the real scenario

life has a weird way to show its rebel towards people. my luck for the past 20years wasnt always on top but it wasnt even bad to start with too. but for the past 2 weeks. its been like shit. no one can understand what ive gone through. not you. so forget it. to those who has helped me along the way in making myself stronger and solving what ive gone through, i appreciate. and for what i still hold indebt with you people, ill soon repay. for you i want to say thank you. to you i hope for your life long jolly good of happy life. cause honestly. u people are the best. thank you. i love you deep down. and i mean it.

this that this

i just came back from penang last night at 1am. penang is ok. just hot. well, cant expect to do anything more than eat and visit few people we know in a short time of a day. due to my stupid meeting at 2pm today, we didnt stay 2nights as we planned earlier. but its all alright. appa met his old collegue uncle goh. and another guy that i cant remember his name. and then we went to meet my aunt from my dad's side in sungai petani. well, it wasnt anything grand but its ok. met everyone in just a short 2hours. and then we drove back to kl. the weather was melancholy last night. i drove half the way last night until i decided not to when we reach kuala kangsar. so hard to drive in that drizzle. during the drive mama said something to me... "i know whats going on in your life now, dont forget i have instincts..." hehe i just laughed. but she was damn serious for me to break up with who ever the guy im with now. apparently she thought he was a dj of some sort. yeah, in that scene but toally different. im just gonna re-think about it. so much things to consider. she said this too "you dunno if ure on a rebound unless u hit something along the way..." maybe it is true. or not. who knows? so ill sit down and think this over. good bye for now. hugs and kisses from me to everyone. special reminder...IM HAPPY.

*LOVE*

Pictures of MOI

ATTENTION!!!!!

hey beautiful people...check out new pictures i posted in multiply. just direct yourself to the my picture link. me and radhi at C.V and also raya pictures! finally i can post them. especially to my worthy cousins. go check out our raya pictures. hehe love you people!

*mwahs*

hater

im so foolish. how can i be so foolish? and how can people be so cruel. GOD! my life is fucked up again. Just because of YOU! i hate you. and i never ever want to see you! not now not ever. GO AWAY!

aie eh...

im sick of everything at this moment. i think ill die with no one around me. i know i sound pathetic but this is my chapter today. i thought things are turning for the better. but it hasnt actually. but im still partially happy. thanks to all supportive beings. big or small. *gives myself a hug* love is never easy...its tiring!

Just dont be Me! its sad...

p/s: this song is playing in my head while posting this: Maliq & d'essentials - kau yang ada dihatiku *sigh*

wha diz?

life is just a normal cycle. we are born into this world, we die into the world in our later life. but what happens in between is the interesting part. will we be the goody angel or the red devil? well, our actions speaks louder than words. thats why God keeps a record of all the actions we do. from the bad to the good ones. which weighs heavier wins. well, it sounds so simple but it takes every effort in ourselves to determine what type of person we are. i may want to be good by nature but persuaded being bad once in awhile by other forces. so yeah, i dunno anymore. what ever comes out of us is our responsibility. dont blame it on others. im trying not to. so if i blame the wrong-doings of mine onto you, dearest people, remind me about this post ok? im my own responsibility. and no other.

Love, respect and hate each other with good basis. dont just judge or pin point at others. it doesnt work that way. LIFE is BEAUTIFOOL. like you and me.

Lots of things in head,
Nina

ok. STOP.

i love my boyfriend. yes i know i do. so stop saying i dont and im on a rebound. ok? just stop. you know for a fact its not. *urghhh* ive let u go ages ago. and i am definately not turning back even how often you tell me stories that maybe in 2-3years time we will reminisce back our past and start planning our future. US together? i hope not. i dont want YOU. so bug off. i admit i love you once and i still miss you but just let go and let me live my life. i want to feel something other than your stupid lies and your denial life. So, STOP. Move on. Im on the head start. Follow your path as i follow mine. Cause i know ure not worth my time crying, sobbing and feeling sad about. So give me space to create my new life eliminating you from it. yes. zero you. thank you for those illusion u put in my head for the past 3 years. and this is a stop to it. good day!

p/s: im forever myself's.

Let go,
Nina

Secretly....

Hello World! for the past few days, i was too happy to blog (not that im less happy today, but i just felt the urge of sharing it). when ure happy you have nothing to complain. and when u dont have anything to complain, u just want to sit down and dream that this good feeling stays the same til the end of times. Prolly im living in the illusion but no one can stop me. Thank you for bringing life back into me. *special dedication for my love one and GREAT friends*

i read sue's blog on fs and saw this musical title - fiddler on the roof. oh god, im trully touched. sue has this thing of finding things that are far too sweet and cool. sue, u dah buat i terasa hati baca that dialogue. and uve proved that love can also be learned and gained after marriage life not just at the first sight. *thinking smile*

today is a special day too, because it's EJ's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE. he is my very own hustler and my personal PIRATE. hehe a year older huh bee? i hope ure wiser...and im guessing ure having the time of your life in maison at this very moment im writing this blog. well, truthfully i hope u do have fun! and drink for me also alright? i LOVE you darling. and many happy returns for you now and forever!!! *mwahs*

ok, this is my complete cycle of today...the journey of life begins here and im hoping to have the best of it. another past life gone, a new chapter im stepping in. my book is fresh and my ink is full. so i better start writing and jotting in it soon. Here's to a funfilling and exciting life ahead...cheers!

p/s: im not dumb....just too clever! *LOL

Love,
Nina

a turn over...

its strange how life can just flip it's pages within seconds, minutes or hours for that matter. what i want to tell you now is that im happy with my current life. im not expecting a tremendous change in my so-called boring life. but a girl can hope. can they? ive had it with dramas, with tears and cat-fights. i want to be happy. as simple as that. and today is a happy day. ill remember this moment till the day i die. *THE DAY NINA CHANGED* and the mark of having someone totally new in my life. HOORAY! so, im happy. happy as can be! i love you....

to the friends i lost along the way in search of myself and being so drop dead emotional; especially my UIA friends, syaza, radhi, sue, kuhaz....forgive me if i ever hurt you guys ok? i love you guys from the bottom of my heart. and i mean it. *BIG HUG*

cheers to a happy ending!

Good Old Days

Listen to this song people - Bethany Joy Lenz "Then slowly Grows"

I got to know this song from my friend, ida. and ive been listening to it ever since i got to know it. this is how i feel now...but ill always be here!

Love,

Nina

taste it....

The distance separates us, little that we know responsibilities for others threw us apart while the love petals bloom. New kids walk pass us, they come and go. Family ties broke us down, even in this power of love. We seek second chances, but wished it was the way we were before. It came down to the lonely hearts to bring out the rainy day women. So dearly beloved, may we return with accomplishment and start our mallpisode with the blaze of glory. Forget violent beauty. Cause you're my love, my blood.

Love,
Nina

YO!

"Beauty of style and good rhythm depends on simplicity..."

rooted

im back in kch already. im happy (for now...). doing nothing thats why im blogging. i feel sakit perut. thanks to all the indian food i ate 2days ago at my dad's suprise dinner. he was actually stunned to see my mom in the house. who would expect his wife flying all the way over south china sea to come see him for his birthday?!? i would never expect my boyfriend or husband for that matter to do it. cause as it is im jinxed on getting clueless boyfriends. cant they like, be more sensitive towards things? aiyo.... *sigh*

if i havent booked my flight back today, i would have joined my cousins in cynna for a blast off birthday party and get drunk. he he he but being a good daughter (im trying my level best ok!) i flew back with my parents. how i wonder what my life would be if my parents are not family oriented people. well, i dont see them often but their instructions about family unity is really firm. sometimes situations are so unpredictable. at one time they dont care, at another they get emotional over nothing or simply say a BIG no. so, thats my family. YES! BIG HAPPY FAMILY!

i miss campus life already (the wonderful bits and pieces only). i miss my BFF ida cause she is just simply heartmelting psycho. no offence ida. i miss all the fun nights we had. im glad she is a changed person. and sorry for the bitchiness ive told about you. well marah kan...but we are good and cheers to her better rs so far. take care of her dude! *wink!

when will my life start to evolve towards the better side? to get better people around me, to get genuine friends that dont have a big ego, and just fun people to chill out with. and i seriously dont want a uia lifestyle. it freaked me out for awhile. so im HAPPY. and well rooted. *hugs myself*

Love me not..i dont care,
Nina

Life List

28th October ended...there wasnt any difference in the excitement.
Raya spirit ended...
Planning Studio 3 ended...
Portfolio ended
EXAMS...are just starting in few days.
Love life is resuming back...thank GOD.
Bitchiness are arising
Caringness is at stake

and i wonder what else will end my year.
and i wonder will my life be long enough to see what i may or may not become one day?
will i see myself good for the people?
will i see myself building a happy family and taking care of my parents & siblings?

or will i just be the next person the life will soon ends? i still wonder.....

p/s: i have my own mind too...but where are you now?

Love the Loveless,
Nina

Percentages

Body State - 70% strong 30% weak

Mind State - working 80%, dont care mode 10%, asleep 10%

RAYA spirit - 40% jiggie 60% lost spirit

Family unity - 60% : so low these days

Happiness - 40%

Sadness - 60%

BITCHINESS - 100%

Friends - 50%

Love - 20%

Hate - 70%

Complacent - 10%

Total LIFE percentage - 54.54%

Thank god its still above half. so i can say my life is still normal. *wink!

living pieces......

The significance of fasting month is you can lose weight or gain weight easily. what happen to me was, the first 2 weeks i lost a lot of weight due to takde selera makan...but currently im gaining again. due to my unstoppable eating habits. i like to snack. screw me if u have a problem with that. but this is what stress does to a person that has not been eating snacks for the past year. thanks to it, now im officially having BELLY again. not much though, but it has worsen this time around.

Another good thing about fasting is, time seems to fly rather fast and i cant wait to celebrate hari raya that is just in a week's time. im done with projects. i hate them tops. i just want to get our of this UIA circle and lead a normal life without having to wear hijab (my hair drops!!!! ish..), please people around me with diplomatic measures (just not me yo!), no more staying up at night to meet project deadlines and far worst is i dont want to look at this one particular face for a long time..maybe just for now(ntah...). but i just need a break from that pathetic n fugly face. GO AWAY BITCHES!!!! *opps puasa...*

now im having GIS class, havent started yet though but im not overly eager to come. my lecturer just had HIS PMS perhaps. he blow off his madness this morning with all those stupid reasons. ok, we are just human u know. dont expect us to be robots and do everything perfectly. i seriously think he knows about our internal portfolio today. and i seriously think he knows we will be supremely busy. but what did he do? got mad because the morning session didnt come to his class this morning. why we didnt? because we had our FCUKING portfolio didnt we? and our presentation was at 10 in the morning. class was at 8. u fcuking mad? he even said he will fail the morning session students. how much crueler can he be? is there such word? maybe becoming the next cruela devil. aiyohhh....life is so sad down here in gombak. seriously! so kesian....

ok, no more swearing nina, holiday is just around the corner....HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ME!! TO ME! TO ME! and a very Happy Raya to all. may your holiday be fill with fun and smiles. i hope mine will....i miss everybody back home already. and i never ever EVER want to come back to UIA ever again. can i? *YES!!!! YIPPIE!!!!*

p/s: my parents came back from umrah today..so thats one thing to be happy about. im glad they came back safely. i hope everyone in my family came back healthy. LOVE YOU GREAT PEOPLE that is called MY PARENTS. mwahs

Deep down Love From,
NinaLiyana aka The Living Legend. *hah*

merry go-round

life is at a downfall for me now. im a saddist bitch now. life is so fcuked up. too busy to care. i neglect many people around me. i hate this situation. why did i ever enrol in this stupid course! workloads pile up like mountain high. assignments after assignments, projects after projects, diplomatic maeasures after another. i hate being around UIA people for more than a certain period of time. its sucks life out of me. especially considering the love life that never came. sharks! i told u im lame.

ok, i have many confession. one thing may lead to me losing a friend. but one day, i may just have to tell. before i hurt & humiliate her more. pity this world. im fcuked up. enough said. and screw the world LOVE, LUST, LIFE. what a girl wants is only to feel that true love from a genuine person. may this come?

ida...maybe it will. kan? *smiles*

so, guys stop being pretencious. it doesnt work. and quit playing with our vulnerable heart. its too hurtful to bare. but girls do the same to. so both genders...just STOP! ok. least u can do is respect people's feelings....cause one day it may come back to you. life is a merry go-round.

Love,
Nina

drastic measures

i have to admit that being around uia people for straight 4 months (non-stop) and nada social life has robbed my way of thinking totally. i was talking to my friends last night over dinner for our so-called "sunat" break fast about this and its actually true that im very much a changed person. i need to get back to my other life! pronto! i am not saying this is totally bad...but im really scared of this other side of me. toooooo drastic. i think it all came to mind really hard when i lost my uncle. its a new leaf turnover. and its coming so fast. i even have the intention of wearing tudong outside! and my mom was ok with it. aiyah....cannot be la like this! break. stop. argh!!! prolly this is what we call, influential mode............so for now im going to re-think this measures. and many more things to consider before taking the next huge step.

till later people. toodle loo!!!

p/s: dont assume im so bad that i dont want this change but its
just not me. i need to think deep bout this.

Love,
Nina

Monthly Update

many have happened for the past few months. and yet i have no time to update my blog to share my happy and sad moments with everyone that cares. most shocking news i got was the death news of my uncle 2 weeks ago. it seems like just yesterday i last spoke to him and hear his laughters or his sacarstic remark on things around our house. and it was 2weeks ago too he just came back from melbourne. God is Almighty. He took him after he completed his circle of visit to all his children. yes, its unfair. but maybe Allah loves him more. and he is not needed here in this life. maybe he is now smiling down at us. looking at us in amaze how we bust our energy to get things done. or maybe he is with my grandparents gathered together with love. who knows for sure? but my love, prayers and tears will always be here everytime i think of him. I LOVE you PAPA OMAN. may you rest in peace. and may your soul is put among those who are "beriman" amin.

*brushing the sad momentum away...*

life have been going really fast these days. last week i went to Penang for our urban design studies trip. it was the bomb. and from there me and syaza went back to Sungai Petani to go see my dad's side of the family. it has been like 5-6years since i last saw them. my cousin got married a year ago. and gave birth to a baby girl. its kinda cool. other nephews n nieces are in good condition. my cousins are looking good. some changed totally and some remain the same. i think thats what life is all about. changes and circles. Mak Long is in good condition. She's fine. and my 2days stay was worthwhile. i wished i could stay longer but i have classes. i may come back again one day.

assignments are bulking up. mid-terms are coming up too. im busy. yes. and this may be one of those post i put for people's review for another few months coming. *smiles*

there's no time for love, admirance and flings. now is to boost up energy to study and score. i have to restore dignity and uphold papa oman's wish to have us complete our studies with flying colours.

take care everyone. im going to go now. assalamualaikum

Lots of Love,
Amanina

blurhhhh

angry moments. sweet moments. all are crushed in me. sipping my blood dry little by little. i have hatred for my friends(not all la). they dont know it cause im a coward lion. i nag a lot. but not do anything about it. aiyah. life. im sadist.but im happy with myself.dont judge me. or ill say "ouch". dont mind this post. its just to past time. i love you darling. hugs.

GIS Lab

classes started yesterday. today is my first considered i terpaksa ponteng yesterday. anyway, we didnt have UNGS 2040 today. dunno why. so now in the GIS lab waiting for Prof. Alias our lecturer. me and computer are bestfriends. have internet connection lagi tue. so cool. and this is the first class im attending for this semester. and im a SENIOR. aiyah....i feel so old. but its exciting to see those juniors running around. he he he ok lah, before i get caught using the net to blog and banned from it..ill go. bye

weekendersss....

wow. it has been a hectic weekend. partying like hell. i cant even remember the last time i really slept. rainforest was the bomb. everyone should come again next year. or mayb make it a family event. i like all this togetherness. other than the party facts, nothing really interesting happened. except for my future business in mind. and negotiation. battle of the band is coming up in kch. and i get to be part of it. wanna score big bucks. aiyah i hate this business side of me. i get so busy. and i neglect people around me. ***im sorry syg...

uni started already but because i couldnt get tickets to come back on time plus my back is aching like hell...im sick. so i terpaksa ponteng one day. i hope i wont get summoned or anything. but to hell with it. im in love with kch. i want to be here all the time. ive been so involved in my hometown's event. and i pretty much enjoy it. cheers to the NEW me!!!

oklah, catching a flight in few hours. good bye kch. ill miss you. *mwahs*

talk the talk

this madness, this glory of sadness is sipping through my veins. i wish i could just fly. just fly out of the galaxy into the other world. i hate u. i hate u too. and i dont want anyone. go away illusion. go away imagination. i want to feel safe in the arm of an angel but not you. i hate u. hate.

unfaithful

And he knows im unfaithful and it kills him inside to know that, im happy with some other guy. I can see him dying. I dont want to do this anymore. I dont want be the reason why. Everytime i walk out the door. I see him dying a little more inside. I dont want to hurt him anymore. I dont want to take away his life. I dont want to be a murderer.....

Perit....

Ku tatap gambar wajahmu, Sinar mata itu, Lirik senyumanmu, Pesona yang membelai, Wajahmu bercahaya, Memberi bahagia, Tiap yang memandang hati menjadi salju......kau terlalu istimewa, tetapi ku ingin melihat mu dewasa. Ku tak tertanggung rindu tuk mendengar suaramu dan tawamu mengusik jiwa.........adakah ini akan menjadi fantasiku didalam realiti diriku. Atau adakah ini titik noktah kebahagiaan dalam kesenduan?! apa dayaku....

...my senses...

some stories are better left untold. some words are better left unspoken. and certain acts are better left unexplained. why? because a tiny bit of mistake done will cause far much trouble and too much pain. in the end the people involve will get mislead, sad, bitter, and heartbroken. **Note; trust and honesty is the best quality. but can we be just that all through our life? i think not.

so people, even if u think ure right in most situation, there will be a time where u better keep your mouth shut n don't even try to make sense of certain things. i'd prefer someone to held an emotional help than mere words.

i love you. *mwahs*

Stand Up!

sadness is my cloud now. my forever emotional state. it erects anger in me. and i turn pretty ugly. this happens last night. i became protective of my own feelings. mine only. and didnt care of the others. i nearly lost someone last night. someone who i am comfortable with, part of my soul. im thankful for not losing him permanently. a friend once said "if you cant leave him, endure living with him cause you know you can't live without him.." it was one of the most wonderful thing ive heard. coming from someone i never thought would have said it. can't be better rephrase. so, today im better. after a dreadful night, crying myself to bed. and feeling all bitter, im fit to say...FAITH has brought myself together.

My Suprised Belated Bday Party

happened last saturday. it was the same as any other day. me and my siblings when out for a drive. afterwards we went visiting our aunt (our 2nd mother..). bla bla bla...nothing un usual happened. so to cut the story short...

my brother told me we were going to watch a midnight movie. some story la he said. and guranteed me ill simply love it. so here i was being naive. i said, ok. lets. and then he said he will come pick me up at around 10. just get ready he says. (dah ada lesen kereta katakan....) so, at 10.10 i was still waiting. he came back at around 10.30 with a bunch of boys..cute! much younger boys. geez im pathetic. *grin* it was 11.00 when we finally went out.

we took the usual road we take everytime going to the cinema. so i didnt expect anything. but when he turned at the next traffic light, away from the cinema, i was thinking to myself. why didnt he turn into the cinema? but i was like..... maybe picking up more friends kot! so i didnt say anything. not until he stopped in front of grappa. our local club. i was getting suspicious. i said why are we here? he just smiled and parked.

to cut the story shorter...there i was sitting in the club. with my boring face and dunno what to do. when suddenly a lot of people came. all smiling at me. i was wondering who they were. so, as usual i smiled back. then came the drinks. and my brother came and made a toss. he said "to the birthday girl, my beloved sister! happy birthday!!!" he apologise for not having a cake. he said budget tak cukup. aahahha. i said nevermind. thank you. everybody sang for me. and i heard a dedication from the dj's booth. and everyone in the club started to sing for me. i was so embarass. i can feel my face getting hot. but it was fun. i hugged him. and the everyone started to get wild n dancing.

well, at least he remembered! ehehhe or mayb it was just a small gesture to make sure he could party that night. ahahah i dont know. but im happy. at around 2am we moved to another club-rainforest, everyone i know just happened to be there. nearly everyone said hello. i felt like a celebrity all of a sudden. funny. and then the dj played RnB songs for me as soon as i walked in. My brother's doing again. so im proud. im happy. and i can say, im satisfied. i feel loved.

Thank you brother...you're the bomb! despite the no cake and the idea of it being a belated occasion, uve succesfully made my bday a blast. Happy Birthday to me! i wish my other half was with me......

p/s: to view pics from the night, http://qu33n.multiply.com/photos/album/13

Love,
Nina

From the noble Qur'an

Woman was made from the rib of man, She was not created from his head to top him, Nor from his feet to be stepped upon, She was made from his side to be close to him, From beneath his arm to be protected by him, Near his heart to be loved by him.

perfection

our wants and needs are overlapping each other when it wants to. in that perfect moment we couldnt decide which is more important. wants or needs? sometimes we cant even differentiate these thing. its so complicated! yes it is.

this is not selfish! wanting true love to exist is not selfish. but how can u tell when its true and when its just another monkey love? well, im lucky and proud to say ive found someone worthwhile. i know ive posted this kind of blog a thousand time before. but it doesnt hurt to actually PRONOUNCE it as a mere satisfaction. this is my perfection. he perfects me. eventhough sometimes he gets on my nerve. who doesnt once in awhile? but it is HIM who could make we go around the world with feelings. thank you.

this is for you my lolo;

- im the girl who likes your hug and hopes for a kiss at the end
- i like it when you hug me without any aparent reason...it melts me.
- i would want to stay in LOVE with you and forever more.
- i cannot forget the first time u kiss me on my forehead...the first ever!
- i like listening to you mumbling even if i dont get it sometimes.
- i like it when u laugh at my silly jokes....i know its tiring.
- i like the idea of having you for my own.
- i want to wake up one day & have you beside me & u never have to leave
- ure my bestfriend, my lover and my savior.
- i love it when you stare at me and say "I love you baby..."
- i want you badly to be right back beside me.
- i like it when u make me feel safe in your hands at night while i sleep.
- your arms around me tight, everything feels so right.
- i like it when u introduce me to your friend as "This is my girlfriend.."
- im walking on cloud nine everytime im with you.
- you keep things so smooth, so happy, so magical...
- but i hate everytime u give statements that would make me cry
- anyhow, the bitterness is lovely when u start caring again
- even so, our fights are always there...and will remain as such.
- ure the perfect mate through my hardship. thank you....
- i now, will just wait for the moment of time to say "i do..."

i love you my LOLO...

ok, i know some people would puke when reading this. some might say its lame. or maybe some may say this aint true. "she doesnt love him like what she says." but who are you to say those things? its my life. its my book. my chapter. its up to me to scribble anything i like. and this is the post i like best. cause suddenly i feel so alive again. so real, pure satisfaction, and supercalifragelisticexpialidocious.

dedication; my syg, i will try to keep our promise intact. i want it to be there always. and may this bloom like the rising sun. i love you darling.

note; even if i dont end up with you in the later years, i know this meeting was a blast. it has become something good and part of me will keep is as the best memories ive had, kept under special care. but for now, u have perfected me in so many ways. to you i have to thank. to you i owe. im glad to have finally met my soulmate.

toodles!

Love,
Nina Liyana

state of mind

humming: "say u love me all around the world....just say u love me"

the lyric is stuck in my head. it humms automatically when ever i switch the play button. old songs has it's sentimental value i can never learn to describe in words. not now. not ever. some of it has the most impact on me than the rest of the songs i know from this millenium. not to mention the lovely well written lyrics. and the beautiful angelic voices.

the world is changing into some random voice pit stop. take malaysia for instant. everyone is trying so hard to gain back the gloriest era of our local music industry. but so far none has succeeded to make a diff. why do i say so? we cant even commercialize our industry outside of malaysia. accept for siti nurhaliza la. but what happened to the new comers? to all the provoking AF candidates? malaysian idol? they were famous just because of the shows' publisity and afterwards...everything comes to a pitch black. so quiet. even we can here the cicak clicking...(i guess thats what its called...ahahaha).

and most that made the way up... well sorry to say but it's so understated. so NOT BEST. and commercial value is low. cant blame our generations if we prefer outsider musicians better. most of the people i know would rather have indonesian songs in their playlist than any local singers' songs. and if there were malay songs, it will be from the 70s and 80s.

sayang la...we have all the beautiful ethnic and exotic music rythmn and instrument. why arent any of us manipulating it and make full use of it? than copying some other foreign country but isnt as near as good. pity. such pity.

some people may not agree to my statement. but this what i feel. im in thirst of good local music. if someone could change our state. im happy.

good night.

p/s: influences are good.but when its not. it turns ugly.

*smiles*

Love,

Nina

movie review

i love X-MEN : THE LAND STAND. a movie u must watch. gurantee to satisfy the need of action. even da vinci code couldnt be better than it. aiyah...i like!

river of emotions

HAPPY+sad*sorry*enmity+euphoric

*hatred+LOVE*

~ostentatious-loveless*deliberate~bashful+

stupid-smart+missing~

>wanting+needing*tedious-boring*chirpy+LONELY*isolated>

dilema-like+tired~energetic-

dope,dreams^wonder-magnificent~setia+confused

*HOT+cold+CARE>grumpy~

uncomfortable*uneasy-queasy,thirst

+beautiful+CINTA^lovely

>WADEVA....."\/\/"

<*>

wadeva it is.....time for us to get straight with ourselves.

take care people.....

M&M's

people say kfc is finger licking good. but M&M's? wow wee mouth watering. ok i may exaggerate more than i should. but this is what chocolates do to people like me. ive not eaten chocolate for like....ermm half a year? tonight is a marking of a natural delight. i like.... and here's to the alcoholism! and chocolatism....!!!! aajaaaaa....

love all of you! *wink!

Love,
Nina Cullen (eyeh?)

my fav book review

ok...im trembling while typing this review. i want to say many things about this. once i saw this book "twilight by stephanie meyers" in BORDERS bookstore last month, i was captivated by it. but didnt have the cash to buy it. cause i was stuck with other 2 books. but 2 weeks ago. i came to my friend's room, kuhaz, and saw this familiar book on her table. i nearly screamed when i saw it.

so, i finally finished reading the book on wednesday after finishing my other book. honestly, this book is not close to what i can imagine. i thought it would be just another normal teen book. but i got it wrong. it was the best ever book ive read. the book is the type that will keep u wondering for a long time even after u finished the last page. not to mention the writer make vampires look less scary and more intriguing. some sort gorgeous.

ok, here's the deal. the book tells us the story of a girl meets boy, boy meets girl and both fall in love with each other and finally the girl found out that the boy is inhuman = a vampire. eventhough she knows how dangerous it is. she still goes on with the relationship. how sweet is that? the most interesting part is how edward cullen (the gorgeous vampire with porceline skin...) fight/struggle with his own internal beings. it wasnt easy but he tries very hard. because of one reason. HE IS IN LOVE WITH BELLA (the girl...). dont u just like stories like this?

btw, i cant tell you more than this. cause it will spoil the fun. u must go read this book. up till now im still dazed by it. and if im lucky i might just end up with a guy like that (aiyah...see im even dreaming of having a guy like that?) but i dont mind. i dont mind if i have to turn into a vampire myself just to have a guy like that. true love is...stronger than anything in the world. even for a living vampire. *sigh*

so people...go get this book. grab it while u can. before the movie starts(i hope..) cause it will be the first movie with too many gorgeous people casting. i bet you girls out there will be "rambang" mata after this. HAVE FUN!

i rate this book as 9/10.....my favourite book of the year for the moment.

p/s: i bet ill have another dream of vampires again tonight.....

Love,
Nina Cullen

and so it is....

arrived kch at 10pm. called someone that aint eager to know im here. im safe here. and still wondering why. im no fun anymore. i just realise that. i get emo everyday. and i hate it.

2moro will be the day for the beach. sadly im having my period now. cant swim. but ill definately enjoy the sun. here i come!!!!

good night myself. i hate this feeling. im lonely.

p/s: i am sad. my life is sad. *currently listening to a sad song....*

Love,
Nina

kemenanganku....

kau tunjukkan aku bahagia, kau tunjukkan aku derita...
kau berikan aku bahagia, kau berikan aku derita....

itulah kemenangan untuk diriku.

mohd irwandi ammegie, kaulah trofi ku. trofi kemenangan yg tidak dapat di tukar ganti. sememangnya ku telah jatuh cinta sama kamu. hanya kamu.

i'd love to say "i do..."

Lots of Love,
Nina

creating an illusion...

one thing i know i cant bare with is UIA. i want to be very far away from here. literally speaking la. not technically.i wish i was meant for another uni. but i love this uni also. so how ah? i got my result today. and it sucks! 0.1 drop. and im frustrated. i wished it could be better. but nooo...it had to suck all the life of today. NOT. back in UIA makes me feel so...i dunno, lost! i want to go home. thank god im going home this weekend. i love you everybody. im going crazy.

BELLA LUNA will be my anak's name...ehehhe *hUgS*

LOve,
Nina

im a fan...

of brown...pink...black(makes me look sexy and slim at the same time)

and of all the colours in the world. makes my life cheerful

of THE O.C

of Orlando Jonathan Blanchard Bloom

of Magics and anything that has to do with it

of MYSELF

of a Mini-Cooper

of ....and other things that is worth being a fan of. DUH!

cheers!

what the heck?

people say my course is good. can get good source of money. but thats what they said about any other courses too if u were to ask. years ago, they said civil was the best and worthwhile. then came up iT. now what? the medicine era? aiyah...so tiring la all this course choosing. might as well stay home and wait for the money to fall from the sky. but that aint happening aint it? so there they were the lil kids wanting to grow up (tuija jak sidaknya...) and us adult wanting to be children again. less hassle, less messy, less HEADACHE. and i want to think everyday will be the same...me playing the barbie dolls or "masak-masak" and not think bout business deals and making money. i think thats why PeterPan just refuses to grow up. OH THE CLEVERNESS of me he says....HAIL THE CARTOON CHARACTERS! they are so cute and happy.

the other things...

(at a.lily's house on the 16th)
the minute i entered the house....

a.kiah : sik nampak kurus pun...
nina : ah? mena ka?
shit ive lost like 20kilos already and u dont see it? - in my mind la...

but i still managed to crack a smile. but then suddenly when i went to send some stuff to her the next day she was like...

a.kiah : eee...kurus kitak, nina oh? *she smiled*
nina : eyh? sekdala...ntah.
aiyer...wussup with this lady? so fickle kah? or just being nice to me?
im so confused...- playing in my mind again.

was depressed for a minute when she told me i dont look like ive lost any weight. but there goes my brother saying...

boy : iboh dgr bah cakap nya. a.kiah bah. palak sik betul sikit. *he laughed*
and i just *sigh* and didnt say anything till we get home that evening.

many things ran in my brain...doing flip flop, mind tricks to me. and i was paranoid of how i look. and also not to forget i sleep in depression that evening. but i can still hear my mom's conversation with my dad on sunday night.

mama : pa, kiah told something to our daughter.
appa : what?
mama : she said she didnt look like she lost any weight. nina was so depressed.
she still is thou.
appa : how u know?
mama : boy la madah...sapa gik?

that was it i heard...didnt hear anything else as i lay on their bed that night. pretending to be fast asleep that later on i actually did feel asleep. till the time came to send my dad to the airport later that night. so i didnt say much that day. and not till today. im avoiding to see ppl. only close friends. suddenly all the ugliness i feel comes back.

aiyah i was so happy with myself until that statement. stupid. but still am. in smaller proportion. *gRin*

old conversation

ok!

this time my mom occured a sound.the slightest that makes you think so much.

we (my mom and my siblings) were gathered in my mom's room earlier this evening. was watching our favourite indonesian tv drama "DIA". sappy drama that is. if you haven't heard of it. pity YOU! cause its kinda good to sit down and watch it with the whole family. spending quality time even it isnt so much great. but its still family time!

ok enuff. actually before we went to barong tinuk (so cool la this place..i shall bring you one day!?) for dinner, my mom pass a statement that her anak-anak should marry a foreigner. so may be better phrase cute gorgeous men and women. cause her theory is; so we shall never get ugly children that has flatten nose and weird eyes. or something like that. so, she said to me...maybe you should consider getting an org putih boyfriend. or latino. or even indonesian with good features. ahahahah. that was funny. while she was refering to that my brain starts working and running to find any available person for me to start with. and there came up felanie's name. ahahha *nong if ure reading this dont get me wrong...he's so adorable and very hard to resist...thats all!* my brain was playing mind tricks with me again. all this fantasies of having good looking boyfriend is so irresistable. but i have yet to find one. im evil. *sorry syg*

afterwards, we went to dinner and bumped into my other family members. what a small world kuching is. so we ended up eating together. the 10 of us. food was delicious and there was another round of post-motem of the anniversary party. gossiping again. as usual. but funny thing is, i realise my family has this love-hate relationship that makes me wonder how we actually can stand each other for so long. hah! blood-tie.

weird thing happened....the topic of gorgeous people came up again. i think my family is obssess with "org kacak". we can never be bored of them. we eventually will be mesmerized by the fact that someone gorgeous is standing beside us. nasib tak drooling....ahahaha.

so ending...we like gorgeous people! cause it makes the sun shines brighter. to me la. up to you to judge. i guess one day ill consider my mom's suggestion. or will soon find one. im gorgeous also what! wow...i actually said that. good night everybody.

toodles!!!

Love,
Nina

revatalizing....

let me tell you a stroy of last weekend. 8th of April. A date of my aunt's and uncle's wedding anniversary. the function turn out well. thanks to everybody involve that is. +US+ ehehehe it was a fun night comparing to the months work some of us had to do to prepare it. especially my cousin Kak Long. She was so dedicated man. No one i know can be half as hardworking as she is. To the rest that contributed to it, aiyah they were simply the best too. Nothing beats us for any family gatherings. "Togetherness tek nakkkk..."

everyone was so beautiful and handsome. yes they were. all in their evening gowns and tuxedo. ive never seen anything more alluring than that. some are just incredibly sexy. including my mom. the guys i must say some of them turn out to be hot. i met this handsome couple. both mat salleh of course. i bet they are mix latino. cause that feature is damn prominent. they were gorgeously paired up. me and my cousins were like "WOW! look at that....they must be the king and queen of the night" but oh well, despite that others were gorgeous too. do check out the pictures folks!

at the beginning, the function was so formal. but towards the end everyone started loosen up. had a few drinks around, and people started dancing the poco-poco. geez, people are just craving for that. and then when it ended, i just realise the only ones on the dance floor at 3am was me, felanie, nong and isk. where did everybody else go? so u can just imagine what party people we are la...i basically jump from one place to another. from the dance floor to the stage. got few stares from me mom to behave. but let's see...erm?? we didnt even care! thank god she didnt blow up. but to round it up. it was fun. terrific.

ending...the 4 of us went up to my room and sleep. zzZzzzz NIGHT!

enough said....check out the pictures aight??!!!

here >>> www.qu33n.multiply.com/photos

Lots of Love,
Nina the Belacanism.....

buzzing like a beeeeeeeeeeeeee......

ok, the past month has been hectic. talking bout workload. nothing beats KULLIYYAH OF ARCHITECTURE workload. a lot? thats not the most suitable term to give. i guess its MASSIVELY BOMBASTIC LIKE MOUNTAIN HIGH A LOT. yeah im exaggerating but thats the whole truth. i can count the days that i really had beautiful sleep at night. and usually these sleep enjoins with beautiful dreams....like a dream that would never come true. *gRin*

final presentation of our layout was last monday. i amazingly and suprisingly PASSED!! out of all the students in class, i was one of the people that passed. i was glad. i didnt expect it though but as usual i WANT it. Alhamdulillah.

also had quizes and midterms...and thank god i did fine. i didnt fail or anything. just average. mostly cukup makan. so im proud. thinking back the times i failed to study. HA HA HA.

ok la...im bored of writing. off to SW this evening at 530 and going to eat at my old matriculation centre for dinner tonight with my friends. i guess that would be something nice for a change......see ya people!!!

p/s: wish me luck for my halaqah final exam 2moro!!!

Hugs!

Love,
Nina the Belacanism....

my current mood

i woke up late again today. what else is new? got dressed and off to class. im wondering what today has instill for me. will it be fun or will it be depressing? i came an hour late to the studio today. lecturers were really pissed. but as usual again...i just BUAT TAK TAHU. they commented on all the layouts. and told us its a crap. i guess i have to agree. i dont think my layout was all that good. *gRin*

so, till the afternoon session, ill just say that my mood is actually O-K. maybe it will remain as such till the end of the day. so take care everybody!! i love you...

Lots of Love,
Nina

bedazzled...

Dear secret admire,

since the first time i saw you i was stunned. you look like someone ive admired from a far. that day mark one feeling in me. it generates something to even feel closer...

oh love, i know u know. i know u dont care. but i just wanna say i want you. ure so near yet so far. out of reach zone u are. yes u are. yes u are. i want something else from you. but u cant deliver. i want you to hear me. yet ure so deaf to know that. i want you to look at me with those mesmerizing eyes yet ure too blind to even notice the existence of me.

i have a lot to say to you. i have moments i want to share with you. but im shy. im never this shy. u made me feel this way. your smile is sweet, your voice sings the lullaby in my ear and your presence make me go wild. i wish this doesnt have to happen to me. but it does. since the first time i saw you...

my love, romeo and juliet is a love story, nothing can separate them. ours is an illusionary. i wish for us to be like that. the love story i will share later with other people. when people ask...i want to feel proud of telling the story of ours to the whole world. i want our moments together to be special. but yet you're far away. so rightful far that our heart never click. can i ask for it to beat as one? or is it too much to ask?

i pray for everyday with you in it will never end. cause i know its hard to realise ure just a dream. very high to reach. and my heart itch of pain. may the sun and rain cure this heart of mine. i shall never plead nor cry. for a moment we left behind.

i love you my syg...for you, are the special one....

Love,
Juliet of broken dreams....

the crazy people

yesterday i only bath once. due to the layout plan. shit...i submitted late. but im ok. still sane and gay. waiting for my friend now to plot her layout. just an introduction to the post...

crazy people do crazy stuff...but we crazy people from kaed is labelled as wierd to other people. my mom use to say im weird. but if u act like that in our kulliyyah...im sure ure NORMAL. my dad says, "u do nothing but either drink or berak...when i call" ahhahah...i wish he knew well enough to revoke the statement. that is what i call weird. i dont berak and eat je. lotsa things i do. including amuse myself with things that are 50-50 certain. but at that precise moment its ok.

times flies like an eagle...it romes and haunt me especially nowadays. i always feel i dont have enough time to live my life. i wish the day has more hours, more minutes, and more seconds. so i can capture more moments. and finish what i left behind. but i know GOD created the time as such with reason. so we dont get bored of life easily. perhaps?

to end this post...i recommend people to listen to this song Aqualung - Strange and Beautiful. i love that song. i sing to it, i cry to it, im happy with it...all emotions are in that song. it resembles how i am with this situation of mine. i know my blog seems sappy and sometimes full of lovesick note. but who are u to judge? im here for the freedom of expression. i want people to view my thoughts. i want people to care...if at least for this very null moment.

goodbye earthlings...im off to indulge myself with work again. Assalamualaikum..

Written by,
Nina

layout plan

today, studio day. was suppose to submit our layout plan today before noon. but most of us are just plain lazy. cause none finished on time. and here i am blogging instead of finishing my work. i like..i love the buziness i am feeling. but i hate the headache i feel everytime i dont get enough sleep.

wish me luck guys!! off to handle the workload. im in love.

p/s: i am obssess.....

Love,
Sambal Belacan Lover

my secret...

last night was an emotional night for all of us.

studied for my Quran, Sunnah and Built Environment (QSBE) mid term exam and im glad its over. it was hard though. *still smiling* & going to my aunt's place afterwards. just to go meet everyone for my niece and nephew's cukur jambul.

we talked things through last night. me and friends. we came into conclusion we want to be happy and not dummies. i guess i do need friends after all. i love and care for them. we've been hurt, we've experience the coolness of love, we are dazzed by it and we've tried most of the things under the sun and moon. and still wanting more....

to those trying to figure out what this post is all about. i advise you to stop wondering and start searching what you want in life. i have my goals now. set afirm in my heart. and i know im going to make it into a reality. just wait and see and wishh me luck.

"where ever you may go, you'll meet your soulmate..." [from : goddess of light]

p/s: i love you....

Lots of Love,
Sambal Belacan Lover

i admire....SMILE

today is a fun day. despite knwoing i have mid-term exam tomorrow. (he said : esok u ada spahic's day? hah!) im happy today. i like today. and i admire the sun that shines on me today. life is so "on my side" today. if one day i would think back, i guess i know something came true today. he talks, he speaks and he acknowledged. finally. i guess what else better would a girl ask for? just for that person to notice.

when i recall last night's conversation with my dad....i cant help wonder since when did my dad see me as a grown lady? he changed from the protective father (still is la...) to a friend you can talk to. he forbid love in my life a year ago. but last night he asked me to make my obsession true (my bestfriend said so too...). he said, "what u feel is classical signs of falling in love with him..." he also said just dont let it interfere with my work. im ok with it. and im happy my dad likes the person i like. goodness gracious.

im being unfair...but its pure satisfaction. im going to recline from it sooner or later. and what if i want this to become a reality? where shall i put my past? im ok...dont worry. still sane. but obsess.

"dear god,

if im meant for another round....make this a blast. and make it one of the coolest moment of my life. as ive lack in that part. thank you for giving me life. thank you for making me happy. and thank you for doing this to me. i love you...."

Lots of love,
Nina

check out this...

5 tips for a Woman...

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.

[true...]

2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.

[absolute importance...]

3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.

[liars are never suppose to be in the dictionary of our lives...]

4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.

[pampering is always good...]

5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

[ha ha ha...this is most important. wont want them to know....*gRin*]

p/s: so...apa lagi...go find this 4 perfect guys....so we dont have to get depressed over a guy anymore aight? i wish you the best of luck!!

Love,

Nina Liyana

life goes around

once upon a lifetime i use to say everything will end up ok. i know it does. i know it will. but when it comes to special moments that u need a break from positive solutions or things that doesnt have solutions....i guess thats when problems comes. u just cant live through what we call LIFE. thats when people start backbiting, killing themselves, and threaten to have suicide notes.

ive come across my friend's blog, and she said she loves all kind of fairy tale that we know doesnt exist. but believing is making it into a reality. i believe in all that. i love what u love Aqiss. maybe we are sadist but that doesnt mean we are uncool kan? lets make a vow, we are to be cooler. ahahah and to remain as gorgeous as now. ahahhaha

life for me goes around. bad or good. its still cool. i guess thats the fun in it. im trying to focus making my layout a bomb. and i better get back to it. i like....layout here i come. love!

Love,
Sambal Belacan Lover

orlando bloom

im trying to figure out who is the hottest of the hots. guys la i mean. well, actually i have decided. and only one name rings in my head now. dearest orlando bloom. he is so hot and that smile is so captivating. ok, some of my friends wont agree to this. as a friend of mine likes adam brody, then there's keanu reeves and the phantom planet lead singer. so yeah...i actually am expressing what i think. i think orlando is perfect. if i find someone like him near me. ill be sure to grab him. unless he is owned by someone else that is. i likeee....

dearest orlando bloom, i love you.....i wish to meet you some day.

Love,
Nina Liyana

sunday morning...

good morning my fellow mates. its been weeks since i last updated my blog. i guess, time is quite limited for us Urban Planning students due to massive workloads. anyhow, just a quick recap of what ive been doing the whole week.

monday - had my design crit session. it was approved! yeay! but lotsa things to re-do la.

tuesday - had to prepare for principles of urp assignment.

wednesday - havent slept yet and submission of principles here!

as for thursday - i was moody and down. i helped the planmic committees to prepare for the seniors' graduation dinner and had to rush to finish up bm essay writing and my car got into an accident. kesian cookie. thank god nothing serious.

friday- the actual dinner. skipped studio that morning and my lecturer got so emo cause we cant be bothered with class. shit. things went smoothly. and the funny part is, i wasnt moody at all.

saturday - cut my hair really short. and i like it. i feel so free!!!

sunday - currently working on my landscape assignment.

to those who are lazying around at home...keep it rocking! i envy you. and may God bless everyone. love! peace!

Sambal Belacam Lover

Another Valentines in My Eye

remembrance of the day in the past when i was a little girl...one song rings in my head. the "que sera sera" song. "what ever will be will be" this is what some people may say. but i know thats the least i want to happen. topic- valentines day. indication of? obviously LOVE. what do people know about love? im writing this post and i know not many people will read. just the urge of expressing is there. often my mates will say, ure beautiful as you are and no need to worry about having people loving you. i know that for a fact that sometimes i think im beautiful. but thats not the whole point. i dont need assurance. but just merely need some excitement i guess...have yet to feel that in years.

anyway, valentines day this year is the same as any other year. spending it alone. its not a sad thing and i dont need pity. LOVE here still remains. even with or without a partner. its a day for giving love to EVEN your friends & family. i have both around me for now. im happy. full stop. if people are to always judge this day as only for lovers. they are demolishing the value of love. u dont live with only your partner. u dont devote yourself entirely to them. i know i dont. and guys always see that as my strength and something that holds them back to come near me. i guess some guys just want a girl that could be their display doll. some trophy. or someone they can overpower. im not like that at all. maybe born with a conservative dad and a modern thinking mom,i grow up into a balance child that knows how to stand up for myself. if ure searching for a girl that would just say YES to your every say, uve come to the entire wrong page. im an ordinary girl with dreams. i talk for myself. and have the mind of my own. im not rebellious. but i want things to be equal. i guess that fair aint it?

talking again on the subject valentines. a friend sent me this msg of LOVE. its says, "love is not only made for lovers; its also for friends who trust each other better than lovers. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!" so have u got that kind of friend? if u do, i presume that your valentines is complete. dont go thinking your valentines sucks just because you dont have a partner. love is subjective. its given to everyone with the kind heart. arrogance will destroy this. u have the heart to love? love people around you. someone special will come eventually. no need to search. naturally it flows like water. if it gets stuck at the rock cause by any obstructing cause. then mayb he/she is yours. its called fate. just have faith. we will flow thru. respect yourself before embarking into this journey. if you dont. ull sail into the doomed.

take care you people....and have a VERY HAPPY VALENTINES!! i love you....

Lots of Love,
Sambal Belacan Lover

a day in my shoe...

my shoe stinks. ahahahha NOT. its just some amusing facts i do to myself when im bored. today out of all the day i feel so crammed and tired and bored. had lectures from the lecturer on various topics. this seldom happens in the studio. cause u see, studio is a place of fun. where u minggle with the rest of your mates and completing your work. i like the atmosphere of that but not today. after the holidays, the studio seems dull in a way. it wasn't as cold as i remembered. maybe the day was too hot. or maybe its just me feeling weird. i dunno. its my inner thoughts that is playing with me again today. hello "thinkabelly!" thats another nick for my thoughts. HA HA HA HA HA.

got a msg from wandy this morning indicating he did well in the interview. what else does a girlfriend need right? is to have her boyfriend get what he wants. im proud of him. and i bet his parents are too. they should be. he's all good. still good. he told some good news also. he may send in money for my ticket to NZ. so cool kan? i wish im having holidays now. i know ill immediately go. well, thats me! over excited bout stuff at the beginning. ahh...enough of that!

guess...there's nothing else to complain...i just need to finish up my 2 assignments for the moment. QSBE and my design concept. i hope ill succeed. i know i will. cause im the SUPERSTAR! ahahahha...toodle loo everyone. *hUgS*

p/s: that was short for a day in my life. ehe ill update tonight! if la..

Love,
Nina

i wonder.....

at the very last moment u always wonder what it would be like if u had done something differently. i always do. im in the central of emotions now. i preach about love and how to handle it in a proper way but i dont act as what i preach. I guess being a preacher aint that easy huh? yesterday was a mark of victory... manage to persuade something to do something. but dont ask me what's the something. im never telling. relationships for me are going strong. love each other so much. yet lotsa hassle bassle along the way.

what i wish? something good in return for what ever sacrfices ive met. rollercoaster going round and round and i feel dizzy. but yet im alright. things are mounting up. piling every day per inch. im drowning in my own thoughts. i know this post sounds depressing. but i know also that im not depress nor unhappy. im just being normal. trying hard to express in a way that my thoughts doesnt hurt myself nor others. i love life. i thought its sucky. but for real, its full of miracle and magnificent things that has yet to be explored. see the sun, we only use the effect of light and heat..but the particles? its beyond reach. the moon shines so brightly every mid-month and lovers intwinned themselves towards it. a mark of love n embrace. how i wish my days are full of that. but im happy as it is. i dont need changes if it isnt for the best. i just need love. its spelled easily but to obtain n cherish it will be one mighty job. i guess i have never appreciate love. not in my life before or now. i take things for granted. but im happy.

so who's selfish? i am. no other people can match that up. i keep loosing..but i gain. that is what makes me confident everything can be earn over and over again. i guess i just realise my mistake when its actually gone. when the love never shines anymore, when the sweet melody dreads the song, when the birds stop chirping to the sun, and when the moon seems so dim for the first time. Have u ever felt that way? i know i did. i know i got depress over it. i know i cried. but one thing i do not know...will i change for that matter?? people often say they will. but do they actually do it?

life's so short to wonder and look at the past and regret everything uve done. what we really need to do is grab chances and do our best. walking on a field of corn, u should pick the best corn u see and u can never turn back. so the similarities to life is..once uve missed that special chance of getting the best as u always delay daily the encounter of grabbing it at that precise moment, once uve realised it. its gone. and no way we can turn back and say to life, i just wish i could have gotten a second chance to do it all over again. real life doesnt work that way. thats why humans are full of regrets. live your life to the fullest. and always see your glass half full.

let people love u, care for u, cherish u but never take them for granted or not be appreciative. remember, the cycle of life goes around and may not come back to the very beginning. we may die in the duration, we may have another cycle. we never know. so appreciate people around you. as i am trying my best to....

Lots of love,
Nina

human vs. animal

animals can be classified into 2. wild and tame. well, obviously tame animals are most preferrable. but i like wild. like the tigers in the jungle? those are way much cooler. i love tigers. full stop. eehehhe. no pedigree name there. thanks to sarah. well, basically what i wanna say per indications with the topic, i can say that sometimes human can act like babies but far more worst like animals. dont use their head to think. im frustrated. yes. but that doesnt mean im not rational. so to tell you the truth, i hate these type of people. act as such nothing in this world matters more then their personal wants. shit. think la. dont hurt other people just for the fun of it. rationalize. cause thats the best policy. anyway, i was saying again. i love to have a pet at home. not cats but dogs this time. that cute little puppy in the window. so brown so cute. and to tell you the truth ive been wanting it since high school. or more to say since kindi. eheheheh so, conclusion here is...human vs animals? theirs no win-win situation. its either u care for the animal...u be an animal....u act as human....or u nurture both values. i pick last. brain is a beautiful thing god created for us. nurture n protect it from harm! i love....

Lots of Love,
Nina

Awal Muharam

Tonight is the beginning of the month "Awal Muharam". A marking day of the end of the Hijrah year in the Muslim Calender. I hope my fellow muslim bros and sisters did their prayers and recite the doa of year end and beginning of the year. I hope this brand new year will change me. Not as a whole completely but bit by bit to make me a better person. As well as bring you benefits as a whole. And i end this post with a doa i got through sms earlier this evening.

"Ya Allah! grant us kindness & iman; Ya Kareem! give us Patience & Love; Ya Rahim save us from Jahannam & reward us with Your Jannah! Amin! Happy New Year 1427H"

Assalamualaikum W.B.T

Lots of Love,

Nina

Kejahilan Kita

selain daripada shark fin sup. saya makan abalone dan sayur-sayuran. makan malam hari ini sedap seperti malam kelmarin. hari ini saya rasa ingin untuk berbicara dalam bahasa melayu. telah menukarkan blog skin saya kepada ya lebih sofistikated. cantik kan? betul ke ejaan itu? BM kerjaya telah menampakkan belang nya. Saya telah mula meminati B.M. apakah itu B.M? BM atau nama panjangnya Bahasa Melayu merupakan bahasa kebangsaan Malaysia. Tetapi tidak tahu mengapa, kita lebih mengutamakan bahasa inggeris sebagai bahasa perantaraan lebih-lebih lagi dengan pertukaran sistem bahasa komunikasi di institusi-institusi pengajian tinggi. Adakah B.M tidak boleh berkembang maju? atau sekadar di ketepikan? Setelah menonton rancangan televisyen "Songket bersama SKii" di kaca tv kelmarin, saya mendapati penggiat seni melayu adalah drpd golongan Peranakan bukannya Melayu secara lahir. Kenapa jadinya begini? Tidakkah Melayu mampu untuk menjadi penggiat seni warisan kita sendiri? atau kita begitu jahil akan nya? Melihat urat-urat benang yang menghasilkan sebuah songket yang bernilai membuatkan diriku terharu akan kelembutan dan ketelitian kraftangan kita ini. Sampai bilakah Melayu harus lupa diri dan memberi jalan kepada bangsa lain untuk menjadi perintis seni warisan masa hadapan?

Ditulis oleh,
Amanina.....

p/s: well, this is only a thing i felt like writing. No offence to any race. Its just something i feel should be written. Sorry to those who i left hanging n ive offended this far. Take care now. *BIG LOVE*

goodbyeee....

have u heard the song - goodbye my lover sang by james blunt? that inspires me for this one...

its been awhile now that this has been going...i nearly lost love because of this. and i nearly gave myself because of this. way back in history it was different. things were blunt. things were happy. things were shadowy. things were sad. but anything measured to this is crap. i know you people wont understand. but only the love i nearly lost would know why im writing this. thought it was for real. i got into a confusion over this. but after tonight, its clear. dilemma, no dilemma. everything is crystal clear. emo nina no more. but fine rejuvenating nina. so here's my last goodbye, to a friend, to a lover once, to a dreamer, to someone whom i cared up till the very last drop, and to the bestest n worst thing that happened to me in those days. predict this, ure a magician. predict it not ure normal.

to the people i cherish, love and owe a lot : have a peaceful life ahead. changes in the lunar calendar n in the moon makes everything worthwhile. Islamic calender coming to an end. Celebrate it and cherish the very moment so we can pray to God for a second chance. Amin...

Lots of love,
Nina

something to shareeee....enjoy!!

Your Seduction Style: Fantasy Lover

You know that ideal love that each of us dreams of from childhood? That's you!Not because you posess all of the ideal characteristics, but because you are a savvy shape shifter.You have the uncanny ability to detect someone's particular fantasy... and make it you.

You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorableEven a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's lifeBy giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover.

Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives.Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours.No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover.

world around me

hello again!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~

nothing to report back today. i just wanna say to everyone that i feel ancient after going to our national library today (with daydeck as usual). the place for lepaking way back in the early 2000. where ppl meet ppl and not forgetting dating...hah! i use to like going there as a teen. i mean im not that old la. just 20 but ive grown so mature that i couldnt recognise myself sometimes. instead of cuci-mata-ing like i use to back then, i was there to do a real research for my assignment. thats why i feel so lame, boring n ancient. i saw all these school kids sitting at the library with their form 3, form 4 and spm books. and i look at mine. SHIT! urban planning? town planning? laws? street design? im oldddddd...i hate the big 2-0. and i hate my campus. hate my lecturers for giving too much work to do. and most important is. i hate my life without wandy. ala syg....come back k? mwahs. i love you. ok before i get all mushi and i bet no one needs to know or read the jiwangness i have. ill let it be like that. im gonna enjoy my chat with people i love now and the rest of you...get a life! stop reading my foolishness blog. love ya! *HuGs*

Lots of Love,
Nina

what happened?

ok..i know its been a long time since i updated this little black book of mine. i love myself now. just a note. ehehhe

just a little update on what happened while i was gone form writing. its not in a correct order. im writing as and when i remember things. ok? so here goes....

my car got hit. lost my side mirror. sian cookie.wandy went back today n i cired. got a diamond dust ring from wandy before he left n i cried again.im emotional.u must know that by now.did a suprise party for my syg. it wasnt succesful but its still good.went clubbing that night too. came back at 6. my leg was hurting a week ago.limping and i feel so handicapped.thansk to friends i survived.had an incredible time doing projects with my legolas look alike. was tired the whole of last week cause of massive assignment due dates. and this list goes on...maybe ill update later?

im in a state of wreckness. my eyes are swollen n puffy after the cry. 2days in a row. and i have flu. hate it. now im going to be happy. typing all those history is very sad cause everything relates to one person. and that person is YOU. syg u so much...mwahs.

p/s: im leavingggggggggggggggg.....mwahs

Lots of Love,
Nina

im very sick

wounded...sick...all the bad feeling...i am enduring. how can i be sick at the very last moment. yummy choc cake to bake. graphic scrap to do. and tons of assignment to finish. damn im tired and all worn out. i need a break. mayb head for the beach and indulge myself with the heat n sand? or maybe what i need is a break to a spa. but im feeling great bout something else. i hope everything goes out right for me later.....btw, somebody is getting old. ole ole ole....

Love,
Nina

recoveringgg...

i bet my friends will scream when i announce this. but seriously, i dont give a damn. im sure anyone deserves a second chance. so today was my 2nd anniversary with wandy. dont get me wrong, its not 2months but a serious long winded 2years relationship it has been. i broke up with him this morning. after considering a lot of things. but suddenly change my mind after our anniversary dinner. i guess when ure in love no other thing in this world matters. people face hardship now and than. so here i am, trying to endure and accept his mistake. maybe one day he'll do the same to me. i love you syg.....happy 2nd anniversary and many more to come. INSYAALLAH. we have open a fresh chapter in our live for starters. hopefully nothing messy will come our way that we couldnt solve. if this thing happens again next time. im sure to hold tightly to my guns. so, to my lovely friends, i guess thats done huh? thanks for all your support and kind loving care. i love u with all my heart. wouldnt succeed if it wasnt for you girls. BIG HUG!

p/s: today is recovering...2moro is a blast for the future.

good night.

Love,
Nina

cookie

i finally decided to call my car cookie. its not because i think my car is delicious in any way. but i have always wanted to name one of my valuable thing cookie cause it's cute. thought of giving that nick to my future anak but i changed my mind. mayb ill come with a better on along the way. so for now on...my car is named - COOKIE. plus its all white now. u can say it has lotsa cream on it. ahahahha. so here i am naming my car cookie. hope it doesnt offend anyone. cause i likeeee....

good night everyone...hugs

Lots of Love,
Nina

my guitarist

[CELEBRATION]
hello! sitting at my usual spot again. new year was fab! went to OU street party for the countdown and it felt like a reunion as i saw my other 2 cuzz (dewi n kak marinie) celebrating there also. the rest of the gang was down at Cynna in KL. Wanted to meet up with them but then stupid things came up. but even so...i still enjoyed the very last bit. HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!! mwahs. hugs.

Hit for peterpan concert the next day 010106. that was another fab! despite the stupid things i had to go thru within the 2 days. -arrival- it was raining heavily when me and wandy arrived at the stadium. the "tanah" was so muddy. my shoe was ruined. but its worth it after seeing them perform. ahhh ariel is so damn hot. those six packs are incredible. uki is someone u would fall for too. aiya. so cheeky la me. ehehhe but its fun!

[AFTER PARTY....HEH!!!]
last night, sue played her guitar and sang for us (ppl who wanted to hear). im stuck to this one padi song..yea thanks to her. couldnt remember the name of the song but it is stuck in my head now. and did i tell you "she's fantastic?" she is..she is...i wanna learn toooo.... thumbs up for my dearest guitarist. she's so cool la. i bet if i was a guy i would feel threaten by her.boleh tackle any girl siot.mayb she was born for the stage. "another song is ringing in my head...." ok ok...no more compliments. later makin besar bontot sue. ehehhe i know she will love that to happen. eyh sue?

[TODAY]
when to class with sue cause my car is with wandy. tired of walking la. dont likeee... i miss my car already. talked to appa after class asking if he landed safely or not. he did. thank god. going to search for cheap fares later on. see la kan. nak balik kuching la!!! i feel slimmer now. suddenly jak! apa jak la. afterwards is our tourism meeting with the whole studio. i know it will be chaotic. trust me. lotsa em will never agree. better keep our fingers cross. my class too much dilemma la. later tonight will be going to mambo jambo kot...see if nong is up to it or not. mayb can get in free? ehehehe im lovin' it. ok la....

[END OF CHAPTER]
it became a long blog suddenly. so im bored. can i like stop now? ahahha...bye ppl. dont bother bout this crazy person. take care and have a nice life!

Lots of Love,
Nina