen to you personally, i wish u all the happiness u might or might not need. im too depressed to figure anything out. failure of heart disease, blood vessels pops, sugar level increases...those are diseases that could be cured. what about the matter of the heart? can it be back as normal like the sugar level? or will someone just die and never breath as normal as it may seem few moments backwards. im sitting here, thinking of ideas to create a new environment for myself. wishing everything was as it is back 10 years before. no hassle, no worries. just few injuries. if one day, someone turns me down and i dont cry. i want who ever knows about this to capture that moment. that moment mayb the last in my entire life. its a sign of me collapsing of time. of me going away for good. or mayb im just really really tired and sick to care. if this time comes. watch out for me ok? i might do hideous things. i love my life. but i hate it at the same time. stars seems very dim to me now. everything dull. so, dear friends, find your happiness. dont be like me. im an old women in a young lady's body. see ya in heaven or hell.

lots of love,
Nina

SUCKY SUCKY SUCKY

hello earthlings that i love! greetings from another earthling that is annoyed by UIA/KAED's computer lab. Its not just inefficient but trully unreliable. we cant even have a decent online session in this lab. its either there's something wrong with the computers or the connection. The problem is, most of the comp are not useble. How are we suppose to be very technology intact without cyberspace? sucks aint it? well enough of that.....it was just to express anger. hah! sian radhi....

its been a very busy week this week. projects, datas, analysis, mapping, and etc. what else is there? lotsa things have to be done. presentation is on friday, and too much stress in the air. start screaming! shouting! crying! stop! im rambling without notes.....shit. i hate this feeling.

well enough of everything, im going to browse around to make sure i occupy my time before the next class with something fun.

take care everyone. ill update everyone with the latest news from the suburbs here (well imagine UIA la). sharks! toodle loooooooooooo...

Lots of Love,
Nina

Blues Terengganu Kita

ok, i dunno what to write. but the title of this post is taken from a title of a malay song im listening to right at this moment. its kinda funny cause who ever thought of writing a song with lyrics like "tengok penyu bertelur.." and chorus thats sounds so pathetic like ganu kiteeee. ill sing the tune later if i meet anyone of u that is curious of how it sounds like. alright?

what else did i do today? woke up very early...to me la. around 9. did nothing but watch tv till noon and called wandy up. fell asleep afterwards and re-decorated my room. to those who has been to my place, no more old arrangements guys!!! so cool. now have to get the bed and cushion covers. anyone interested in tagging along? suppose to do that earlier today but my bestfriend daydeck was sick. had to go to the hospital. talking bout this, i havent check on her. better do it soon.

so alright then, im going to continue my work now. tons to do and read. have a nice life people!! im so much in love now. and miss my cuzz so much.

p/s: come back la pokkk....so lonely la without u around. dah la have to stay 3weeks alone. sial seh. take care of yourself there ok pok? *hUgS* dont forget disneyland!!!

Lots of Love,
Nina @ Im Gorgeous

typical

monday was a tiring day, and today is a typical plain ordinary day i go through any other day in my life. monday was bentong trip. today is just lazying around. mayb gonna change my bro's jeans in zara. but so lazy man!!! and yeah, im like sakit perut now. so toodle loo everyone. mwahs.

hugs n kisses,
Nina @ Gorgeous Living Creature

HaH!

sUndaY

journey of the day.....

i finally went shopping for new cloths today!! yeah..so happy. bought lotsa cool stuff. but there's like more to buy. bought 2 new jeans, overwhelming tops that i can imagine how im gonna dress it up. and all sorts. im a happy lady today. spent lots i can say. thanks to mama. mwahs mwahs mwahs

ate at mdm kwan's today. it was delicious. not entirely the best for me but it was as delicious as the price la. so worth paying. later today we ate at marche for dinner. i can say this is my fav. place to be. even thou my fren gunt wont agree to this. he said its way too expensive to eat. i have to agree. but im hooked by its yummy, mouth-watering waffle. so nice! yes...and not forgetting i saw one hot guy. an arabian guy kot. not sure.

owh while at midvalley, i also tasted this healthy drink from the juice bar. it is called berry burst or something. so nice. ive never liked fruits but this is entirely different. it tasted like rainbow-ish. even if ive never tasted rainbows. ahahha. just a thought. yikes!! plus i cant stop looking at the guy behind the counter. his english...aiyo. so best one...plus with the looks and attitude? i vote him as the next malaysian best bachelor. ahahha. so ive met 2 gorgeous guys. how ah? aiyer...too ugly to try out la.... :(

ok, to sum everything up. i had a wonderful day despite any other dreadful things that comes around. plus i wanna talk to daydeck now. love story seh....yes!! *cuddle with my mashi maro*

p/s: missing the person that gave me that. mana you ah syg?

lots of love,
Nina

dAyS

Friday - Mama and Amyrah arrived in KL at 9pm. went strait home. unpacked. realised kak tina my beloved maid sent home-made apam from kuching. ~yummy~ its been ages since i ate those. even writing this blog makes me want it. chatted with mama for awhile. need lotsa catching up to do bout the family. everyone is happy.

Saturday - woke up earlier than any other weekend. mama made american breakfast for MOI but she, my dad and my sis ate nasi lemak. how weird is that? i have my usual mama's fine scramble egg, baked beans, hotdogs, hash brown and toast. afterwards, all of us went to jalan tar to get my rust coloured saree for raya. this is due of my previous saree was too grand or wedding like for raya. ehehehe. after a bit of shopping here and there... well we actually ventured going to genting highlands. but because it was 330pm when we finally drove there, we only stayed till 530. about an hour up there before coming down again. tot of bringing my sister on those rides but too little time for fun. so we decided to come again the following day thats is 2moro. on the way down, we bought lemang and rendang. it was ok la. id prefer my mom's receipe. not being fussy. just that, my mom is here...so why wanna eat out if u can have home-cooked meal? eyh? so, ending of the day whole family had to watched VMA on tv because i was watching it till the very last minute i changed to BBC to watched the true story of the Besians children. so sad. i cried ok!! so if anyone have watched it, they'll know.

so here i am writing this blog now. nothing else to do. and next thing, ill call wandy. been missing him since yesterday. havent heard from him. so yeah. better call before i go nuts. till later...

Sunday - Brand neu day, full of suprises. is it the shopping spree or genting again? most propably shopping because my sister fell ill just now. kesiannnn.. 2moro is something to look forward too...yes yes yes!!!

ok la...hugs n kisses everyone. good night!

Lots of love,
Nina

What happened?

errmmmm....

here we go again. today, woke up late as usual. the sleep pattern ive come accustom to these few days. who can say anything. i need quality sleep what. i didnt do anything extraordinary today. just laze around the house and watch tv. programme after programme. kinda sick of everything already but loving it at the same time. so how ah?

today also is the end date for UPSR (ujian penilaian sekolah rendah) for those who doesnt know this yet. happy for my lil sis, myra, as she succesfully finished answering all the papers but waiting for the results would be another headache not to my sis alone but my mom will be very stressfull. mark my word. which mom wouldnt kan? so, as the rest of the world is enjoying their lifetime at this right moment. my whole family is like praying n wishing for the best outcome we could get. not saying that my sis didnt work hard for it but public exams sometimes has this thing for luck. we would be suprise that some people dont get grades they deserve. so im not going to say anything more but be there for her n pray for the best results. maybe she could beat my result? who knows for sure?

owh, and this evening i called wandy up and we had our usual daily talks. but he said something that suprises me. he said my voice is sweet today! how flattering can it get kan? but couldnt manage to get hold of new idd to call him tonight cause with daddy around, its very hard. questions after questions and i just hate answering them! plus can u believe there's none at 7eleven? sharksss...

today is also ganesha vinaiyagar sadhurthi, a day for the elephant god for the hindus. went to brickfields just now thats why i got to know of this festival. everyone was dress in their full indian suits going to the nicely decorated temple and there's even an elephant earlier that has attracted lotsa kids around that area. the chariott passed just before we arrived so we didnt see any la. the next one will be around 330am. couldnt wait that long..so i headed home after visiting my aunts and dinner.

so here i am, at home listening to punjabi songs, the songs ive heard over my parents wedding a year ago. so yeah, its kinda weird to have punjabi songs in my laptop but i dont care...im uploading it into my laptop. its kinda fun to hear bhangra and makes u want to dance. i guess i am attracted to indian elements. people can even give me a saree for bday and ill like "wow...geez...urghh" speechless but in the end id always say "thanks...i really like it.." to happy to continue. ehehehe..but if lengga or punjabi suits, ill like go wild and scream thank you. its kinda exotic dont you think? colourful materials, beautiful accessories and etc. i just love the make up! look at aishwarya rai's make up for instance. so sharp and nice. ok la, im going to stop babbling bout this. this thing is too much for anyhone else to endure. ok ok...stoppping....toodles!

till later....enjoy!

Lots of love,
Nina

AiShhhhh.....

**me and sarah on the way home**




*my funny looking socks*

Pixma

Fuhhh...its been a long time since i wrote things in here. Seriously, my time is too caught up with work. pathetic work and not mentioning boooringgg. wished ive chosen another course...sHisH!! ok ok, now lets get down to business.

since wandy left, ive been keeping myself busy with trying to finish my assignments as early as i can or ill occupy my hours with sleeping. yeah i know its not good but i just don't want to think of him. to not have him around me just hurts. cant cope. so ive indulge myself in work, work, work and more work up till now. it isn't all that bad la for these past few days cause my short holiday have started. and coming to the end already. hah! stupid uia.

ok, the real story is, i went to midvalley today with sarah. it was ok la...nothing fancy. just 2people chilling and being miserable when we cant afford to buy the things we wanted. well, what do you expect? every single price has gone up as the sales are just over few days ago. so u can imagine how we were. but yeah, despite everything, i manage to buy myself a pair of dorothy like shoes. its pink n black so cute and nice! i LIKEEEE....


*my new shoe!!!!*

to some people, maybe uve seen this somewhere in the local store...so yeah!~ i got it. ahahhaha so funny but im loving it. and i bought some new funny looking socks from sox world. all foot wear. next ill go buy my jeans and tops n skirts n the list goes on....so here comes the never ending.....bla bla bla

we even saw alia and haniza in mv. and it was a lovely suprise. so as usual we did nothing interesting but head home and do nothing till just now i went out with my dad to eat at fatty crab. the must go place to eat. i ate A LOT. so figure la how tasty it is. and with this i end my post....toorah!!!

pop ye ye!!

Lots of Love,
Nina

TravelMate

27/8/2005 - What happened in my world of today? yesterday midnight i had to see wandy go. he left kl for Japan after a week here with me!!. I thought i wouldn't be sad to see him go but the agony of watching him walkaway towards the departure hall and knowing it will be long till he comes back to visit is just so hurtful.

*...im sorry for what i did as i seriously hope he will come back very soon...*

i drove with a downpour in my eye. feeling that the time we've spent together was so short it was barely enough. would i want to make it right, and have the power, ill turn back the time and toil around to make his visit the bomb. but i know this is possible as no one could change or take back time.
as im writing this, my stomach begins to churn in a way that my hands are to nervous or "bergetar" to type anything. ill stop here before my heart bleeds n my eyes go watery. i love n miss the atmosphere. LOVE LOVE LOVE!!! u know who u are...

Lots of Love,
SAMBAL BELACAN LOVER

Ta'aruf Week

Well hello again everyone who's actually given a shit to read my entries. well ure the best!! Ta'aruf week or commonly known as orientation week has been over 2 weeks ago for me. To tell you in one word, IT SUCKS! he he he. when has orientation week been great? as far as i can remember it has never been great thru out my life. for the first day there was buses to bring us back n forth from the mahallah(hostel) to the place we have to go. but after that, all is for walking.its like 15mins walk from our hostel to our main hall where everybody is susppose to gather. sad ain't it? i guess the buses were just to impress the parents on the first day that we are given the best facilities. BULLSHIT! the commitees are like diktators. and the most painful part for me is i didnt get to mandi for like 2 days.can u imagine that we can't even go back to our respective mahallah to bath? silly la!! how more gross can that be kan? and they expect us to pray. isn't praying in islam means being clean as well? aiyer...this is a whole lot disaster that i couldnt wait to end. not forgetting the taking oath rehersals n the ceremony itself. nothing can be more irritating than that. despite the singing the uni's song la. thats the only way to sing our heart out after lotsa dissapointment. and you should see how we mock the mcs' *salah sikit sebutan alu kenak la..* but somehow coming to the end of the week it became better where we had our cultural night combination of 2 faculties in each group to perform that night. and we were stuck with BAR students. give a guess whats that? (Bachelor of Arabic students!!!) so give your mind something to figure. we even have to create our cheer. so u can say we were the best! our cheers are loud n energetic, but our performance are last on the list la. but we had fun. ha ha ha. but our males got 1st place for their performace. so its balance!

p/s: forgot to tell you, within the first 2days of orientation i found myself 3cute guys. so there should be a fun thing about it also kan? ahahaha.

lots of love,
SAMBAL BELACAN LOVER

HOMECOMING

Greetings perfect earthlings of my life!! howve everybody been since my last post? Moi have been fine except when i got the UIA registeration date a week ago. yea, sure like HELL! today is 1st of july, what will be happening for me all day today? ill be traveling across the south china sea in a little while leaving my dearest home sweet home. my feelings? hush hush baby dont i cry! go figure... later tonight we'll be having this suprise party for my cuzz. looking forward to it and have to check out my cloths! hah! glamourous chic coming right up! *biatch*

~~*INTERMISSION*~~

for the whole week, nothing magical has happened to fit into my small fairytale world but yesterday i met few old friends back in MRSM kch. its kinda odd having all of us gather back again even if its like only 9 of us. maybe 4 years from now we could do something more until we can fly everyone in our batch from all over the places to come n have a real gathering for a change. how's that sound? that would be the day ill be waiting for. to see what everyone has become.

Even as i am saying this, i can say that yesterday has lots of changes to offer not mentioning the gorgeous Aqiss has learnt how to break free. she's turned into the glamorous rock chic. with her pink hair and her gothic-ness. its fun to see her after all those years. she's a changed women. for zahie n shaz my oldest friend of all, nothing have really change for them as i often see them all year round..so that explains it kan? anne, my dearest niece to some who would know her from UIA or mayb around kuching, she hasn't change much too (or mayb im just use to her..) but she was our vanessa carlton for the day (shoot arif for this!). talking bout arif, he was once known as a sissy person but everyone should see how changed he is now. not a total hunk la if you know what i mean, but he looks great! VOILA! owh ya before i forget, it was also Ashairi's bday yesterday, he is slimmer now!! no more old ash just the new improved one. an english teacher becoming. ermmm..who else did i miss out? yeah its neela n asmida. at first i forgot their name..(sorry tak org..) till zahie refresh my memory but i still pronouce asmida's name as amidala. geez, thanks to star wars that is! didnt really talk to both of them but they look fine. who's the last person? owh how stupid of me...its MOI!! well you guys know me..so no need details...ahahaha...im not going to give details bout what we did or eat or talk but we sure had some fun yesterday. thanks for a lovely lunch u guys! *hUgS*

~~*bAcK*~~

ok...so thats the story of my so-called "perfect life" for at least yesterday la. and yea gotten news from my cuzz that my friend who met with a car accident last sunday morning is getting better than the last time i visited him on tuesday. he still needs fisiotherapy and still postponing his spm till next year, but im glad his alright except mayb his feelings : that..i am not sure after losing his bestfriend.

So, let us all sedekah Al-Fatihah to Abg Ermanwira. May he rest in peace. To amon, hope u get well soon kiddo.

Lots of love,

Nina

I PASSEDDD!!!

well hello again people!!! this is the beginning of another dream come true. no more fairytales or fairyland. IVE PASSED MY ARAB EXAMSSSSSSSSS!!! didn't know arab was effecting me so much. i barely could talk when i saw what i got. b+ for god's sake!!! OMG!! i was jumping around and my mom just said "owk tedahh...macam sik pernah pass anything jakk"...to some people u wont understand what my mom meant but who cares? i passed seh!!!! blimey cool! but the only thing im trouble dwith now is the offer letter. its still not coming. im sitting, waiting patiently now....so come already!!! guess thats the first part of today...write something else soon! toodledoooo....

p.s: happy happy happy!!! smurf smurf.....yeehaaaaaaaaaaa

lots of love,
Nina

Here I Am

whats the date today? its 20th of june and its my cousin, kak mimie's birthday. but she celebrated yesterday at this place called JAMBU. some new place in kuching. i decided not to go cause i was too tired to even get dress, so in the end my mom went alone. as what everybody told me today, nothing great happened that night cause everyone was just sitting there having a few drinks and laughing. similar to lepaking at home. despite the dressing up la!

This is among the usual things we do among our family members to keep the bond strong. Even among the cousins we will organise parties or any events so all of us can get together and remind ourselves that nothing beats the love we have for each other. just to keep the knot tight. this is the rutual thing. you can say we dont need anybody else to get the party started. its what we do best! even the aunties and uncles are so cool about it. there will also be annual holidays for the whole family. so you can see at certain time of the year, they will be around 70++ of us gathering at the airport to catch the flight.

nothing can beat this happy moments. and yea, we do have fights here and there. you can hear screaming and shouting from parents when the kids does something wrong, babies wailing their voices out to get attention and the adults getting all tensed to just prepare everyone. its a lot of hassle but theres always a nice ending to it especially when it comes to shopping. you can see all sort item being purchased. just say the magic word to us "juh gi shopping juh!!" everyone will like quickly assemble themselves. it happens so fast that sometimes we dont realise that people dissappear in a poof! cause as usual no one wants to be left out in the spree of the moment.you should see the way we go. everyone walking so fast and grabbing what catches the eye. its so funny! i dunno how much we've spend but even how many trips we went in or how many places we've been it seems never enuff. this is what we call fever of shopping! guess it runs in the family!!! *LOL*

At the end of each holiday we will encounter the same old problem. LUGGAGE EXCESS! well, what do you expect when people shop too much?? you will see some trying their luck with the ground staff just to get the excess luggage in. some paid the excess fees thou and some just become luckily unnoticed! hows that?

This doesnt happen only on holidays, all sorts of things happen to us all thru our lives, ups and downs of us...from raya celebration to holidays, weddings, and did i mention we kinda celebrate all the celebration there is in Malaysia? this is the uniqness of the Marzuki family. Im happy and glad to be born in this multi-racial superb family! I love my family to the max! And proud of us every bit.*cheers love!

p.s: dedicated to every family members tat has touched my life in all aspects especially to the elders who have made our lives (the younger ones) a living heaven! ~a.norlia,u.osman, a.ya, u.khalid, a.janah, a.nora, MAMA, and a.baini. i appreciate all the efforts *hUgS*

p.p.s: specially to all my cousins who are too long a list to mention, i love u guys too.. and *nong, ure the bestest cuzz n friend i could ever wish for!

lots of love,
Nina

LINK 102

the beginning of world today. dedicated to lots n lotsa sleep. coz as usual didnt sleep till 6am this morning. was woken up by mama at around 1230 coz she dislike the idea of me sleeping until noon. blotted she says. so i woke up with all kind of garis garis on my body. so i was like.."how did this happen?" but being me, i couldnt care much so i just pick my towel up n go strait for a joyful bath. not knowing much tat my plumbing system in the bathroom has gone wrong. my feet was particularly soaking wet up till my ankle. so gross!!! so after conditioning my hair n scrubing my body, i quickly rinse so i can get out of tat stupid shower room. seriously need repair!!! to my suprise my cousin, kak rina was at my house already by the time i got out of the bathroom. its been a long time since i met her. a month maybe? so i got dressed and sat at the table to eat lunch with everybody. so now the whole world can know im a lazy bum who only gets up by almost 1 o'clock. ShiSHhhh! Lost my appetite again, only ate my sambal belacan, rice n veges. the best items for a meal! so my mom was constantly asking why am i not eating and all? i just said im full. what is there to say? needless to mention that my mom gets worried nowadays to see how i eat. so little not like the normal me.

as i am sitting here, i just got back from KLiA to put our box for storage till we check in later tonight. going back to kch for few weeks. cant wait to get on with holidays with fitness first! run on the traidmill and the ab toner. all at the comfy of my own gym at home. no more flabbiness and aloha new image of a stunning lady? i presume? ahahhaha. just hope im not arse lazy to do it la. *cross-finger* the funny part of the drive to the airport was, i slept AGAIN! full 3 hours sleep, my dad had to wake me up so i can go down n buy dunkin donuts for my siblings. i was totally pulling my baru bangun tido look. i guess the cashier saw tat one coming. so i settle for the 12 pieces free 3 pieces of donuts. thats a hell of donuts to spare for the whole household. unless my brother gobbles everything up la. but i highly recommend people to try the peanut, butter and jelly donut. its so damn nice seh!! the true pleasure of donut! check it out n try one alright? im going to go now, this blog has became one long blog already. i bet whoever is reading it will be so bored. so toodleloooo! have a fun and exciting holidays ok you guys? esp. to the cat lover, cheese lover, veggie hater, love lover, n tomato lover? i stil cant get that one person right. damn! bye bye!! off to kch! yeaaaa.....

p.s: so sarah, tell me what u really like k? so i can dedicate you the real thing. *hUgS*

Lots of love,
Sambal Belacan Lover

flirty day

Assalamualaikum...

wow..im actually giving salam after a long time not doing so. dont be so shocked...im just in my goodie girl mood. anyways, what happened to me today? i went out with my parents to jalan tar to get my material shopping going. so now i end up having four pairs of sarees to make into baju kurung or mayb just the three of them and the other one ill use it for deepavali? what u guys think? i so love my rust colour saree. its so unique n nice. to me tat is. we actually walk all around jln tar for a start. KL has turn hot all of a sudden. the government should consider planting more trees in tat area. the sun was striking my skin and honestly boiling my blood above 100 degrees. well imagine tat. my mom was sickly having headache after the spree and we had to dash home so she could take her bath and get some rest. being my mom tat couldnt stand any sunshine. perfect sunshine! hah!

the funny part was, even in all those rush i could stil squeeze moments for question time. oh boy did my mom get annoyed but she was a good sport for it in a way. (thats what mother are for kan?)

me: ma, pa just a tiny question.

mama: what?! (annoyed tone)

appa: yes darling... (this is more like it la!! ahahahha)

me: well actually, im just wondering what if any of your children
fall in love with someone from a different race?

mama: do you need this answer urgently?

*i was like...duhh ma! its not an exam question...just answer la! but my dad was being cool and answering the question...didnt know he's like tat thou!

appa: of course not darling. people fall in love with different type
of people everyday but the most important thing is that person
has to have good attitude.

me: i just said...ohhhh! like tat ka?

*then my mom answered..

mama: well obviously i dont mind at all...see what race your dad is?
silly cow! and our family is so multi-racial. ishh...

me: i was laughing so loud but what my dad asked after tat was a bit shocking la cause he is never like tat.

appa: why did u ask all that huh? you have anybody in mind ke?

me: (in my mind) aiyer...how to answer this! i was shy so i finally shut up and just smiled sheepishly.

this continued until we got home. so my dad never pursue anymore cause he knows how i feel.

so, what im trying to say is...i have brand new parents who i could open up to. before i use to be scared to tell them anything. even to ask if i can go out also i takut! now its just like a big happy family with lotsa love around. i like!!!! all started when i finally confessed to my mom few days ago, tat i did have a boyfriend before and broke up with him few weeks back. now im currently available for anyone to kacau! ahahaha...

so, as tomorrow is approaching, im leaving kl for kch. having holidays and going to rest and be lazy all the time. before those hectic time in uni comes again. but surely motif one is to loose few more pounds so i can look stunning! healthy lifestyle the key to happiness!!?

p.s: i love love love my life now....yeah!!

lots of love,
sambal belacan lover

the cool dude

ive never been completely honest with myself. ive always on the bound whereby im obssesed for "other peoples' feelings are more important than mine." i get confused n it sucks! this happens to me allllllll the time! even in this emotional crisis. someone loves me but im not sure i how much my love for him is. then there's this one person i am finally considering to like but some shitty problem comes and gave me a hard time deciding. i know people will say no one is asking you to choose but matter of fact im sick of all this. pushing n telling me the right thing to do. whats more important is what i want right? cant people just leave me alone to decide than mingle around to make me more confuse? shishhh...even on my birthday (that is 2 days ago-hah im 19!! ehehehe) that particular someone did all sorts of things to hurt me even if its not planned. but on the other hand an angel came to be someone particularly cool. how can i ignore this liking feeling when im in deep shit than someone than feels good comes around? mayb i need therapy. so those interested to have a glimpse at my problem feel free to signup for the corrective session. ok? i seriously need helpingsssssss....see those sssssss? thats how serious this goes. and a piece of advice to all, never get involve in a relationship when ure not ready. USE YOUR BRAIN! USE YOUR BRAIN! this is what i get by not using my brain....shit! good night chocolate lover, cat lover, art lover, veggie hater, love lover, and rock lover. im going to get some shut eye before i go crazy! Love you guys tops!

lots of love,
Sambal Belacan Lover

Open Entry

Ive just came back from Aroma (this "hip" cafe students like to go for dinner mostly esp. when it means u can see people! aha?) and now at the cc still wondering why im online and not studying? Arab exam is less than a week's time. Well for lotsa obvious reasons i have friends who is corrupting my mind into doing all this things. yes? (oppsie...no hard feelings guys!)

owh yea, talking bout friends, my friend syaza just built her own blogspot area for us to kutuk her and have this all-u-can-read page about her pathetic daily routine. *grin* anyhow, is kinda weird having people liking this kinda thing plus its becoming so famous now!!! aiya...

ok my blog is lacking of cool ideas as i dunno what else to write. i tot of so much before coming in today but forgot it the second i got in front of the pc. damnit! mayb i was still too shock seeing this particular embarassing picture of my friend. i hope that person will come back to his senses to keep his words. sheeshhh im annoyed.

ok la...im off..swishh wooofff! toorah n good night...LATERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

Lots of Love,
Nina

He is Just Not into You

ok, last sunday i went to popular with the rest of my kiddos and found a book titled "he is just not into you". Its a-must-have book for girls who just think tat they are not good enuff for jerks out there. reading it has given somekind of a new perception to me about relationships and how it should be. not with having your boyfriend abbusing you, not calling cause he's too busy (yada-yada), the not ready excuse nor the cheating part of them.

we as females, women,girls or wadeva we call ourselves have to hold on to our dignity and nothing beats the love for ourselves. why sell ourselves for someone who's not worth it as u can find a hot gorgeous someone like urselves, the HOT STUFF!

if u let me brag about this one, i guess even the whole page is not enuff to write all in cause lotsa comments for it. just grab the book and read it for urself. i bet u will like it. just a help book to be kept.

p.s: no offence guys!
p.p.s: i love someone!! and i know he's worth it.

lots of love,
Nina

SORE

Colours on the rainbow to cheer a lifetime. Cheerful notes to sing the lullaby. Few tear drops to keep a sore heart. Tossin' and turning to get things right. Pieces of jigsaw puzzle on the floor to match the empty spaces.

Im feeling numb inside, sore around me just by thinking what ive done. But one thing for sure is my shield havent collapse to make me regret what ive done. maybe when the storm outside has gone, the sunshine will come out and greet me cheerfully! Selamat Pagi Dunia!

Brand neu Day

Came back from kl last night, now enjoying the every minute i will be getting in kch. going to watch star wars after this! so coooollllllllllll... anyways, didnt know what to say more. was just excited to come home but was suprised to hear from my mom that a friend of mine got married few weeks back and gonna have a baby soon! so cool la....i bet the baby would be so cute and adorable like the mommy n daddy kan? wont it future parents? happy happy thing for you guys!! *much love*

AFTER EXAMS

today is the day of fun. exams are over, i have a great weekend that i dedicate to absolutely nothing but rest my head after a long week studying for arab midterm. something tells me that its worth it but yea sure to hell im nervous of the results. im not gonna think i failed or anything but im just gonna keep thinking ive passed! yeay?!!

i tot of going back home today but i guess i cant do anything when my dad is off meeting doctors right? feel sad all of a sudden now. i want back!!! *pause*

ok im back...a bit down but cheerfully smiling. how weird? let me share something with all of you. *hssshhh* i confess something to someone and felt weird bout it afterwards but can i seriously be blamed? i dont think ive ever felt the same way. not now not never. true la if people say true loves esp the first would always stay as sweet memories. you may have lotsa partners within the duration of finding one but when the first true one comes you'll know.

owh well my blog has become something so "jiwang-ish". im gonna stop cause i feel like i wanna puke when i re-read it. so till later..toorah!! *hUgS*

F*cking Idiots

ok i know im not suppose to use all the nasty words there is but im so freaking annoyed!!! something tells me people can be so horrible to another. this is a moment of truth whereby i hate being myself and just feel like running away from this pathetic life n circles of people. im hitting around the bush i know. coating n under coating. sh*t. this is why i hate making friends and being too good to people. once they know they can stab they'll stab hard leaving you no space to breath. why i feel all this? cause people are so selfish and yet want to potray otherwise. this is so much hypocrisy for a lifetime!!! i wish im back in my hometown, even laid back but at least no one shuts me out like rubbish! city lifestyle? everyone is cruel...look out for yourself and never never never give in if u dont have to. one thing i learn to even survive in this cruel water channel. aggresive is bad but being submissive? knowing people can toy you around? go to helll to those who feels they greater than others. my word of advise to people out there, please please think of how people would feel if u hurt their feelings. especially if u do that to your own friends. have sensitivity in yourself. arghhh this is a waste la. no one will change because of this...ill sleep now!! good night blog...my forever loving space! *mwahs* *hUgS*

p/s: i love my familyyyy!!!! nong, if ure reading this i just wanna tell im fed-up and miss home!!!
p/p/s: syg, i also wish ure here to cheer me up!

Sahlun Jiddan

ok..thats my favourite word for the whole semester! cause i want to think arab as a "sahlun jiddan" language. arab was ok. i have 2 ustaz teaching my class. one of them just cant help it but talk in arab 24/7 that sometimes i get tottally annoyed with esp. when he ask me questions i couldn't answer. how could you expect a student with no basic to understand arab seh?? another ustaz of mine is quite good in a way. i can understand n learn at the same time. not forgetting funny too. so to sum everything up..there kinda cool for Arab teachers la. something to feel glad about. anything interesting this week? owh ya i fell sick on monday. i think it was caused by the heavy downpour i had to ran into while carrying the vacuum cleaner from my apartment to the car! shit it was a big deal!!! so berat seh with umbrella in my other hand. but im ok now.. just soar throat n stupid flu. i need those lozenges to cool off...thank god i love the taste of my ubat batuk...ehehehhe...ok la..im not going to crap nymore....toodles ya'll...gonna rest n study for MUET exam due this saturday..wish me luck ya'll! *hUgS* here comes the highest band!!

Home Alone

First caution for people staying home alone, check your doors, windows and grils are safely locked to keep unwanted visitors coming in!! DOUBLE CHECK IF YOU HAVE TO! this has nothing to do with this blog im
writing..just expressing myself!! i now wish astro provides better satelite signals to homes as im so stressed out cause my astro programmes watching are interupted since this morning. just a slight breeze makes it all turn cracking..so sial sia!!! staying home alone, the only friend you have is the tv and the net...no wonder the net was invented. ehehehe...ok now im bored writing..later la! chow!

p/s: this blog has no sense..so scrammm!

~only stupido~

One two step, one two step

Have anyone ever consider dancing as a profession? it would be so cool...yeah actually dancing could be so fun an enjoyable. nothing beats it especially if you can REALLY, REALLY move to the beat..just shake! shake! here and there and VOILA! its a dance! ahahahha...i know im crapping but im having fun now and eventho im leaving at home all alone without company from whoever might come along, i wish now i went back to kch..at least ill surely get a decent meal everyday. im been choking on bread for the past 2 days...so not me...hate it hate it hate it!! ok la..wandy is calling now..ill get back to this entire blog writing later on! tOorAhhhh...

~oUttA hEre~

Dedicated to The Only One Before I Go

"Sometimes the best and the most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, cannot be touched, but can be felt in the heart "

Love doesnt need a reason...its something u can feel burning inside ur heart and waiting to be explode of love...Please, never ever ask me why I love u cause to me love is nature and without love the world is nothing but a piece of crap...As everyone loves the world, I love my loved ones... and you're in the circle of my loved ones. Always will and stays there....my loving hummingbird! *mwahs*

From someone who cares,
Nina

Modern Arabic

yeah...ustaz is coming soon to take back the books he lend me few days ago. what can i say about arab! DIFFICULT!! SIMPLY DIFFICULT! any other word to discribe arab? i dont think so...anyway i hope ill catch up when i get back to college. cause you know..im a slow learner...but i think im gonna love it somehow. wanna bet? im truly obsessed! and did i tell you bout my ustaz? he is young...but sadly he didnt turn out to be a hottie or benjamin mckenzie for the matter. if not ill surely dump my boyfriend for him...ahahahha just joking syg! (if ure reading this..) but yea...if he was that actor like looking guy, i guess all my arabic language will potray his face? no jawi but faces! i bet u on that and ill always feel excited n up beat for classes but what can i do? he doesnt turn up to be that kind. so god is obviously fair...if not ill never going back to uia to study arab but just stay here and do the "e-jarak" test from home..yea? got to go...ustaz to layan! *mwahs*

p/s: should i imagine him as RYAN? hah!

valuable lesson

everytime we encounter obstacles in our lives we always blame others for our misery but never have we actually see thru ourselves to see whats the entire problem. ive learnt a valuable lesson through out the entire holiday. not have i just learn to appreciate things around but also it has opened my eyes wider and heart to accept the wrong turnings in my life. sometimes we can't help it but just do things the wrong way. if there's someone who wants to held a helping hand, why not? im just ordinary, nothing extraordinary about me but im trying. and will always keep on trying. they will never be a fairy tale conclusion when we don't work hard for it. some may say they've work hard enuff to get what they need but i just realise that maybe if we try harder it will just work. sometime what we think is not always right. we think we've done it but in actual fact its just part of our hardship. can people change for the better? yeah i guess so...just keep on trying and have faith in Allah. if until the last resort we still don't get what we wish for...then maybe Allah has better things for us...in the afterlife perhaps? i do believe....

HELPPPPPPPPPPP!!!

ive been trying to edit my html to put shout out box n link but i cant...so how? kuhaz if ure reading this i need help! ehehhehe..im so lousy at this! *chOw*

Book Review

Normally i would never thought of reading a Danielle Steel's book but this particular one attracted my attention. "Bittersweet" how do people define this word? The first time i saw the book it reminded me much of a chocolate from beryl's. so funny that the fav chocolate i like turn to be a book i recently love. funny aint it? but its cool.

the book tells us a story about a married woman that was stuck to a husband she thought loved her. over 17 years of marriage never once occured to her that the only thing her husband had in mind was to tie her wings by taking care of the family, as a chauffer and cook. her life wasn't all that bad but it all turn bad when she realise one day when all her 4 children grew older she was lost and missed her old life that is as a photojounarlist. stories (uncovering the sadness of other people through her camera lens...covering in kenya, bosnia, etc and helping them in a way) Remembering all that she tried to talk senses into her husband to take up assignments once in awhile, something nearby but sadly he opposed the decision. From there onwards, their relation cracked and she finally got to know that her marriage to her husband was part of a "deal" once said out when she decided to marry him and forget her carrier. A perfectly closed door to the other world. It gloom her when her husband told her that she can't expect them to be crazy in love after all those years. its just too childish. so, with that she just closed herself for him until he finally met a guy named Paul Ward whom is married to the famous author Serena Smith. Summer at Cape Code for her was the best that year. India (her name) learn how to break free after the encouragement Paul gave her. Started with fear till she had the guts to stand up for herself infront of her husband, Doug. Friendship bond started between them accidently. From there the ups and down of a crisis appear one by one uncovering the truth. A bewitching, dynamic and heart throbbing tale of a woman that wants to do something out of herself and insearch of herself after those years blocked.

how about it guys? don't you think this is rubbish? and hell yeah there are those kind of guy out there who just wont listen to us (women) even after all the modern civilizations. I love this book as it gives true meaning of what life could be. In a way could change most lives. It gives courage to women out there that is stuck with a life crisis how to deal with it and endure the pain as it fades. Need not to be rough as India potrayed a humble, sweet and soft woman with strong eagerness to make her dream come true. Not everything in this world is done with violence. She made it in the end and became stronger than ever for herself and her children.

Give it a try..nothing to loose....Peace for all the women in this world! We are the feminity and best creature alive! *hUgS*

Get Lifted

Ectasy is the word of the night...bring it in and we all can fly! substatuition for our boring life. there's nothing like it...dance dance dance! anything more fascinating? light of conversation has it flows, over communication is a bore and i feel quite content right now. stick with me we'll make history...surely there's nothing to compare. i need ecstacy! hah! john legend will be a legend..

~soul food~

All Alone

Here i come in wide open arms, in this dream again. to be the only one. i share my dream with somebody today but nothing seems so right. now i know im all alone again in my room and back again to be the lonely one. sometimes i cry refining all the things i had to do, to make someone happy and understand me but i know its hard for people to appreciate cause these are the minor things in life people forget to be thankful. i wasnt suppose to indulge myself back again into this kind of trauma that would keep me in the coma for the rest of my life. im not the singing bird people could cage in those golden cage as i would love to fly above the sky. feel free and independantly. the stronger i meant to be the weaker i get. the harder i try to build the walls around me they crumbles like ashes easily. this i s a black code for my little black book. peace for all eternity!

circles of memory!

well...didnt do anything extraordinary or amazingly good things today but manage to get up from bed at 1pm..a new record since a year ago! i have forgotten how nice it is to wake up late the next morning and still dunno what else better to do...now its holiday for us (UIAians) and such a relief esp. for those undergoing architecture course. sleeping can never be more alluring than now...despite the fun part of having hols now..i actually miss my studio mates. have been spending the whole entire year with them...rejection, proposals, drawings, presentation,. personal activities, dancing in the studio and etc. nothing in this entire universe could beat those kind of memory we shared. knowing we are actually going back there in 3 weeks time to finally complete our foundation year with arabic course in the end, its kinda cool but won't be the same. when we do get to the main campus...everything will change and i am sure some will lead the more circles in life they will come across later on. being around people you trust and love is the best ever thing we can ever wish for. they were my fine experience and they were also my bad dreams. everything in one makes my life fun with so many spices. maybe the entire meal will be ready after the next 5years.

I LOVE MY STUDIO MATES (14)!!!

do you know that we are the best ever?

be proud...cause im proud of us!

good luck to everyone and hope you guys get what you want in life!

long live the spirits of our determination!

Take care *hUgS*

bon appetite!

dinner at marche-muvenpick was fantastic..might go there to wobble the waffles again..its so nice and delicious and everything nice in this world! better than the waffle world, OU. anyways was just dropping by to say that! hah! everyone curious where the place is? its at our own local new mall...the curve. nice n sleek...its another place i want to be at....go check it out! yeeeha....here comes wobbling! *hUgS*

tOoraHhh

lets start with umul kitab Al-Fatihah....Bismillah...

actually im sitting here waiting for my mom to get a shut eye so i can sneak around calling wandy...but sadly i will just have to wait. to another part, im currently happy (AGAIN!) cause The O.C season 2 has started..so excited..and what more can i be happy about? sound of music this friday and...yeah finals are almost over...one more paper...yeeha?
tomorrow will be going back to college again to set up for external assessment from KAED and i dunno why i feel numb. mayb im just not very keen. but will have to go through it also anyhow. plus tomorrow we will have this farewell party kinda thing at our respective studio whereby my mom is cooking mee kolok..some sarawak speciality...yummy! to all sarawakians they will know and the first thing that will come out from their mouth is "Ya Bok Nyaman!!" ehehhe...i miss home!
oklah...im off now...bored of writing..till sound of music! tOOoooRaHHHhhhh!!!

Lots of love,
Nina

toilet papers anyone?

The miracle of toilet paper......
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds. Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toiler paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.

"How long will this take?" I asked.
"They will grow larger over a period of years" my husband replies.
I stopped.
"Do you really think this will do the trick?"
Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"
He's still alive and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again.
Stupid, stupid man.

**for some laughters out there**

something smells

ok i know i shouldnt be doing this as i am in my exam week but who can stop a girl for being curious to write? i know someday it'll kill me but as for now im leaving it to uphold...dignity and beyond? yeah wadeva...anyways i have been stress out for this couple of weeks but all of it is soon to be over...one paper down and 3 to go...what do you expect me to feel? easy...happy happy happt toooraAaaHhhHHhh! yeeha...im so gonna enjoy this laggingness in me to register i am stil in EXAMMMM week but im so gonna enjoy the sound of music broadway show even better after the exams...please please please come back to my senses...yah already! im starting to crap more than i would be able to in real life. this is plain text..no one can deny its very good and easy to use. express ya'll...its time to express the grooveeeeeeee...yeah babe! im outta here...there's rice to cook in the kitchen... tOoodLeSsssSSS!!! i love smacking butt! check out guys butt is better...dont ya think? love 'em...em em em! *wink!

depletion of today

since the presentation, ive had restless nights but just that! gladly i was home to take my mind of it. anyways, something happened today that made me laugh at a stalker that could never leave me to rest in peace...die perhaps but surely not in peace. coating inscripts that mayb i wouldnt understand but i figured it out dude!!! im a hell of a chic for you to mess around with. i maybe gentle and bubbly but im not dumb. yeah? well other than that nothing extraordinary happened. just laze around after computer quiz and just got back from kak amu's house for dinner. nothing could be done more lovely than today. thanks to me, myself and i...im loving every minute of my life. anything gonna happen will happen...even if we don't like it. im trying to have an open heart for this so help me GOD! toooOOOoorahhHHhhhHHhhh everyone! and good night..

p/s: sorry to cut it short...finals this friday! wish me luck! *hUgS*

me, today

first and foremost i got back to my room around 5 this morning...not forgetting i have FKM quiz in 5 hours...how much sleep do i get? only 4? well yeah..after the finals are over im surely gonna get more sleep than ever....all this midnight awakening is making me sick...after this im going strait to the studio again to see what i can finish by this evening before proceeding home...wah! no place like another....home sweet home....i like the sound of it as im getting tired of this stupid lil campus of mine...everything is restricted...whatever la! so now im sitting in my cc doing some updating...after this it would be work work work work!!!! yeeha...A plus for this one...

im feeling crappy the whole day depsite the laughters here and there this morning. i dont feel right bout something...how can i know its what i want? questions questions and questions in and out...but i hope it will end some how...please owh please i need a break! chalo....

p/s: owh ya i did extremely good in my quiz this morning...yeea?

tOOooOOOrAhhHHhhhHHhh!!!

The Mighty Me

ok ok...i know the title made a confusion for all of you currently reading..what can i say? nothing else amuse me the most than a pretty kick off title loving myself too much. im self centred and nothing can be done about that. i dont think anyone has ever love theirselves too much like i do. Anyways, im in computer class AGAIN!! at its 3.33pm and im half dead...opps! i mean half bored. Have tonnes to do but still working on it. Too lazy! finals is just around the corner..talking bout around the corner...im SOoooo going to the the sound of music broadway show! so cool kan? ive been a fan all my life and now its all becoming so true. well here i go again crapping nonsense..but i likeeeeeeeee! to tell you the truth i dunno why im posting this issue but simply cause ive finished comp class? got 8 over 10 so that'll be ok right? ok lah..dunno what else to say. i love myself more than anything. love for fools? nahhh...love for the dead...mentioning JESSE the hot spanish ghost...i know he's around me looking out for me...how cool can this be? yeay!!

lots of love from the writer/poster,
Bewitching Star @ Nina Liyana

something got to give

nothing interesting here guys!! get out! watch out! hurry save you lives from reading this hideous write up! im just taking a break on research now. heavy load on my back right now as finals are approaching..can't believe my foundation year is finally going to be over soon!! anyways, as me and my beloved "daddy" crack our brains to get this work done..(well, cant have my own brain craked, cant i?) some may be enjoying zoukfest in Genting right now....so not fair!! im stuck with assignments and my cuzz as well as my neighbour is stuck babysitting her youg cute adorable sister....which is better? hah!! to end this heart breaking session ill say....good night!
gotcha!! you guys must have expected something like more flowery ending? thanks to my cracking brain i cant develop a single line...bye guys and i hate those you went to zoukfest cause i wanttttttt also!!! *bluek~~

Computer Class

Few hours ago I did my laundry and it felt good with good smell in the room and all. Everything was perfectly fine until my computer class that is so damn bloody annoying whereby I have gotten a headache thru out the session. Hah! I don’t even understand half of what she is saying. So here goes my babbling in n out of the history of my GORGEOUS life. Mwahs love you guys!!

p/s: im in my computer class btw…cheating on the net!!! Yeah!! While sue is “bengang” cause she cant get online! ehehehe

The O.C

I know this may sound lame but im gonna write it anyways. The Orange county or famously known as The O.C starring cute Adam Brody and my forever loving Benjamin McKenzie (ahh..he's so cute!) Before i dont think i notice any O.C lying around the screen but after recommendation of a friend called SUE i am OFFICIALLY STUCK to it in an out...so now my days are filled with OC crave. Thinking of it makes me WAAAAAAAAA!!! something bout the series that mesmerize me in an instance. I can still remember the hours i spend watching OC few weeks ago on a school night using Sue's laptop and her dvd's. i was suppose to get some sleep but i didnt cause i watch OC instead till 3 or 4 in the morning. Watching from the beggining. Finally realise someone's cute with the smile! RYAN my lover....im considering myself as an OC fan cause im loving each time i watch it. I dunno how long this may go on but im counting on it to go as far as it can cause ive spend a lot already yesterday buying the whole season 1 just for the sake of re-watching....my mom fainted when she heard bout the money i spent! (hah..joke!) she wasnt even suprise as her daughter is noted to spend spend spend.
To all the people who havent or do not intend to watch OC...give yourself a break and go watch...maybe you'll like it and it would be another series of F.R.I.E.N.D.S becoming popular in people's heart.Or not like it? who knows? Cause even my cousin and my mom is on it...what about you?

I LOVE THE O.C!!!~~